Cherry Waterfall
by Butterly In Furs
Summary: Complete! Yaoi! Shinji & Kaworu! Shinji's Angel has returned... But no one can know! How will they manage? R & R please!
1. Tears

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
  
  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: This being a Neon Genesis Evangelion fic, it's a little hard to explain my time line. I'd have to say this is most definitely an Alternate Universe fic, but at the same time I'm trying to keep this as close to the series as I'm capable of doing. In other words... I hope you guys can understand this!!! ^_^ Also, I'd like to make it clear that this is my first NGE fic, as I'm more accustomed to Dragon Ball Z fics. Either way, I'm doing my best... So, I hope you enjoy! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  
IMPORTANT: I'm writing this fic in first person from many different characters' point of view. To keep things straight, each time I change to a different character's point of view, I have their name inserted. Again, I hope you guys can understand this!!! ^_^  
  
Now, if there's anyone left... On with the fic!  
  
  
  


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Chapter I: Tears  
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Shinji:  
  
It's been two years since Eva, and strangely enough, at times I find myself missing that monster. Towards the end I'd had so little friends. Toji, Kensuke, and even Hikari had relocated out of danger's way. I'm glad they were all safe, but it had left me so alone back then. Misato, Ritsuko, Kaji... They were so far from me then, their work taking up the wholeness of their lives, keeping them from me. Asuka in the hospital, Rei an anomaly, and me all alone.  
  
Sighing, I roll over in my bed, squeezing my eyes shut as I pull my pillow to my face. Why am I still thinking about all this? It's been two years, to the day.   
  
Of course, things are better now, at least, they seem to be. As far as I know, Nerv, the Evas, everything was destroyed, the Angels defeated, the mission accomplished.  
  
I haven't seen my father in six months, but that doesn't bother me. The last I heard, he and Fuyutsuki were off somewhere still continuing their research on the Angels. I just hope they stay away, leave me be.  
  
I hear the front door open and close. It's so late, and Misato is just getting home. She and Kaji started dating again once things calmed down. They were supposed to have gone out with Ritsuko tonight for a movie, but glancing at my bedside clock, I see that it's 4 AM. They must have stopped at a bar on the way home, as usual.  
  
Doesn't she realize she has to work tomorrow? She most likely doesn't care. Misato always complains about her job at the Government Archive Complex, Oh, Shinji, it's _so_ boring!  
  
Well, the least she could do is be quiet. It is Sunday night after all, and Asuka and I have to be up early for school.  
  
My mind touches on the past again and I'm so thankful for Asuka's recovery. It was only recently that she even started talking to me. I think she still holds some anger, maybe even hatred, towards me, but I don't mind. She's back to her loud self and it's nice.   
  
The school is better now too, all the families having moved back once things were finished. Toji, Kensuke, they're all back! And yet... I still find myself alone.  
  
I slap my hands over my face, curling somewhat into a fetal position. I have to stop thinking about all this! My mind is heading down a depressing path, it's destination: Tears. And I really don't think I can cry anymore.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
What's taking that idiot so long? Doesn't he realize he's late?   
  
Growling somewhat, I glance at the empty table. Misato doesn't even bother trying to be maternal, even though she has the opportunity now. Looks like Shinji and I will be buying breakfast again.  
  
I don't even know why I wait for him. My therapist said that it would be best if I try and forgive the idiot. Well, that has yet to happen, but I've found that lately it's been easier to talk with him. Once the Evas were gone, he began changing. Sure he's quieter now, but at least he's not constantly apologizing.  
  
Finally, he steps out of his room, sliding the door shut behind him. We're both sixteen-years-old now and physical change is expected... I'm taller now, my German blood sending my head over the others'. Not to mention that my figure has hit its pinnacle. Misato was kind enough to let me know what a beautiful young lady I've become. Yet, Shinji looks the same. Sure, he's taller, not taller than me, but other than that he's the same. His shoulders and hips so narrow, his waist even narrower.   
  
Sighing, I shake my head, You're making us late!  
  


...........................  


  
We arrive at school just in time, the tardy bell ringing just as I take my seat. A few guy's are watching me and I sit tall, allowing them to get an eyeful of my figure. No, I'm not sleazy or anything, I just know how to boost my own confidence.  
  
Morning, Asuka! You were nearly late again. Hikari says, leaning over to speak quietly, her chestnut pigtails leaning forward with her.  
  
It wasn't _my_ fault. I insist, my nose in the air.  
  
She looks past me, I don't have to follow her gaze to know she's looking at Shinji, He seems so sad today. Her voice is thoughtful, and I almost feel sorry for the idiot, almost.  
  
Ah, he's been moping all weekend.  
  
She was about to say more when all at once she sat up straight. The instructor had stepped into the room. Even though Hikari isn't the class representative anymore, she still behaves like one. Doesn't she know we're in high school now? We're upper class students, we don't have to bow down to our teachers anymore.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:   
  
Class was so dull today. Normally I can at least pay attention, keep focused, but not today.   
  
I can remember so clearly, the thoughts that were running through my mind back then. I was so alone, with no one to call my friend. And then I met _him_...  
  
A rough pat to my should jolts me out of my thoughts, and I look up to see Toji and Kensuke staring down at me, Oh, hey. I say sheepishly, wondering how long I'd been sitting in my desk, the final bell having rung already.  
  
What's with you today? You didn't say a word during lunch and now you're zoning out. Kensuke's words are direct and I don't see anyway around them, and yet, I just can't simply answer a question like that.   
  
Not knowing what to say, I simply mumble, I... I don't know.  
  
Maybe he misses Rei. Toji says rather bluntly, Kensuke quickly elbowing him for such a comment.  
  
True, Rei was still missing, and it did have a bit to do with my sudden melancholy state, but it wasn't the source of it. I never really knew Rei, she was a mystery to me then. I never could figure out why she reminded me so much of my mother or how she managed to survive the Sixteenth Angel's attack. I really cared for her, but she always seemed at arms length. Then, she was gone, having disappeared sometime during the last Angel's attack. The last Angel...  
  
Tears gather and suddenly threaten to spill over, but I won't cry. I can't cry anymore!  
  
Hey, Ikari, I didn't mean... Toji fumbled, thinking he was the cause of my sudden sorrow.   
  
No, it's not your fault. I'm just not feeling myself today. And with that I'm rising from my seat, heading for the exit without a backwards glance. My poor friends, they're really trying to understand, but I can't explain it to them.  
  
Outside I find that Asuka didn't wait up for me. It doesn't bother me though and I decide to take the long way home.  
  


...........................  


  
The water here always seems so beautiful, at any hour. I don't know if it's my mind persuading me or if it's fact.   
  
The many surrounding lakes were becoming quite the attraction now a days. People gather to fish and swim and to simply enjoy the outdoors. It's as if they're all blocking the fact that all these lakes were created by the fighting... Mostly me, fighting the Angels.   
  
And yet, I'm still not sure why I did it or what the Angels even were. Not a single day goes by without that thought. I have many regrets, but none of them compare...  
  
The wind ruffles my hair and I look up at the chunk of debris that still remains here near the shore.  
  
This particular lake doesn't get many visitors and I like to think it's someone's idea of a kindness towards me.   
  
My regret... Why did I have to kill Kaworu?  
  
The instant the name sounds in my brain, my legs lose their strength, and I find myself sitting awkwardly on the ground, my legs crumpled beneath me.  
  
I'm thinking of him so strongly these days, and I don't know why. I don't remember feeling like this since that day, that day I killed the only person that ever loved me.  
  
The tears are free flowing and I don't remember when that happened. My hands come away from my face wet, proof that the tears are real, that I am crying. With that simple truth laid out before my eyes, I find I'm no longer able to hold back... And I'm weeping... Sobbing. My fingers clenched in the sand, my head bent down strangely to rest against my knees.  
  
Surely, my solitude is a kindness.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Where have you been, Asuka? I ask from my seat at the kitchen table.  
  
She looks up at me a bit surprised, her long red locks swinging forward due to her sudden stop, Why are you home so early? She asks, unashamed of being caught.  
  
I only had to work half a day today... Why are _you_ home so late?  
  
Her usual countenance returns, cool, confident, and self assure, Hikari and I stopped by the park. Her answer seems honest enough, and I believe it. I know her and her best friend hang out there a lot, often relaxing on the benches and watching guys. Then I noticed...  
  
Where's Shinji?  
  
The young girl, nearly as tall as myself now, steps into the room, setting her stuff down, He was acting so spacey.  
  
So you just left him? My worry is more than evident in my tone and I think it upsets her.  
  
He knows his way home!  
  
I stare into her bold blue eyes a moment longer, You're right. I say.   
  
She smiles, nodding and going on about how of course she's right. Still, I worry about Shinji.  
  
He'd recovered quite well until the one year anniversary, but even then he'd only been saddened for a single day, easily getting over it. This was the second year anniversary... You'd think it'd be easier, but no... He'd been lying around all weekend, barely eating, mostly sleeping, and hardly speaking.  
  
It wasn't unheard of for him to be late home from school, but it wasn't common either, and especially uncommon when he was in such moods. So, silently, I worried.  
  


...........................  


  
It wasn't until nightfall that I mentioned my distress to Asuka. She seemed a bit concerned, but nothing more.  
  
My anxiety only heightened once I'd called both Kensuke and Toji, both of them swearing that Shinji wasn't there.  
  
Making up my mind, I pulled on some more suitable clothes and left a note on the table (in case he should return during my search.)  
  
Where are you going?  
  
I've got to go look for him. It's not normal for him to be out this late on a school night without calling. I don't bother waiting, I don't have time to argue, but she didn't argue. Instead, she was following me, keeping up as I hurried to my new, white sports car.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I look up for a second, and I'm shocked. When did it get dark? I try sitting up, changing positions, finding my legs totally numb. How many hours have I been sitting her sobbing my heart out? I don't even know.   
  
The tears seem to slow as the beauty of the lake grasps my attention. The moon is hanging low and reflecting fully on the smooth water. It looks like a see of liquid white, almost as pale as _his_ skin.  
  
  
  
I slowly turn, reluctant to take my eyes off the luminous water, and I'm surprised to see Misato running towards me, Asuka in tow, her stride much slower. I hadn't even heard a car pull up.  
  
Shinji? What are you doing here? Misato asks, standing beside me now, looking down at me with relief and pity in her eyes.  
  
I don't know. I answer lamely, not really wanting to talk about it.  
  
She sighs and seems to be waiting for something, Well... Can you get up?  
  
I try to tell my legs to move, but it doesn't even feel like they're there. I shake my head, embarrassed and ashamed. She looks at me, puzzled, before offering me a hand up. After a bit of struggling I'm on my feet, and all three of us are standing there, waiting for the blood to circulate through my limbs.  
  
How could you sit like that for so long? Asuka asks, her tone one of disgust, most likely for my   
  
I don't know, just lost track of time, I guess.  
  
Well, you ready to get home? Misato asks after a few moments of silence.  
  
I stand quiet for at least two more minutes, staring at the sight before me... It really did look to be the exact pallor of _his_ skin. This time I felt the tears come, warm trickles following the tracks of my previous sorrow, and I shake my head.  
  
Asuka seems concerned all of a sudden, but she remains quiet.  
  
Misato smiles at me, taking me by the shoulders and leading me towards the car, even though my answer had been clear.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Shinji, are you sure you're alright?  
  
He nods, wiping at the remnants of his tears like a child. Still, he remains silent.  
  
I can't understand why he was sitting there at that lake for so long, and it's really bothering me. During our ride home, I rack my brain with answers...  
  
Then I remember that day after he defeated the Seventeenth Angel... He and I had been at that very lake. If I remember correctly, in that very spot. His sorrow for the Angel's death, at his hands no less, had been severe. It was beyond me then and still is now. Kaworu was an Angel and had chosen to die.  
  
When Shinji had defeated the thirteenth Angel, who had taken complete control over Unit 03 with Toji Suzuhara trapped inside... When Shinji's hands had been used to severely injure his friend, he'd had a strong reaction... Perhaps the Human form of the Seventeenth Angel was fooling his mind that he'd murdered a Human, a boy like himself.   
  
It was the only reasoning to his sudden depression that I could come up with, Does this have anything to do with what you and I talked about there at that lake so long ago? I speak quietly and calmly, hoping not to shock him with the subject.  
  
A glance to my right and I see that his eyes are watering again, he nods. So, it's as I suspected.  
  
It was an Angel, Shinji, the enemy. I state simply, honestly. I watch as his expression hardens and he turns to look out the window. My heart lightens somewhat, perhaps he just needed reminding.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I'm lying in my bed now, on my back, looking up at the ceiling. The tears stopped once we got home, no, before then... When Misato had said that Kaworu had been the enemy. She means well, I suppose, but my hardened expression had been directed towards her statement, not a new strength within me.   
  
He had not been an enemy, he was my friend, and I miss him.   
  
The past two years feel as if they've passed in a blur. There was so much commotion... The destruction of Nerv and the Evas, the recovery of those involved, and everyone's return... My mind had been so busy, but now everything was slowing to it's original pace.  
  
And I feel lonely.  
  
It's not like before, when I had so much sexual frustration built up within me. I'm not so horny (for lack of a better word) as I was, my hormones seeming to have finally calmed their raging.  
  
Of course, I still find Asuka quite attractive as well as a number of other girls at school, but it's more than that. I yearn for a best friend, a lover, and more than anything, someone who understands me completely.  
  
I roll over on my side, my shirt and shorts becoming a bit binding as I do so. I feel selfish in all this. Surely there are hundreds of other people out there praying for the exact thing, but don't I deserve it. Of everything that I've been through and done, against my will... Isn't it something I deserve?!  
  
My thoughts begin to slow and my eyes will no longer stay open. Within minutes I'm asleep and everything goes black.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
What's wrong with him? It's only nine. How can he go to bed so early? I ask, sitting at the kitchen table and wishing Misato would offer me a beer as well.   
  
You know how he is. She says quietly, as if in respect to his slumber. Since when does she care?  
  
I lean forward, staring hard, No, I don't. It was like he was finally becoming a normal Human being when all of a sudden this starts. You said something to him in the car. Something about the Angels. You know what's wrong with him, don't you?  
  
Yes, I think so. she says, her voice still quiet, her brown eyes cast downward.  
  
Well, are you going to tell me? I ask, my voice smart and rude as I lean back, crossing my arms just under my breasts.  
  
She sighs, setting down her beer, You know how crazy he went after unintentionally hurting Toji, right? I nod and she continues, Well, he thought of the Seventeenth Angel as a Human-  
  
I interrupt, Are you serious?  
  
She ignores me and continues, After destroying it, he was really messed up. It's like all that's coming back.  
  
Why? Why now, after all this time?  
  
She sighs, I don't know.  
  
I'm totally baffled. How could Shinji mourn over an Angel? They were the enemy. Of course, he was always questioning the reasoning behind our destruction of the creatures. So stupid! They were attacking us, the Seventeenth Angel attacked us, and he's crying about it? Stupid.  
  
...........................  
  
To be continued...


	2. Prayer Answered

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Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Hello! I hope you're enjoying! Let me know if there's anything that needs improvement! First person happens to be a difficult thing for me, but I'm trying. Again, please let me know if there's anything that needs imrovement. R & R!  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


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Chapter II: Prayer Answered  
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Kaworu:  
  
And suddenly I am self aware. I'm disoriented for a moment, but then I realize I only exist on a higher plane, my soul all that's left of me.  
  
Slowly memories are restored and I'm quite confused. I was destroyed, how am I here? Angels do not have immortal souls like the Lilim, that gift to them for being Kami's final and perfected beings.  
  
My lack of a body makes me incapable of seeing or hearing, yet I have a sense of being within an endless sea of white noise.  
  
Time is strange and unreadable. Seconds or decades could have passed while I reflected on my time on Earth.   
  
Shinji Ikari. All the brief memories flash through me like a film. My affection towards him had been real, as it still is.   
  
There is a weight on my mind and I feel as if my soul is being pushed into a space, a small space. I sense another soul, a Lilim it seems. Realization hits me... I'm being pushed into a body. Perhaps Kami favors me after all, but the other soul fights hard with youth and endurance.  
  
Joy fills me at this opportunity to return. How I so love the mortal world! The fight is over and the other soul drifts, no doubt to heaven.  
  
As I'm now completely within this new space, I still feel nothing but overjoyed that Kami is granting my only desire.  
  
And then I hear a voice, or rather, a thought, and it's so familiar.  
  
_I feel lonely... yearn for a best friend, a lover, someone who understands me completely... Of everything that I've been through and done, against my will... Isn't it something I deserve?!_  
  
My emotions warm, no, it wasn't a thought, but a prayer. Shinji's prayer. So, Kami isn't giving me a gift after all, and he wanted to make that quite clear. Well, that's okay. If Kami wishes to grant Shinji's prayer, who better to send than the Angel who gave his life so he could live.  
  
I'm disoriented again as sensation rushes upon me. I feel suffocated and cramped, and it takes a while for me to adjust. As I do so, I take in the world around me. The air smells warm and stale, of Human sweat. I'm sitting upon a hard, cool surface, leaning with my back against a similar surface. I can feel the clothes upon me, warm and damp.   
  
Finally, my spirit is finished testing the boundaries in this body, it's capabilities. I'm calmer now and I now open my eyes.   
  
I'm in a large room, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall. It seems to be a bedroom. The walls are a chipped beige, the paint old and peeling. There are four beds, many stained throw carpets, and two windows, both wide open. A gentle breeze caresses tattered curtains as it finds it's way to me, warm against my skin.  
  
There is another in the room with me, a young man. He sits on the bed nearest me, and though he is sitting, I can see that he is tall, not of Japanese descent. He appears to be in his mid twenties, and he is looking at me oddly.  
  
Without word I rise to my feet, using the wall to steady myself as I'm reminded how to do all this.  
  
Little brother?  
  
I'm halfway through the door when I turn and smile to him, and then I'm out of sight and he will never see his little brother again. It doesn't bother me.   
  
It takes me a bit to get completely out of the building, but I manage. The buildings here seem run down, old, worn. I walk down the sidewalk, letting the summer sun warm me further. I like the feeling.  
  
Five buildings later, I come to one in the worst condition yet. Upon entering, I see that it is more crowded than I thought it would be. After a somewhat challenging search, I find a room that is empty, though it's obvious that someone is currently living here. I find my way to a bathroom and relieve myself, enjoying it. Such a small, insignificant thing feels absolutely glorious. Of all the Angels, I'm the closest to the Lilim and I revel in all sensations from blinking taking a piss.  
  
On my way out of the dank little room, I pass a mirror and stop. Looking at my reflection, I'm a bit amazed that it's me. This body is quite similar to its brother's, however, not as tall. Its chin square, large ears, dark skin, and squinted eyes.  
  
Once my sense took notice of the subtle changes, I found myself transfixed. I must have stood there for hours watching as my appearance ever so slowly changed before my eyes. My chin narrowing and pointing, skin losing its pigment, my eyes becoming wider as they transformed from dark brown to ruby red. Even my hair was changing, shortening, turning its once gray/silver color. It was rather amazing.  
  
The clothes upon me, a shabby black T-shirt and a pair of worn, black slacks, became loose as my form narrowed, my height for some reason remaining. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I made my way out of the room and then out of the building.  
  
_I feel lonely._  
  
Shinji. I need to find Shinji, but I have no idea when or where I am. So, I walk and walk. Eventually, I find myself in an even busier section of the city with many classy, intelligent looking people.  
  
My attempts at asking for directions seem hopeless as I'm repeatedly ignored and now and then scoffed upon for my dingy appearance. I also received many odd stares. I even had one young man ask if I was an albino. I couldn't help but chuckle, if they only knew.  
  
Then, I see a woman in moth-eaten clothes pushy a cart filled with odd things, and I approach her, Excuse me, do you know where I might find Shinji Ikari?  
  
She stops and looks me up and down. Seemingly satisfied, she begins talking to me, but her words are strange and I can't understand them. They aren't any language I know.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
I'm enjoying my stroll towards the Government Archive Complex to flirt with a certain violet-haired beauty when I notice an odd looking fellow across the street.  
  
My investigative career, while still necessary, isn't as important as it once was, and I was given the rest of the day off.  
  
Now I find myself staring at what I initially thought was a young woman, but now that I'm closer, I can see that what I thought was a she is in fact a he.  
  
Hey, do I know you? I ask, tapping the young man's shoulder. The homeless woman he was talking with glances at me and then quickly pushes her cart away.  
  
He turns and shock floods me. The Seventeenth Angel. There's no mistaking that pale skin, those red eyes, and that light hair.  
  
What are _you_ doing here? I ask, my fear pushed down as I play it cool, loosening my tie.  
  
He appears confused. He doesn't know me.  
  
Do you know where I might find Shinji Ikari? he asks politely.  
  
I know what you are. What do you want with Shinji? I'm stern now, my manners out the window. This could be dangerous.  
  
He smiles slightly, almost seeming pleased that I recognizes him... No, he's pleased that I know Shinji. Then I remember what Misato had told me of Shinji's distress after destroying the final Angel, and his renewed distress now.  
  
Why are you here? What do you want with Shinji? I repeat, my eyes suspicious.  
  
His smile fades, I must find him.  
  
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't,   
  
He sighs, his head bowing somewhat as he gazes at his bare feet. Then he looks up at me, sad eyes staring at me from beneath his bangs, I must find him. he repeats.  
  
This time I sigh, He's going to freak when he sees you.  
  
The Angel's smile returns as he waits for what he knows know I'm going to give him, He lives with Katsuragi and Asuka in the Furui Section.   
  
His eyes show uncertainty and I realize that he has no clue what I'm talking about. Without words I withdraw one of my business cards and a pen from my jacket. It takes a few minutes, but finally I have drawn him a small map. I hand it to him, careful not to make contact.  
  
Thank you. he says with a smile, turning and beginning his journey. I'm not sure if I've done the right thing, but his intentions seem good.  
  
As I continue on my way to the Archive Complex, I decide that it'd be best to keep this from my lover. Her hatred towards the Angels is still strong even today. It'd be best for her to discover this on her own.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
This time I made certain Shinji was headed straight home before Hikari and I headed for the park. Misato had made it clear that I do so for a while. I feel a slight jealousy in the pit of my stomach, but I try not to concentrate on it.   
  
You know, Asuka, Toji asked me to the Star Festival dance. Hikari says shyly.  
  
But that's nearly a month away! I exclaim, still confused as to what she sees in a dumb jock like that.  
  
Yeah, he said he wanted to make sure some other guy didn't ask me before he had the chance. A few moments pass as she stares down at her feet, smiling and blushing.  
  
Bleh! Hey, Hikari, let's go over to your house. I suggest, though I'm sure it sounded more like a demand.  
  
She looks up at me and smiles, More video games?  
  
I smile too, she knows me so well! I nod and soon enough we're on our way. I'll have plenty of time to beat a couple of levels and be home before Misato.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I came straight home after school, just as Asuka demanded. I wanted so desperately to stop by the lake again, but I would lose track of time and then it would get late and everyone would worry.  
  
So, instead I lie in bed losing track of time. I've had my headphones put up for so long, and now I'm listening to them, to that song. His song.  
  
Small memories play and replay in my mind... That evening in the showers... The night I stayed over at his place... There are so few, and yet they are the most important memories I have. I can't imagine myself without them.  
  
Why do I feel so alone? Why am I so sad? I just regret what I did. If only I hadn't been so worked up, if only I hadn't gotten so angry. Maybe he'd be here today, and I wouldn't be alone.  
  
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of the bell. I sit up, my headphones falling off. Asuka's with Hikari and Misato's at work... Who could it be?  
  
I rise from my bed and pull some pants on over my shorts, pulling at my T-shirt in an attempt to rid it of wrinkles. Then, I make may way down the hall towards the front door.  
  
With the press of a button, the door slides open and I'm utterly shocked. I take a step back and my vision blurs.  
  
A whisper on my lips as I turn my gaze to the floor. Is my wishing and hoping causing me to hallucinate? It can't be, I killed him!  
  
Slowly, I open my eyes and glance over... There, standing just outside the apartment are a pair of bare feet. I let my eyes trail upwards... His pants are worn with holes in the knees, a bit further and I see that his T-shirt's in no better shape, littered with holes, pale flesh peeking through. I squeeze my eyes shut. This can't be real! Sighing deeply, I open them again, his perfect face coming into focus before me.  
  
A question now. I take two steps forward, nearly touching him, when he smiles. It's a bit of a surprise, and I find myself still not believing. I take four steps back, leaning against the wall now, slowly sliding down to the floor as my eyes begin watering up.   
  
The world goes blurry again, and then he speaks, May I come in? His voice is just as I remember it, cool, confident, and polite.  
  
I nod, unable to speak. With one step he's in the hallway with me and the door slides shut.  
  
A... Are you real? I ask, my voice shaky and forced, my gaze remaining on his feet.  
  
He squats down before me and reaches forward, his hand holding my chin, bringing my gaze to his face, Do I feel real?  
  
The tears are unleashed, and I begin sobbing. He takes his hand back and waits. Ten minutes must have passed while we both remained that way, me crying and him waiting.  
  
Eventually, my tears slow and we manage to get to my room. We're sitting on the bed now, not three feet apart. He hasn't disappeared yet and I haven't woke. It really must be real.  
  
I ask, my voice small.  
  
Kami heard your prayer. I am here for you now. He says it so matter-of-factly, turning and smiling at me.  
  
Unable to resist, and oddly feeling bold, I scoot forward, touching the hem of his shirt, careful not to make skin contact, Where did you get these clothes?  
  
They came with the body. His answer makes me look up, a bit surprised and mostly confused.  
  
I came back in someone's body, it slowly changed to make me look like I used to, but it still holds its age, about twenty years.  
  
Where are your shoes? at my question, he crosses his legs, lifting one foot to look at its bottom.  
  
I don't have any.  
  
My eyes go wide, and I jump to my feet. The sole of his foot is completely covered in blisters, Kami... Wait here, I'll get something.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
The smile on my face seems unmovable. He's so adorable. I'd waited while he cried, either out of joy or sorrow, I don't know.  
  
There is a sound in the room I hadn't noticed before. Music? I turn my gaze to the bed and notice his headphones lying there. I lift an ear piece closer, Ode to Joy.  
  
He returns to the room, sees what I've discovered and blushes. How I love that blush.  
  
I... I brought some stuff for your feet. he says, lifting the few items in his arms.  
  
I nod, returning his headphones and pressing the button. He comes closer, looking at me as if he doesn't know what to do. I move completely on to the bed, turning onto my stomach, and bending my legs at the knees so that my feet are up in the air.  
  
Oh, you want me to...? he asks, that blush returning slightly.  
  
I don't answer and he comes even closer.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
His feet really are bad, and I use it to concentrate all my energy there. I couldn't find much, alcohol, ointment, and some gauze. I don't even know what you're supposed to do with blisters. On closer inspection, I can see that just about all of them are open, which is a relief to me, but must hurt like hell.  
  
Um... Th... This is going to sting. I warn as I begin gently cleaning the wounds with the alcohol and some cotton. He doesn't make a sound.  
  
Eventually I'm finished with that and I apply a thick layer of ointment over the soles of his feet. After wrapping his feet with the gauze I step back, There, done.  
  
I watch as he sits up placing his feet on the floor, Thank you.  
  
Oh, here... Maybe you should where these. I suggest, grabbing my slippers and putting them before him.  
  
His voice is soft and I look to him, making eye contact. Those eyes. I lose my balance and gently crumple to the floor, sitting before him.  
  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sobbing again and I can't stop repeating my apology.  
  
Shinji, there is nothing to apologize for.  
  
Just as he finishes speaking I hear the front door open and my eyes go wide, Asuka, If they now you're here... I whisper, looking to him. He doesn't appear to be worried, and yet panic is gripping my heart.  
  
Would you like me to leave? he asks, speaking quietly as well, obviously for my sake.  
  
I nearly shout, No, I just... The apartments on the top level are abandoned... Maybe...  
  
Would you like me to stay there?  
  
Is that okay? If Asuka or Misato find out you're here, it could get bad. I say, warmth rising to my cheeks. What am I even thinking? This is insane! It's a dream, it's all a dream.  
  
He smiles, That would be fine.  
  
I rise and peek out my bedroom door to see that Asuka is no where in sight. I can hear music coming from her room, this is my chance. Without a sound I motion for him to follow me. He rises to his feet, no signs of pain, and comes close, standing just behind me.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I guess I should check to see if Shinji's in his room. I sigh as I slide my bedroom door open, and just as I do, I hear the front door open and close. Misato must be home.  
  
Shinji's room is empty, he's not here. Great, just great. Now Misato's going to want to go on another search. Stupid Shinji! I bet he's doing all this for attention! A pang in my heart tells me I'm lying. Deep down I know he's not the type to do something so low... It's something I would do.   
  
I take a deep breath and shake my head. This isn't something I want to be thinking about!   
  
Poor Shinji. Underneath my hard shell I feel sorry for him. The dope.  
  
I sigh again and head to the kitchen to greet Misato, only she's not there. I look around the apartment to find that she's not even here. Confused, I check the time. Misato's not supposed to be home for another thirty minutes.   
  
Then who...?  
  
I shrug it off, maybe Shinji was here after all. But then, where did he go?  
  
Oh well. It's none of my business. I return to my room and to my music, the latest in J-pop... This stuff really is pretty good.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
I follow Shinji on feet that are beginning to feel... Strange. We take an elevator in silence. Upon arriving at the top level, I take a look around. No wonder it's abandoned. There's a huge hole in the ceiling and I can see the sky, which is beginning to darken.  
  
There's one apartment up here that's not so bad. I come here sometimes to get away from everyone and be alone. he says as we enter said apartment. He's right. It's not nearly as damaged as the rest of the level, though there is still a section in the living room ceiling about four by four feet in which I can see the sky. I kind of like it.  
  
You still don't like dealing with people? I ask. He only blushes.  
  
There are still a number of furnishings. A couch in the living room as well as a lamp. One bedroom still has a bed. There's a table in the kitchen. Other than that it's fairly empty.  
  
He's standing there like he doesn't know what else to do or say, It still locks, but there's no key. So you can't lock it when you leave.  
  
Shinji, sit with me? I request as I take a seat on the couch.  
  
He blushes, doing as I asked, I can't believe all this is happening. he says.  
  
I scoot closer, placing a hand on his warm cheek, turning his gaze to me. His eyes are so blue, like the deepest depths of the ocean, Can I kiss you? I ask.  
  
His cheeks burn red and he closes his eyes as he nods.  
  
I smile and lean forward, using my feet to push closer. Suddenly, I pull back, hissing in pain.  
  
His eyes go wide, What's wrong?  
  
My feet. I say as I position them to where there's no pressure on their injuries.  
  
But... You walked all the way up here... he says, confused.  
  
It's like I'm slowly beginning to feel again. At first I could sense temperatures, now I can sense pain, and I'm beginning to feel the stirring of my insides.  
  
Are... Are you becoming Human? he looks hopeful.  
  
I chuckle, No, Shinji, I will never be Human, but this body is Human, and I'm beginning to understand it like I could my other one.  
  
A few moments pass and suddenly he is blushing again, You... You were going to...  
  
I can feel my face pull into a wide smile as I lean forward again. His lips are warm against mine. How I love this warmth. It's a brief, chaste kiss and I pull back unsatisfied, but there's no need to rush.  
  
His eyes remain shut and I watch as his tongue sneaks out to lick his lips. I wonder how I taste to him.  
  
Misato's going to be home soon. I should get back. he says it with his eyes down cast  
  
Am I to stay here?  
  
He swallows and I watch, amazed with the way his throat moves, It's probably a good idea. At least until I figure out what to do.  
  
I look at him puzzled, and he continues, If anyone knows there's an Angel here... he pauses as if imagining horrible things, They could kill you.  
  
I'm not afraid of death. I say, speaking truthfully.  
  
Yeah... But I am. I don't think I could handle... That again. his voice is barely above a whisper.  
  
We remain silent for a few more moments, Are you hungry? he asks.  
  
I think about it and realize that I am. I am beginning to feel a slight churning in my belly. I nod, Yes, I believe I am.  
  
He rises, I'll bring some food up here. Just... Just stay here, okay? he says it with a pleading in his eyes.  
  
I nod again. I will do as he likes. I am his gift after all, the answer to is prayer. It's like I carry a deep sense within myself... I am his.  
  
He smiles slightly and turns to leave. I reach out rather quickly, taking hold of his wrist. He is surprised, but the expressions smooths, I'm going to lock the door for you. I'll be back.   
  
I nod and reluctantly let go of his wrist. He leaves and I'm left with a sensation on my fingertips... I can still feel his rapid pulse, like a butterfly beating against my hand. It fades and I'm left waiting.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I step into the kitchen. Misato's not home yet and Asuka's still in her room. I take a seat at the table and let my forehead rest against its cool surface.  
  
What is going on? It's so unbelievable. He's back, just like that.   
  
_Kami heard your prayer. I am here for you now._  
  
Kami? I was never even sure I believed. Why was _my_ prayer answered? Was it answered? Is all this real? No, it can't be. I remember so clearly. We were in Terminal Dogma... I'd been so angry, mostly with my father. Then, Kaworu turned out to be an Angel. I felt so betrayed, so angry and betrayed, again, mostly with my father. I wasn't thinking, I didn't realize. Then he told me to kill him, that I should live. Why couldn't we have both lived?   
  
If it was so impossible then... If it's true that Humans and Angels can't coexist, then how is it going to be possible this time? Is this someone's idea of a cruel twist on my life? I can't handle losing him again.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
It's quiet when I get home, as it has been lately, I'm home! I call out, heading down the hallway, heading for my room in order to get into some more comfortable clothes. I step into the kitchen and stop in my tracks. Shinji is sitting there, his head resting on the table.   
  
he doesn't respond and I step closer.  
  
I say again, placing my hand on his shoulder.  
  
He scares the shit out of me as he snaps back into reality, jumping up in his seat. I take a seat and watch as he calms down.  
  
Shinji, you've got to talk to me. I say flatly, but he just shakes his head and remains quiet.  
  
What's going on? Asuka asks as she enters the kitchen wearing a pastel yellow tank top and a pair of blue shorts.  
  
Did you two come home together? I ask, watching has the red-haired beauty takes a seat across from me.  
  
She looks a bit confused, No, but I told him I was going with Hikari... I told him to come straight home. Why? What'd you do? she directs the last at Shinji, but he still remains quiet.  
  
Was he home when you got home?  
  
She looks a bit annoyed, but she complies and answers, Yeah, well, I didn't see him, but his shoes were in the hall. Then I heard him leave. Did you just get back? Again the last is directed to Shinji.  
  
Shinji, you've got to talk to me. What am I supposed to think? I say, watching him closely.  
  
He looks up, wipes at his eyes, Nothing. Just don't worry about me. I'm okay.  
  
My eyes go soft and I look at him directly, Please, you've got to talk to me. Don't you know, an answer like that makes me worry even more.  
  
His face hardens and he seems to have made a decision. He rises from his seat, I can't tell you. Just don't worry. and with that he's heading to his room.  
  
What's going on?! Asuka demands.  
  
I sigh, Something's happening with him. I don't know why he thinks he can't talk to me.  
  
Maybe because he's nuts. she mumbles, and I let it slide. She's come so far. The last thing she needs to think is that I favor Shinji over her... Even though it's true.  
  


...........................  


  
It was Shinji's turn to cook and he did an amazing job. Asuka and I were both impressed.  
  
Now we sit at the table, our bowls clean and our stomachs sated. Without a word, Shinji rises and begins preparing what I can only assume is a lunch. Once he's finished, he steps over, I'm going to take this down the hall, okay? I'll be right back.  
  
Before I can even answer he's out the door.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	3. My Heart of Glass

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Hello! I hope you're enjoying! First person happens to be a difficult thing for me, but I'm trying. Please let me know if there's anything that needs imrovement. R & R!  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter III: My Heart of Glass  
...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
I'm feeling rather bored. It's my first night back. I want to do things, experience Human things. How I missed it all, and here I am sitting on a couch doing nothing. It is as Shinji wants though, and so I remain. My feet ache with a pain that isn't near severe but new to me. The hole in the ceiling pleases me and I take advantage of it as I stare out at the dark sky and the shimmering stars.  
  
There's a knock at the door and I carefully make my way over. It takes a bit of time, but the result is worth it as Shinji stands before me.  
  
I brought you some supper. Are your feet okay? he asks shyly as he enters, closing and locking the door behind him. I move to get closer, perhaps touch him, but I stumble on my aching feet and nearly topple over. He takes hold of my arm and steadies me.  
  
On the couch, he hands me a box. As I open it, smelling the sweet steam that wafts up, my stomach churns loudly and I'm reminded of hunger.  
  
He sits quietly, watching me as I eat. When I'm finally finished, I set the box aside, Thank you, Shinji, that was delicious.  
  
He smiles, blushing, How are your feet?  
  
I lean back, lifting my feet up and resting them in his lap. His cheeks are beet red as he unwraps the bandages and peeks at my wounds.  
  
Sighing, They're still really red. Then he reapplies the bandages.  
  
They'll be better tomorrow, after a night's sleep. I say, watching as he nods.  
  
D... Do you want me to help you to bed?   
  
I say, and then he's helping me up and walking me to the bedroom. Once seated on the bed, I'm left, but he returns soon, with the lamp in hand.  
  
he says after plugging it in and switching it on.  
  
Shinji, aren't there some things you want to ask me? a few moments pass and he remains there by the shade-less lamp, Come, sit   
here with me.  
  
He does so, I thought Humans and Angels couldn't coexist.  
  
True, but I am the exception... Now that I am within a true Human body. Plus, Kami has permitted this.  
  
What if they find out about you and force me to... his sentence trails off and I know what he's afraid to say.  
  
  
  
Nerv... Or someone like them. he answers, his voice becoming quieter and quieter.  
  
Would you really kill me again? I ask, leaning down somewhat in order to look him in the eyes.  
  
He turns towards me sharply, Of course not! But last time... I was so angry... And you had told me to... he's weeping now and I can't help but smile. I open my arms and he leans into them. It feels right holding him this way. His hair, the color of dark chocolate, is soft against my cheek and I breath deep of it.  
  
I will never ask you to do something like that again. Don't worry. Now is for us. I say, rubbing his back in a soothing manner.  
  
He pulls back somewhat, You promise?  
  
I smile at him and nod slightly.  
  
I'm sorry... I'm so sorry for what I did. he breaks down again, and I hold him again.  
  
Shh... It's okay. You did nothing wrong, but if you need to hear it... I forgive you.  
  
He pulls back again and nods.  
  
My heart of glass. I whisper, leaning forward for another kiss. He complies instantly, allowing me to worship his lips. I draw my arms around him again but this time in an embrace. I can feel the heat building in him as he moves to wrap his arms around me as well. Our mouths move slowly and I push my tongue forward. Again, he complies and suddenly the kiss has transformed into something much deeper.   
  
He pulls back breathless, I... I can't. He whispers.  
  
I nod and remind myself to move even slower next time.   
  
I have to go. I'll come back tomorrow. And with that he's leaving. I hear the door shut behind him.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
What's wrong with him!? Asuka whines. She and I are walking the halls looking for Shinji. He left so suddenly, but he'd said he was just going down the hall. Who could possibly need supper out here? Even though our apartment building was in the Furui Section, it was near many major businesses. Most of the tenants were fairly wealthy, and the rest, like us, managed.  
  
This is stupid. she complains, hands on hips as she approaches me.  
  
I sigh, I know, but what else can we do? We have to find him.  
  
Why is he taking strangers supper anyway? she mutters, crossing her arms.  
  
Just as I was about to suggest we go looking by that lake again, the elevator bell sounds and the doors open to reveal Shinji. He doesn't see us yet and I take note of his beet red cheeks.  
  
And where have you been? Don't you know we've been looking all over for you? Asuka nearly shouts, her anger boiling.  
  
He looks up startled and starts over, I... I'm sorry.  
  
I think Asuka expected me to scold him, but I don't see how that will help at all. I want him to talk to me, tell me what's wrong.  
  
Once we arrive home again, Asuka huffed and went straight to her room, slamming the door behind her. Shinji headed for his room as well, and I followed. When I got to his door, he was already in bed, turned away from me.   
  
my voice is soft and careful as I step into the room. He always did keep neat and clean. Odd for a boy.   
  
I take a seat at the end of his bed, near his feet, Shinji, please... You can tell me. And then I wait.   
  
Ten minutes must have passed before he spoke, I think I did something wrong. it's practically a whisper and I have to pay close attention.  
  
If you tell me, I can help. I won't get mad. I try to be soothing and I reach out to touch his leg. Hair? Since when had Shinji had leg hair? I take a closer look. No doubt, baby fine hairs nearly blonde in color litter his limbs. My Shinji's growing up.  
  
He pulls away from my touch, I... I kissed someone.  
  
My eyes go wide. That's not what I had expected. Thinking about it, I remember how red his face had been when he'd gotten out of the elevator. Ha, no wonder!  
  
It's not wrong to kiss someone, as long as they're willing. I say, a smile on my face.  
  
He turns his head to look at me, I just want to go to sleep, Misato. he whispers. I want him to talk more, but I let it go. At least he said something. I nod and rise, leaving him to his slumber.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I can't believe I told her that! How embarrassing. Now she must think I'm a pervert. Well, at least it keeps her from thinking anything else. She absolutely cannot find out about Kaworu.  
  
What am I thinking? It doesn't matter if Misato thinks I'm a pervert, because I am! How disgusted would she and Asuka be if they knew how I feel! Kami, when Kaworu had kissed me like that... Such thoughts ran through my head!  
  
I have to clench my eyes shut even now! Just remembering stirs me. The way he had pulled me close, covering my lips with his own... His tongue slipping into my mouth... Nnn...  
  
It's too much and I'm giving in to my urges. Disgusting.  
  
Some minutes later and I'm lying here a shameful mess. Not only am I a pervert, but I'm a faggot too. If only Misato knew what kind of person I am. She'd be rid of me in a heartbeat, and Asuka would be there cheering her on.   
  
I've never been attracted to anyone, male or female, the way I am to Kaworu. He's the first and only person to tell me he loves me, and now that he's back, I'm beginning to think of nothing except experiencing that love.  
  
I'm too lazy to clean myself up, I just want to lie here and think.   
  
What's wrong with me? Here I am worrying over sex when the bigger problem is so much more impossible. Set aside the fact that he's male, he's an Angel. Even if we managed a way to be together, Misato and Asuka would tell my father and then all of Nerv would re-sprout to destroy him. Or even worse, they'd force me to do it, again.  
  
It's so insanely confusing and impossible that I find tears in my eyes again. Such a baby! I have to stop whining... Stop running away! I have to think of something. There _must_ be a way.  
  
My mind has experienced too much though and within minutes I'm asleep.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I watch in amusement as Shinji passes, his sheets in his arms. Another wet dream, little boy? It's so hilarious, but I pretend I don't know and keep quiet. He's such a sensitive little worm, if I make fun of him about something like this, he'd probably kill me or more likely, kill himself.  
  
Finally finished with his little chore, he comes and sits with me at the table. Our breakfast is often fast food. I'm eating toaster pastries while he's making instant ramen.  
  
Aren't you making too much?  
  
He doesn't even look at me, just shakes his head.  
  
What's wrong with you all of a sudden? when he doesn't answer, I go on, Misato told me how you thought of the Seventeenth Angel as Human. Are you freaking out because you think you killed a person?  
  
That got his attention, Asuka, when I... I did kill a person.  
  
You know that's not true. He had an AT field... The pattern was blue, remember? I mean, weren't you even there? He was most definitely an Angel. I rant, all the while watching as he sits down across from me and begins eating.  
  
It's all he says and it irritates me. Then, I notice that he made another lunch other than his and mine.  
  
Who's that for? I ask, gesturing to the extra box.  
  
He remains silent, but I can see he's nervous, Another meal for your little friend down the hall?' I taunt, winking at him.  
  
I'm through. he says, rising from his seat and heading to his room to get dressed for school.  
  
I nearly growl in annoyance. How annoying!  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Go straight home this time, okay? And don't go wondering around the building, okay? Asuka's words are rude, but they don't hurt me. Their sting stopped a long time ago. I nod and start towards home. I hear her mutter something to Hikari about me, but I just keep walking, just as she told me to. As soon as I turn a corner, out of her sight, I begin running. To have enough time, I need to get home fast.  
  
I go straight to the top floor and Kaworu is waiting for me there, We better hurry. I say. He nods and simply follows me to the apartment.  
  
Once inside, I lock the door using the bolt, just in case Asuka or Misato come home early. I offer him a seat at the table and he graciously accepts, so polite. I then hurry off, preparing a bath. I set the water to warm and then I'm off to find him some clean clothes.  
  
I'm in my room digging through my drawers when he enters, Do you mind wearing some of my clothes? I ask, finally finding everything.  
  
He smiles, Not at all.  
  
I blush, Well, the bath should be ready. I say, walking by and lead him to the washroom.  
  
Here's some soap and shampoo- I begin, but stop when he begins removing his shirt.  
  
Should I leave? I ask, my face feeling as if it's on fire. I don't really give him a chance to answer and begin to go around him and escape, however, his words stop me.  
  
No, please stay. His voice is calm, how can he be so composed? I remain where I'm standing, my back to him, allowing him to undress. I slowly turn when I hear the sounds of water, him entering the bath.  
  
Would you like to join me? he asks, looking at me with his big eyes and wide smile. It's hard to resist, but I must. I shake my head, trying to keep my gaze on anything but him.  
  
As he begins lathering up, I notice his dirty clothes on the floor. In an attempt to distract myself, I gather them up and place them in the garbage.   
  
Would you mind...? he asks, just as I finish my task. I turn, he's holding the shampoo out to me.  
  
Y... You want me to wash your hair? He nods and I swallow the lump in my throat as I step forward, kneeling beside the tub. He turns, his back facing me, and I apply a generous amount of the blueberry scented product. I don't know why Misato buys such strange shampoos.  
  
His hair is so fine between my fingers and such a light color. Like a light gray, almost silver. He leans his head back slightly, into my touch. If only he knew what I was thinking. He'd be revolted.  
  
I'm trying so hard... To keep my eyes away from the water, its level just above his navel. I shake my head and concentrate on the job at hand.  
  
Eventually I'm finished and he's rinsed. I turn again as he dries and dresses.  
  
he says when he's finished.   
  
I turn, I guess they're a little small, but they're better than what you were wearing. He's wearing one of my school outfits, white dress shirt and black slacks.  
  
I guess you need some socks and shoes too. I say, heading for my room again. He follows, still rubbing his hair with a towel.  
  
Thank you, he says, after putting on my white tennis shoes, My feet are feeling much better now.  
  
Kaworu... What are we going to do? I ask, looking down at the floor.  
  
Be together.  
  
I look up, he's smiling, Be together?  
  
Hai, we can be together now.  
  
I'm not sure what exactly he means, and either way it makes me blush, But... But what if they find out about you? I don't think I could take it if I lost you again. I'm crying now and I feel like such a child.  
  
I've been trying to think of a way all day. I whisper, my tears slowing as he nears, placing a hand on my back.  
  
A way? he asks.  
  
To tell Misato.  
  
Don't worry, she will understand in time. his words are comforting, but he doesn't understand.  
  
But if my father finds out... the tears are threatening to spill forth again.  
  
There's much fear in you. There will always be risks, but do not live by your fear of them. Trust in hope and goodness. Let me be with you. I know how much you care.  
  
And the tears are flowing, A whisper as I lean into him, letting him wrap his arms around me for the second time. He's right. I can't keep running away no matter how afraid I am. We need to take advantage of the time we have.  
  
You're right. I'm sorry. I whisper into his ear, letting my arms snake around his waist. And then he's kicking off the shoes he just put on. I look at him questioningly.  
  
Let me lie with you. he says, completely serious as he lies back in my bed, motioning for me to do so as well. I blush, but comply.  
  
He moves closer, the length of his body pressed against mine, I could stay like this forever. he whispers, resting a hand on my stomach.  
  


...........................  


  
To be continued...


	4. Don't Let Go

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Hiya! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews. ^_^ This chapter's slightly longer... Enjoy! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter IV: Don't Let Go  
...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
I have two bags of groceries balanced in my arms as I reach the front door, but it won't open. What the hell? It's bolt locked? I ring the bell, my eyebrows drawn together in anger as I wait impatiently.   
  
As I'm waiting, Asuka approaches, What are you doing? she asks, looking at me like I'm retarded.  
  
The door's bolt locked. I state plainly.  
  
she asks, coming over and trying it for herself. Then she begins assaulting the doorbell, repeatedly pressing it and holding it down.  
  
I'm coming! it's Shinji's voice from inside.  
  
The door slides open and he's standing there with a smile on his face, Ah, sorry about that.  
  
Why the hell did you do that? Asuka complains, pushing her way past him and into the apartment.  
  
He just shrugs, I don't know. Misato, need help? I allow him to take a bag and we all step into the kitchen.  
  
You're in a good mood. Asuka mutters as she puts her stuff away. Shinji simply remains quiet.  
  
Where were you Asuka? Out late again with Hikari? The least you could do is get home before I do. I lecture, watching as she narrows her eyes at me.  
  
Whatever. Tell me when supper's ready. And with that she's in her room, the door slammed behind her.  
  
She's right you know, you are in a good mood. Something happen? I ask as Shinji helps me put the groceries away.  
  
He nods,   
  
I can't help but grin, So, who is she?  
  
He looks a bit startled,   
  
The girl you kissed. I say, reminding him. I can see it on his face as it dawns on him what I'm talking about, and he blushes.  
  
Ah, no one. And soon he's retreating to his room as well.  
  
These kids! The older they get, the more privacy they want. I guess I can't blame them. Still, Shinji has a girlfriend! I can't wait to meet her. I bet Asuka will be jealous. I chuckle as I begin supper.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
He returns, closes the door and sighs. I can't help but smile at his humanity. I love the way he moves and thinks and reacts.   
  
I'm still lying on the bed, just as he left me, and I motion him over. He's so warm in my arms, much warmer than myself. I move onto my side and lean over him, brushing his hair back off his face. There's a bit of sweat there at his hairline and I run my fingers through it into his hair. His cheeks are so flushed. I lean closer... But he stops me, shaking his head, his eyes closed. I comply, and back off a little, but remain looking down at him.  
  
Eventually, he opens his eyes and lets out a breath I don't think he knew he was holding. His eyes reflect gratitude. My Shinji, he's not ready, but I can wait. I can wait forever.  
  


...........................  


  
Hikari:  
  
Asuka, you're really going to get in trouble one of these days. I warn, watching as my best friend struts into the room, sitting just as the bell sounds.  
  
How come Shinji's always here on time, but you're not? I ask, watching as she flips her long red hair back over her shoulders.  
  
How should I know? He's such a goody goody.  
  
Well, at least he's feeling better. He was so down last week. I whisper, honestly worried about my classmate. After all, Shinji's one of Toji's best friends.  
  
Ah, he's still acting weird though. Hides out in his room all the time. then she lowers her voice and leans close, I think he's discovered masturbation. And she busts out in a fit of giggles.  
  
I'm shocked and blushing. That's personal! I don't want to know that!  
  
You're so mean. I whisper as she calms.  
  
I'm just kidding. Who knows what's wrong with him though. Misato said something about him having a girlfriend.  
  
I ask, interested.  
  
Yeah, but I'm sure she's wrong. I mean, this _is_ Shinji we're talking about here. Mr. People Person.  
  
I roll my eyes at her, You really are mean. She only grins in response. I was about to say more, but the instructor stepped into the room. Time for class.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
It's Sunday afternoon and Kaworu and I are walking down one of the many shopping streets in the Shin Section of the city.  
  
It's been a little more than two weeks since he showed up at my door, and yet, no one knows anything.  
  
While everyone's out, at school and work, he roams around the apartment, making himself lunch, reading, watching TV, showering, and such. When I get home, he comes to my room with me and we remain there, talking or holding one another. I've grown accustomed to sleeping beside him. It's nice to have someone special.  
  
And yet, I still find myself frustrated. I want him so much, and he's shown numerous times that he wants to take it further with me. But... It just doesn't seem right. I don't know anyone in a same sex relationship. I don't have anyone to talk about this with, and that's what I need most right now, advice.  
  
Still, Kaworu is patient with me and never gets angry. He said to trust in hope and goodness. Maybe this will all work itself out.  
  
Kaworu takes hold of my hand, Would you like to go in there? he asks, pointing to a small cafe across the street.  
  
I say, as we carefully cross the street, our hands still joined. I'm a bit embarrassed, but I want to show him that I'm not afraid of what people think, even though I am.  
  
We find a small table near a window and soon enough our drinks are brought to us. I've noticed his tastes run towards hot foods and drinks. Our hands upon the table still hold one another and I notice a few people staring. Two teenage boys holding hands? I blush, turning my gaze out the window.  
  
If it bothers you, I can let go. he says, taking a sip from his foam cup.  
  
No. I... I'm just getting used to it. Don't let go. He smiles at me and nods, taking another sip.  
  
Still worry what people think of you?   
  
He knows me so well. I simply nod.  
  
It's your imperfections I love the best. he says, lifting my hand to his lips, giving it a chaste kiss.  
  
A small group of teenagers in a corner not far from us are laughing. One of them is looking right at us and two others are acting out our little scene. I look away.  
  
Do you want to look around some more? I ask, never pulling away from him.  
  
Hai, anywhere special you want to go? He asks as we rise from our seats, taking our drinks with us.  
  
I think about it as we exit the cafe, There's an Entertainment Mega Store on the next street, I think.  
  
He smiles, Okay then.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
I can't believe I had to work today! Lousy job, and so boring!  
  
I step into the apartment relieved to be home. Asuka's stretched out on the living room floor watching something on TV. I take a seat on the couch and moments later Shinji enters the room and takes a seat beside me.  
  
I'm surprised you two aren't still out. I say sarcastically, since lately I've been having trouble getting them to come at a decent hour.  
  
They ignore me, so I change the subject, I heard your school was having a Star Festival dance. Are either of you going?  
  
Yeah, probably. Toji asked Hikari. Asuka says, never taking her eyes off the TV.  
  
Are you going, Shinji? I ask, turning my attention to him.  
  
Um... I don't know. Maybe.  
  
You going to ask your girlfriend? I tease, sipping at a beer.  
  
He remains quiet, and Asuka pipes up, Who is this mystery girl anyway? You're going out on the weekends now, staying out later... How come you haven't brought her here?  
  
Yeah, I'd like to meet her, I add, You don't have to worry. It's totally normal for a boy your age to have a girlfriend.  
  
Still he remains quiet.  
  
The silence presses on, and Asuka surprises me when she suddenly sits up and switches the TV off, What a stupid show! I'm going to bed. And with that she's marching out of the room.  
  
Once it's sure that she's gone to bed, Shinji speaks up,   
  
I say through another sip.  
  
Can I talk to you about something? he asks, his voice quiet as if to prevent anyone else from hearing.  
  
Of course, Shinji. I say quickly, respecting his privacy and speaking quietly as well.  
  
There is someone I like... he pauses.  
  
  
  
He visibly swallows, But it's not a girl.  
  
My eyes go wide, What do you mean?  
  
I'm kind of... Seeing this guy. his voice is barely a whisper and he looks down, avoiding my reaction.  
  
After getting over my initial shock, I smile, Don't be embarrassed. You feel how you feel, right?  
  
He looks up then, a little surprised by my answer I think, You don't think it's wrong? he asks.  
  
No, I don't think it's wrong, but it's different, and people can be mean. Just be careful.  
  
He nods, There's something else... I... I'm sorry, but I don't know who else to talk about this with. Poor thing, he's so embarrassed, I'd go so far as to say humiliated.  
  
Don't worry. You can tell me. I say comfortingly.  
  
Do you think it's wrong for... For two guys to have sex? He barely gets it out, nearly turned completely away from me.  
  
I can't hide my shock, How long have you known this boy?  
  
A long time. he whispers.  
  
I sigh, trying to be honest, I don't think it's wrong, but you're awfully young, Shinji. Maybe you should wait.  
  
He remains quiet and I take that for a no, Well, if you're going to do it, I say, picking up my purse and rummaging through it, You might as well be safe. and I hand him a condom. His cheeks are burning red, but he takes it.  
  
But... But what if I'm not good? He says, staring at the purple condom I handed him.  
  
I smile, Don't worry. As long as you're both ready, it will be good. With that I rise from my seat and head to the kitchen. What I need right now is a few more beers. Maybe a case.  
  
Good night, Misato. Thank you. he calls after me and I can hear him heading to his room.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Okay. I'm not so worried about sex now, actually, I'm anxious. But I don't want to do it at the apartment. Now that I know I'm ready, I want to do it somewhere special.  
  
All of this is running through my head while I lie beside him. It's been several days since my talk with Misato, and she helped more than she can know.  
  
Don't you have school tomorrow? he asks, taking my hand in his own, looking at it as if it were the first time.  
  
I say simply, watching his sudden interest in my hand, testing my fingers' flexibility.  
  
Are you going to want to go out again this weekend? he looks up at me now, his crimson eyes smiling at me.  
  
This weekend? Wasn't something happening this weekend? And then I remember... The Star Festival dance!  
  
W... Would you like to go to the school dance with me? I ask shyly, the back of my mind reminding me of that little thing called rejection.  
  
He sits up on his elbows, Of course. His voice is smooth and happy and it shuns rejection back into the dark.  
  
Kiss me again? I ask, my voice so small and quiet.  
  
He just smiles though, that smile I love, so wide and true. His lips are more sure than my own, as if he knows what he's doing, or maybe, it's just that he isn't scared or hesitant, just sure of himself and of me. So much confidence, I wish I were more like that.  
  
He pulls back, that smile still there, What are you thinking about?  
  
I've decided... I... I'm ready. I whisper, watching carefully for his reaction. His eyes go soft and he leans forward.  
  
If you were never ready, I'd still want to be with you. His words really reach inside me and I lift my hand up to touch his face.  
  
Don't worry, I'm really ready. H... How about after the dance? I ask, feeling a little silly to be planning such a thing.  
  
He nods, Whatever you're comfortable with. It doesn't matter when or where to me.  
  
I'm blushing now, It's just that... It'll be my first time...  
  
With me? He's a little confused, but keeps his cool.  
  
With anyone, and... I... I just want it to be special. Not here. I explain, my cheeks surely beet red.  
  
His smile returns, I see. He pulls me close, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of my T-shirt. His lips grace my face, my forehead, eyes, nose, and finally my lips. He is so good at everything he does. From kissing me to walking around the apartment. His every movement seems liquid. I'm not sure I could ever be satisfied.  
  
...........................  
  
To be continued...  
  
...........................  
  
^_^ Hope you guys enjoyed. And again, thank you for ALL the lovely reviews. They're nothing but encouragement. ^_^


	5. Make Love To Me

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Hello, hello! I've finished my Dragon Ball Z fic, so my full attention is on this fic now. ^_^ Enjoy!  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter V: Make Love To Me  
...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
The night of the big event has arrived and everyone's in their rooms getting ready. I have a date as well. No! I'm not going to some silly school dance! I have a date with Kaji. I'm beaming as I too head to my room to prepare.  
  
It doesn't take as long as you'd think and soon I'm waiting for them. I smooth my jacket with my hands. It's a new dress, a deep maroon with a black, short-waisted jacket. He'll like it.   
  
Asuka steps into the room, Did you ever find a date? I ask, noticing that she looks rather lovely.  
  
She pulls at her knee-length formal, Yeah, with some med. student. Her dress is amazing, and I can't remember ever seeing it before. Shows how much I pay attention. It's sleeveless, the waist sewed just beneath her breasts. I don't think I've ever seeing her in such a stunning shade of purple, it suits her.  
  
Is Shinji ready yet? I ask, glancing at my watch.  
  
He says he got started late, that we should leave without him. She explains, shrugging.  
  
Well, let me go tell him we're going then. I say, heading down the hall.  
  
I call, about ready to slide his door open.  
  
Ah, Misato! I'm still changing. he calls in a rushed tone.  
  
I nearly laugh, Oh, sorry. I just wanted to let you know... We're going. You'll make it there okay?  
  
Yeah, I'll just walk.  
  
Okay, see you later then. I call, turning to go.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I sigh, thankful Kaworu wasn't discovered. He and I are sitting on the bed, waiting for Misato and Asuka to leave. It doesn't take long, and I exit my room as soon as I hear the front door close.  
  
Kaworu follows me, You're still worried. he says plainly.  
  
I shrug, I can't help it. I watch him for a few moments, he seems to be thinking about me, looking at me with an expression of thoughtfulness. Then he smiles and I feel better.  
  
So, are you ready to go? I ask, glancing in the mirror once more. We're both wearing black suit jackets, slacks, and shoes with white dress shirts. Kaworu looks so good, the way he leaves the top two buttons undone, his pale flesh peeking out. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath.  
  
Yes, let's go. He says, watching me for a reaction. I nod and we're on our way.  
  
The walk to school isn't a very long one, only about four blocks. Before long the building comes into view. We're headed for the gym, behind the school. The entrance is decorated in streamers and balloons and a huge banner is stretched high above the doors, reading,   
  
I notice a sign on the door, Students only. Have your student ID ready. Reaching into my back pocket, I retrieve the small card. The doors are heavy and we push through. The gym inside is hardly recognizable. It's dim and the walls seem to be lined with some kind of black sheet-like material. Stars are painted upon the material, tiny white dots littering the walls. It's as if we've stepped into space.  
  
Hey, let me see your ID.  
  
I snap back to reality, blushing as I hand one of my fellow students the card in question. She's sitting behind a table with another girl. They find my name on a list and put a check mark next to it.  
  
May I see your ID? the other girl asks, speaking to Kaworu.  
  
Uh, he's not a student here. He's, uh... He's with me. I say, feeling rather awkward.  
  
The girl's eyes widen somewhat, Your date? she asks, looking back and forth between us.  
  
I nod.  
  
Well, what's your name? I have to write all non-students' names down. the other girl asks, seeming to have recovered much quicker than her friend.  
  
Kaworu Nagisa. my answers. We wait until she's finished writing and hands me back my ID card before moving on. One wall is lined with three rows of chairs, many of them filled. Another wall is lined with tables, students standing behind them, offering free punch and deserts. There is a sound man positioned in the center of a long wall, many decorations above and around him. The music is loud and nearly annoying, but I still find myself excited and even a bit anxious.  
  
What's all that? Kaworu asks as we approach a bamboo tree placed against one of the short walls. There are colored little pieces of paper taped to the wall all around the tree, some taped right onto the tree.  
  
Don't you know what Tanabata is? he shakes his head and I continue, It's the Star Festival. Today, July seventh, two stars that are usually separated from each other by the milky way, come together. During the night, people hang papers on a bamboo tree with wishes written on them, hoping they'll come true. I explain. He watches me the entire time, really listening, taking in my words and their meaning.  
  
He turns and looks at all the papers once I'm finished, Altair and Vega.  
  
I ask, confused.  
  
The stars... They are Altair and Vega. I didn't know the Lilim celebrated their night.  
  
I smile, lifting a blank piece of paper from a pile on the floor, offering it to him, Would you like to make a wish?  
  
He smiles, nodding. It takes only a few moments as we each write a wish on a piece of paper. We then find space on the littered tree, securing our wishes with tape.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I'm really surprised when I see Shinji near the Tanabata tree. I watch as he and another fellow make their way to the chairs, taking a seat. I'd thought that he'd lost his nerve to come, but I guess I was wrong.  
  
Here, got you some punch. My date says as he returns from the refreshments table. He's cute enough, tall, nice, light-brown eyes, but he's dull beyond belief. Still, I smile and say thank you.  
  
Hey, have you seen that guy and Shinji? Hikari says, her and Toji suddenly approaching.  
  
Yeah, just now. I say, glancing over at our topic of conversation. Shinji's smiling and seems to be blushing.  
  
So, you haven't heard then? she says, stepping closer, her sparkling blue dress swaying with the slight movement.  
  
Heard what? Toji and I say in unison, both of us highly interested in gossip concerning Shinji.  
  
You know how Yoko's working at the entrance? she asks, continuing once receiving a nod from each of us, Well, I was over there talking to her, and she said that Shinji and that light-haired boy came _together_.  
  
What do you mean, together? I ask, wondering if she means what I think she means.  
  
Together as in a date. Hikari whispers, glancing towards Shinji and the boy just as I do.  
  
Now Shinji's laughing. I don't know if I've ever seen him so happy. The light-haired boy's back is to me and I'm dying to know who he is and what he looks like. My mind made up and determined, I inform my date to wait with Hikari.  
  
Shinji's expression goes blank as I approach and his eyes widen, Hi, I didn't think you were coming. I say cheerfully.  
  
He forces a smile and stands before me. I look to the other boy now. He's unusually handsome in a feminine sort of way. I don't normally like that sort of look in a guy, but for some reason my mind is registering this guy as a ten on my hot-o-meter. He stands as well and I notice that he's kind of tall, taller then Shinji and myself. Then he looks at me and I literally gasp, berating myself for it seconds later. But it's so strange! His eyes are red! No one has red eyes. Then I remind myself of his pale, almost silvery hair and his extremely pale skin. Maybe he's an albino or something, best not to stare.  
  
I heard he was your date? I say, my tone somewhat rude. Too bad though, it's not like Shinji was being polite or anything. He didn't even introduce me to his   
  
Shinji's nervous, I can tell, Um... Yeah.  
  
You've got to be kidding me. This is the girl' Misato and I thought you were seeing? The disbelief is obvious in my voice. It's so crazy! Who would have thought that Shinji was gay?! Why do I care?  
  
My question goes unanswered, instead, the pale-haired boy looking to Shinji and saying, This is the pilot of Unit 02, am I right?  
  
Shinji nods and I'm outraged, Have you been talking to him about me?  
  
Shinji's eyes widen and he speaks up quickly, No, Asuka, I-  
  
I interrupt him though, knowing he's lying, Shut up! How else would he know?! My voice is loud now and I've gained the attention of nearly everyone on this side of the gym. I can't help it though. I'm so angry! The past is the past and I've put it behind me. I don't want to think about Eva anymore, or the Angels I hate so much, the Angels that made me suffer.  
  
He seems to be stuttering, like he doesn't know what to say, I... I'm sorry Asuka. he manages finally.  
  
Sorry? You're sorry? Kami, Shinji, I can't believe you! How could you blab such things to your stupid My rage is spent and I feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes. I can't even imagine forgiving him now, and I can't believe I ever thought I could.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
The girl's little tantrum seems to have really hurt Shinji. I was about to offer words of comfort when an older man began to approach. He was wearing a horrible looking light blue suit, and it seemed to match what little hair he had left on his balding head.  
  
His face was stern as he spoke, Mr. Ikari, I've checked the list and it seems that this boy is in fact your date, is that true?  
  
Shinji seems overwhelmed by this man's presence and simply nods.  
  
I'm afraid I have to ask that you and your date leave then. As you know, same-sex couples aren't allowed at this school. It's untraditional.  
  
I shake my head, knowing that all this nonsense is going to cause Shinji to cry. The best thing now is to simply leave. So, I take his hand and gently pull him towards the exit. This seems to bring him to his senses and he nods, a slight, sorrowful smile pulling at his lips as he walks with me.  
  
The air outside is a bit cool this evening and I take a deep breath as the heavy doors slam shut behind us. Our hands are still joined, and as he begins to walk, I move along with him. I don't know where we're going, but I don't bother asking. It doesn't really matter anyway.  
  
After about thirty minutes we pass the street that leads to his home. Still, I do not question him. I don't mind walking with him, our hands joined. I get the sense that he's still upset though.  
  
We pass a small lake and approach a slightly larger one. My mouth opens slightly as I recognize this place. This is where we met for the first time.  
  
He stops finally, turning to face me, but his gaze is on the ground, I'm sorry. he whispers.  
  
I take his other hand and gently pull him closer, For what?  
  
I didn't know about that rule... I thought we could go together.  
  
I just wanted to go because I was going with you. It doesn't matter what we do, as long as I'm with you. I say, slowly and quietly, watching as he finally looks up.  
  
But... I had wanted tonight to be special, because... I had planned...  
  
He can't seem to find the right words, but it doesn't matter, I know what he means. I lift a finger to his lips to quiet him, smiling as he slowly relaxes.  
  
Don't worry. I can wait. I can wait forever. I say, whispering the last as I lean forward and kiss him chastely on the lips.  
  
We stay there for some time, looking out at the water, This is where I used to come when I felt lonely. he says, slight sorrow in his voice as he remembers.  
  
Did you think of me often? I ask, looking at him, preferring his beauty rather than the lake's.  
  
He smiles then, a real smile, and I feel my heart lift.  
  
We're walking again, past the Furui section of the city and towards farmland.  
  
I can feel a slight electricity in the air, a storm. About twenty minutes later, thunder cracks its whip and he stops.   
  
We're on a dirt road now, tall, dry grass on either side of us. There's a tree not too far off the road and he starts toward it, me in tow. In the case that lightening should strike, a tree is not always the safest place, but I know better than to fear lightening.  
  
The tree is tall and magnificent, wide branches and lush leafage. As we get closer, we find that there is a rusted old van parked beneath it. It's obviously been abandoned. There are no doors and all the windows are broken. The grass is so tall, it was hidden until we were right upon it.   
  
I step close and notice that the roof isn't rusted at all, the paint, a pale green, still in good condition. The grass, as beautiful as it is, is itchy and somewhat bothersome, so I begin to climb atop the van. Shinji seems to understand my reasoning and climbs up as well. It appears to be sturdy and we sit without worry.  
  
The thunder cracks again and a slight rain begins to pour down upon the Earth. Only a few drops make it through the tree's canopy, so we remain fairly dry.  
  
I feel eyes on me and I turn to see that Shinji is staring at me rather pleasantly, his head tilted somewhat. His eyes are looking at me with a slight nervousness and I can't help but chuckle as I place a hand on his cheek, What is it, my love?  
  
He places a hand over mine, holding my touch to his cheek as he leans forward. A crimson blush graces his features and I can see that he is indeed nervous, he clears his throat and closes his eyes, continuing in such a slight whisper, I have to concentrate to hear him, Make love to me.  
  


...........................  


  
To be contined...


	6. Taking It Slow

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Here we go... With the much anticipated lemon... Enjoy! ^_^ Oh, and I wanted to respond to a review... About the principle at the school making Kaworu and Shinji leave due to same-sex couples being untraditional... I was informed that homosexuality is common in Japan and that such a scene would not take place. I just so happen to live no where near Japan, and I can only write what I know... And when I was in high school (which wasn't that long ago) I was always being kicked out of dances for going with someone of the same sex because (as the principle would explain to me) it was So, sorry if I made a mistake there.  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter VI: Taking It Slow  
...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Kaworu smiles and moves close. I'm so nervous and I'm not sure what to do. I close my eyes as his lips press against mine. His movements are slow and I feel myself calming somewhat. His tongue licks across my lips requesting permission, which I quickly grant. His legs are spread and I'm kneeling between them. My hands are at my sides as I'm not quite sure what else to do with them.  
  
Just as I start thinking that I'm going to suffocate, he pulls back, putting his hands to my chest and sliding them over my shoulders. My suit jacket falls behind me, sliding off my arms.   
  
My movements aren't as liquid as his, and I feel rather clumsy as I remove his jacket in the same manner. He just smiles though, an encouraging smile. Biting my bottom lip, I move my fingers to the buttons of his shirt, working from top to bottom. I have to tug a bit to untuck it, but once I do, the shirt comes off easily. His chest is smooth and tantalizing. His skin is so pale, almost as white as the shirt I just removed.  
  
After a few moments, seeing that I've stopped, he moves forward to remove my shirt. He untucks it first, unbuttoning it from bottom to top. However, he becomes impatient and pulls at it, popping the first two buttons off. I gasp, a bit surprised and he takes advantage of it, capturing my open mouth with his own.  
  
I moan as he begins doing the most pleasurably things with his tongue. He swallows it up, placing his warm hands on my bare shoulders and sliding my shirt off.  
  
He breaks this kiss in favor of my neck, his lips warm and wet as he gently pushes me onto my back. The roof of the van is almost cold and it takes a moment to warm against my flesh.  
  
I moan again as his lips move down further, his mouth relishing every curve and contour on my chest. His tongue finds the dip at the base of my neck, below my Adam's apple, and he takes his time there.   
  
I practically forget this new pleasure as I suddenly feel his hands on the closure of my pants. I nearly knock him backwards as I quickly sit up, covering my chest with my arms, my hands fisted beneath my chin. I feel ashamed and keep my gaze downcast.  
  
I'm sorry, he says, moving close again and wrapping his arms around me, Am I moving too fast?  
  
I nod, leaning into his chest, pressing against him, and snaking my arms around his waist.  
  
He begins again, much slower this time. Starting with my ears, nibbling at them like candy. Then my lips and down my jaw line to my neck. I lie back this time, and he smiles as he begins to adorn my chest again. I feel kind of silly not doing anything, but I really don't know what to do.  
  
He runs his hands over my clothed hips, running them back up and pauses, his fingers poised just over the button to my pants. He looks to me this time and smiles as I nod. Of course, I still feel more than nervous, but I know it's now or never.   
  
As he pulls them off, he removes my boxers as well, at the same time, and the cool air makes my skin tingle. I watch as he removes the rest of his clothing himself, I think he's trying to give me time to get used to this nudity, for as he moves close again, he simply lies beside me. I'm thankful for it and take a deep breath. He pulls me close and we hold one another like we often do during sleep.  
  
Thunder rumbles across the sky and the rain falls a little harder. It's late in the evening and it's becoming harder to see. I don't worry about it though. We don't need to literally see one another.  
  
I reach out and slip a hand into my pants pocket, retrieving the condom Misato had given me. My cheeks are hot as I place it in Kaworu's hand.  
  
He chuckles, Such things are not necessary for us. I have no diseases and can catch none, and I doubt either of us will get pregnant.  
  
I find myself chuckling as well, but it dies down all too quickly as he leans over me, moving down to the lower half of my body. I swallow the lump in my throat as he pushes one of my legs to the side, his warm lips kissing that place where thigh meets groin. I groan and close my eyes as the heat within me begins building at an alarming rate.  
  
Then his lips are brushing ever-so-lightly over my heated flesh, and I gasp as his mouth goes to work on my arousal. I can't keep still, wriggling under his administration. He places his hands on my hips in an effort to hold me still. My mind isn't thinking anymore, rather simply enjoying the moment, and I'm moaning. Kami, I never knew I could make such noises!  
  
I can feel it building, starting in the pit of my stomach and moving lower. All I can think is the pleasure to come, almost... And then he's pulling back.   
  
My hips lift instinctively several times and he chuckles, Don't worry, love, I'm not done yet. His voice is breathy and I prop myself up on my elbows, leaning forward.  
  
He smiles and grants me a deep kiss as he moves closer between my legs. I can taste myself on his tongue and I moan in my throat. I pull back rather suddenly as I feel an intrusion in my nether regions. I fall back on my back and writhe beneath this new sensation. I can't decide if I like it or not.  
  
Shhh, relax. he whispers and I try to still myself. I concentrate and try not to gasp as another digit is pushed within me. It's a bit painful now and I almost want him to stop, but my throbbing arousal insists I wait this out. Surely there's pleasure to this as well.  
  
His fingers begin scissoring my opening and eventually a third digit is added. He takes his time and eventually I don't feel any pain at all, it almost feels good in an odd way, and when he removes his hand, I miss it.  
  
Then his hot arousal is pressed against me, one of his hands firm on my hip, the other holding one of my legs up and to the side. I swallow and hold my breath as he pushes forward. Tears spring to my eyes and I grit my teeth as he fills me completely. He remains still for some time and slowly I feel myself beginning to adjust.  
  
You've got to relax. he whispers, his voice breathy. I open my eyes, but it's too dark now and I can't see his face. I wonder what his eyes look like now and how his mouth looks when he speaks like that. Then I register what exactly he said. Relax. I take a deep breath and try my best.  
  
Then he starts moving and I feel myself harden further at the sound of his grunts and moans. His pace ever-so-slowly builds and I find myself enjoying this.  
  
That's when he hit a spot deep within me. My vision splashed white with pleasure and I moaned loudly, my hands gripping our discarded clothes in tight fists.  
  
Kaworu has found something and now he's hitting it with every thrust. Our breathing is growing labored and I'm simply losing my mind with this pleasure. Then his hand moves from my hip to my arousal and I cry out again, my hips lifting off the van. We're moving faster now and I can't control myself. All at once this erotic electricity washes through me from head to toe, emitting itself, and coating both our abdomens and stomachs.  
  
Seconds later I feel a heat explode forth within me and Kaworu slumps down upon me. We lie like that for some time, our breathing slowly returning to normal.  
  
I never knew you'd be so vocal. he says after some time as he rolls off of me to lie beside me.  
  
Neither did I. I say honestly and he chuckles.  
  
He pulls me close and holds me to him, Was it special? he asks quietly, his lips against my ear.  
  
I sigh, smiling,   
  
I love you, Shinji.   
  
I wrap my arms around him as well, pressing my cheek to his chest, I love you too. I whisper.  
  
We both relax in one another's arms, our bliss seemingly at its peak. There can be nothing better than this. Exhausted, however, sleep finds us all too quickly. The rain continues to drip down from the **tree's** leaves upon our sleeping forms, and the thunder comforts us in our dreams as it gently rumbles across the vast night sky, like a hammock of black velvet.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
It's getting awfully late. Shinji and Asuka are going to start questioning your morale if you keep getting home in the wee morning hours. I say teasingly, watching as my beautiful girlfriend sticks her tongue out in reply.  
  
We're at a classy bar for a change and surprisingly, even though we've been here for some hours, neither of us are drunk.  
  
She sighs, You're probably right.  
  
  
  
She chuckles and slumps back in her seat, Well, it's just that lately Shinji's been going through some things and... Well, the other night he needed some advice, and I'd like to be there if he needs more.  
  
I narrow my eyes, Going through some things? I ask, wondering if this has anything to do with Kaworu.  
  
She leans forward now, Believe it or not, I think Shinji's homosexual. He asked me the other night if it was okay to be with another guy.  
  
I blink wide and lean back, Wow. Did he say who this guy is?  
  
No, not yet. I think he's starting to open up though and I really want to be there for him, you know? she says, taking a sip from her mug.  
  
I nod, I get the feeling that this guy is the Seventeenth Angel, and I'm not quite sure what it means. Still, I know better than to be the one to tell Misato. That's Shinji's place, and perhaps coming from him, she will more easily accept it.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I'm surprised when I find that it's Misato and not Shinji coming through the front door. I didn't think she'd be coming home so early. I'm glad though, the last thing I wanted was to talk to stupid Shinji right now.  
  
Hey, Asuka, how was the dance? she asks as she steps into the kitchen, setting her things down.  
  
I sigh, It was okay at first, but I left early.  
  
Her expression transforms into concern, Why? Something happen?  
  
I sigh again, Did you know Shinji's gay?  
  
She takes a seat at the table, Actually, I just found out.  
  
Well, I'm royally pissed off at him. I say sternly, taking a seat as well.  
  
Why? Just because of his sexuality?  
  
No, because he went and told his stupid boyfriend about me being an Eva pilot and everything.  
  
Misato says, pushing her hair back off her face, I'm sorry, Asuka.  
  
Yeah, whatever.  
  
We remain quiet for some time, but then she speaks up, So, you met the guy?  
  
I laugh, Yeah, he's a real freak.  
  
She laughs too, How do you mean?  
  
Well, I think he's an albino. He has super white skin, light hair, and the weirdest of all... He has red eyes.  
  
Her expression goes blank, Red eyes? What did you say his name was?  
  
I shrug, Didn't get his name.  
  
Well, I'm going to change out of this dress. And with that Misato rises and heads to her room.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
I woke first but remained silent. The morning was still a bit cool but the air was thick and humid from the night's rain.  
  
Shinji shifts in his sleep and I watch as his ocean blue eyes slowly blink open, Good morning. I say, watching as a smile pulls at his lips.  
  
I give him a chaste kiss as we sit up, Sleep well?  
  
His smile widens, Yeah. We should do that every night.  
  
I can't help but laugh as I rise to my feet, I'd love to. We both begin dressing and as soon as our shoes are on and we're finished, we begin climbing down off the van.  
  
Misato's probably waiting up, she's going to be mad. he says as we make our way through the tall grass.  
  
I remain silent, and as we reach the dirt road, he continues, I... I think she should meet you.  
  
Are you sure? I ask as we begin our walk back.  
  
He nods, She's probably going to be mad, but I want her to know. I want to be with you without having to worry about hiding it.  
  
I take his hand in mine as we continue to walk, Don't worry. It'll work out.  
  
So, you don't mind?  
  
No, I think it's best this way. I say, completely honest. It's true, Ms. Katsuragi may not take it well, but either way, she's going to find out. For our love to blossom as it should, there has to be no boundaries.  
  


...........................  


  
To be continued...


	7. Asuka's Realization

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: I can't apologize enough for having taken so long with this chapter. There's no excuse. I just hope all of you can forgive me. Another thing, not long ago a reviewer (you know who you are) let me know of my misspellings of Kaworu's name, explaining that Kaoru is commonly used for girl's. I dismissed it until I bought the first volume of the Rurouni Kenshin manga, in which the main character girl is named Kaoru. So, I did some quick and easy research and realized my reviewer was correct. Oops! My bad! ^_^ So, as you will see, I've corrected the spelling of Kaworu's name. Anyway, enjoy! And be sure to review!! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter VII: Asuka's Realization  
...........................  


  
Misato:   
  
I've been sitting in the living room all night. Though, I can't say I was up the whole time. Watching dull infomercials does have a dozing affect on a person, but in between cat naps I've been doing nothing but worrying.  
  
Super white skin, light hair, and red eyes. That's how Asuka had described this mystery fellow. I can think of only one boy I ever knew that matched that description. Kaworu Nagisa. But it's not possible, the Seventeenth Angel died, at Shinji's hands no less. There was no way he was here.  
  
I'm suddenly alert as I hear the front door slide open. He's home. I wait patiently, turning the volume down on the television. I can hear footsteps down the hall and in the kitchen. There are two of them.  
  
You're up. Shinji says as he steps into the living room, a little surprised to see me at such an early hour.  
  
Been waiting for you. Where have you been? I ask calmly, trying my best to handle this maturely.  
  
Well, I... he stutters for an answer.  
  
Shinji, you know better than to stay out all night without calling. I say, still keeping my cool.  
  
He sighs, bowing his head, I know. I'm sorry, but... Misato, I want you to meet someone, okay?  
  
I sit up a little straighter, unconsciously straightening my clothes and hair. He smiles to me as if he's excited about this. I couldn't be more nervous. Shinji steps out of the room and returns seconds later with an Angel beside him, their hands joined.  
  
Misato, this is Kaworu, he's the one I was telling you about. Shinji's words are slow and careful and he's blushing like mad.  
  
I think my mouth must be hanging open. It's true, The Angels have returned. I whisper, my hand going over my mouth as my thoughts go wild.  
  
Kaworu takes a baby step forward, No, just I.  
  
I shake my head, Stay away. My voice still low.  
  
There's no need to fear. I can coexist with the Lilim now. he says, trying to make it clear to me that there's no need for hostility or fighting.  
  
The Angels brought so much misery on us before... You think you can just show up and everything be okay? I'm not really talking to him, more to myself, but I look to the red-eyed boy as I speak, my expression one of disgust.  
  
Kaworu keeps a calm face while Shinji seems to be fighting back tears, And what are you doing with Shinji!? Leading him on? Satisfying yourself only to cause him hurt when you leave or are destroyed?  
  
I don't intend to leave or be destroyed. he answers simply.  
  
No! You can't stay here! You have to go back! I'm nearly screaming now and I'm not too sure why. This just can't be though. Even if it has been two years, the Angels will always be the enemy. They caused so much hurt and pain, so many lives lost by their hands.  
  
Asuka suddenly steps into the room, dreary eyed and yawning, What's with all the noise?  
  
She wakes up instantly when she notices our guest, she says, What the hell are you doing here?  
  
Everyone remains silent for a few minutes, but I finally speak up, He's... Asuka, he's an Angel.  
  
Her eyes go wide, she says, shaking her head, We killed them all. There aren't any Angels.  
  
Quiet descends again, but she's the one to break it this time, How can he be an Angel?! Look at him! she shouts, as if demanding an answer.  
  
He's the Seventeenth Angel, Kaworu Nagisa. I say quietly. Asuka never had the pleasure of meeting him back then, but she knew well enough from data entry that he'd had human form.  
  
Please, everyone stay calm. It's... It's not the same as it was then. Kaworu is just like one of us now. Shinji explains, trying his best to reach us, but I know better.  
  
He can never be one of us! Don't you know what Angels do?! They get in your brain, defile you! There's no room for them among us. Asuka shouts, ending in an angry growl.  
  
Shinji's eyes are watering up again, No, it's not like that. He's not like that. He... He never was. he says, the last coming out in a whisper.  
  
I take a deep breath, speaking to the Angel now, Even if this was okay with me and Shinji, did you think no one else would find out?  
  
Kaworu shrugs, They may or may not, but to live a life in fear is to live a life half lived.  
  
I don't know why my mind won't accept this, and it's so frustrating.  
  
Kaworu steps closer to me, a smile on his lips, Let go, Ms. Katsuragi. Let go of your own insecurities and think only of Shinji's happiness. What harm truly comes from he and I being together?  
  
His words are as direct as an arrow and pierce my heart easily. My thoughts are jumbled and I'm not sure what I think or how I feel about this.  
  
Asuka literally growls, I will not accept this. The Angels are the enemy. You're an Angel. You are the enemy, and you deserve to die.  
  
The pale-haired boy faces her now and I take note of his bravery, Miss Sohryu, do not think of me like those Angels that intruded upon your mind. I would never do such a thing. If you remember correctly, I simply took your Eva.  
  
She narrows her eyes and takes a step forward, standing just before the boy, You're all the same. I won't be defiled like that again.  
  
Kaworu sighs, Indeed, your mind has had much damage.  
  
I nearly wince as Asuka's anger flares, her eyes going crazy-wide, Because of you! Just stay away from me! And with that she's rushing out of the room, heading towards her bedroom, and slamming the door behind her. Through the thin walls of the apartment, we could all hear her weeping.  
  
I look to Shinji now. He's standing there with tears on his cheeks, trying to keep from out right sobbing. I sigh, Shinji, why don't the two of you just go to your room. I need to think about all this. I say quietly, barely a whisper as I am now the one retreating to my bedroom.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I don't wait for Kaworu as I hurry to my room, but I don't have to look behind me to know he's following me. I don't bother with the lights as I step into my private little space and begin pulling off my clothes, letting them fall where they may.  
  
Kaworu's voice is calm and I wonder how on Earth that's possible. Once naked, I climb into bed and turn to face the wall, pulling blankets up over my shoulders.  
  
I can hear him moving behind me as he closes the door. Then there's a lot of cloth rustling.   
  
I gasp as a gust of cool air wafts over my backside. I turn to see Kaworu's lifted the covers and is in the process of climbing in with me. I turn completely and watch as he positions his naked body right up against mine, his face inches from my own.   
  
You're so beautiful. he whispers and I laugh out loud.  
  
Like this? I manage as I begin wiping away snot and tears.  
  
His smile pulls more at one side than the other and he reaches forward, pulling my hands down and away from my face, Hai, like this. I could look at you like this forever.  
  
His affection isn't wasted on me, but it doesn't help banish my tears either and once again my eyes are gushing. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close as he does the same.  
  
Tell me again, Shinji. he whispers in my ear, his pointy chin digging into my shoulder.  
  
I ask, slightly confused and unsure as to what he's talking about.  
  
His voice is so low that I barely catch his words, That you love me.  
  
I smile, I love you, Kaworu, my Angel. I love you, I love you, I love you, I- He cuts me off, planting his cool lips on my own, his passion spilling forth into me. I can feel his knee pushing forward, slipping between my legs, his thigh rubbing my-  
  
Ah, Kaworu... S... Stop. I manage between a hushed moan, my lip bleeding from having bit into it in order to keep silent.  
  
Of course, Kaworu stops instantly, Are you okay?  
  
I nod, Yeah, we just can't do this here. They might hear us.  
  
He thinks for a moment, his eyes narrowing somewhat. Then, a smile graces his face, I think you're right. After all, you are loud.  
  
I can't help but chuckle as I lick the blood from my lip, sucking on the wound somewhat. We lay still for some minutes, perhaps an hour. The gravity of the situation slowly sinks back into me and I find myself in a melancholy state. However, before my emotion manages to work me up to tears again, I'm slipping into a deep sleep in the arms of my lover.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
Sleep evades me as I stare at him. The situation is more upsetting for him than I had thought it'd be. Those tear stained cheeks beckon me closer and I find myself nuzzling his face.  
  
His eyelids twitch and he makes a sound in his sleep, something between a groggy groan and an erotic moan, as he moves closer, resting his head in the crook of my neck.  
  
his voice is laden with sleepiness.  
  
  
  
What... What time is it?  
  
I glance around the room, my eyes finally falling upon the glowing red numbers of his alarm clock, It's 7:36.  
  
He groans again and I feel a stirring in my nether regions, Are you hungry? he asks, slowly sitting up and wiping at his eyes.  
  
I nod and he continues, I'll go get us something to eat. Wait here, okay?  
  
I nod again and he's climbing over me, almost tripping as he finally manages out of bed. I watch as he does a quick search, pulling on his black slacks from yesterday and a gray t-shirt pulled from a drawer. And with that, he's slipping out the door, sliding it shut behind him.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I'm sitting at the kitchen table in utter silence, sipping from a large mug of hot coffee. Normally, I'd never be up this early, but I didn't sleep well and currently have a killer headache. I was thinking the coffee would clear it, but so far it wasn't working.  
  
Voices. I hear voices. I lean back in my chair and listen. It's coming from Shinji's room. Suddenly, my headache is throbbing. He and the Angel are talking. The conversation didn't last long though... I hear his door open and soon he's stepping into the room.  
  
M... Morning, Asuka. he says it like a coward, like he's afraid of me.  
  
You and the Angel sleep well? I ask, sarcasm and hate infused in my words.  
  
He literally winces and simply looks away as he passes, heading to the refrigerator. I watch as he searches for something edible. He should know better, there's nothing good in there. After a quick search through the cabinets he finally decides on instant ramen.   
  
Would you like me to make you some too? he asks politely, risking eye contact.  
  
I narrow my eyes, prepared to spit out some rude comment or another, but I really am hungry. Crying your heart out really wears a person out. I nod and watch as he sets to boiling a large pot of water.  
  
While he waits for the water to begin bubbling, he turns to me again, leaning against the kitchen counter, Has Misato left already?  
  
I nod again, She left at 6:30.  
  
But I thought she didn't have to be at work until eight today. he says in a confused tone as he places the noodles in the pot.  
  
Yeah, well... What with everything, she said she needed to get out and think. I don't blame her. My head's killing me just thinking about being under the same roof as that Angel... Or you for that matter! How can you stand to be with him? You're like a couple right? My rage just sneaks up on me and the next thing I know I'm standing.  
  
He looks shocked and confused, I... I don't know. Now he just looks scared and busies himself with his little cooking project.  
  
No, don't just say, I don't know.' Answer me! How can you stand to be with him? I ask again, much closer now.  
  
he mumbles, his eyes twitching in their sockets as he adds the flavoring to the ramen.  
  
I take another step closer, our bodies nearly touching, Just answer me. How can you stand to be with him? My voice takes a tactical move and quiets somewhat, taking on a calm, almost patient tone.  
  
He turns his head and looks me directly in the eyes. I'd forgotten how blue those eyes are, Because... He loves me. His voice is nearly a whisper, but clear as a bell and my eyes go wide. And I love him too. He turns away then, moving to gather bowls.  
  
I take several steps back, somewhat breathless. This is stupid! How can an Angel feel Human emotions? They're monsters, mind-warping, psychotic monsters. I close my eyes and shake my head. When I open them again, I see that there's a bowl of ramen set on the table in my spot, chopsticks lying beside it as well as a glass of juice, and Shinji's preparing two identical meals on a tray.  
  
You're crazy, I grumble, grabbing my mug from the table, He doesn't love you. He's an Angel! He'll probably drive you crazy and ruin your mind so that when the others arrive, you won't be able to fight them. And with that I'm retreating to my room, leaving my meal to get cold on the table. I'm not hungry anymore anyway.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
The confrontation with Asuka more than rattled me, but my eyeballs can't handle any more crying right now, they're already threatening to dry up and fall back in their sockets. So I keep quiet and return to my room with a forced smile.  
  
Kaworu's sitting on the bed, wearing a pair of my boxers, Do you mind? he asks, obviously referring to the shorts.  
  
I flip on the light and close the door, shaking my head in answer to his question, I hope instant ramen's okay. It doesn't taste great, but... A shrug finishes the sentence for me as I place the tray on the bed.  
  
We eat in relative silence and I take note of Kaworu's impeccable manners. Soon enough, however, we finish our meals. As I'd said, it didn't taste great, but it filled our bellies with a comforting warmth that in the end, sated us. I place the tray and our dishes on the floor out of the way.  
  
Do you want to do something, go somewhere? I ask, running my fingers through my messed, morning hair. I know he can see through my forced optimism, and I wonder what exactly he's thinking about.  
  
Before I can open my mouth to ask, though, I hear the front door open and close. Upon quick inspection, I find that Asuka has left.  
  
Well, I guess no one wants to be around us. I mutter as I return to my room and to Kaworu.  
  
He only smiles, It's okay, I'm here for you. His words are kind and inviting and as he opens his arms, I can't help but move forward into his embrace.  
  
My lips are near his ear and I whisper, And I'm here for you. But what about us? Will no one accept us?  
  
He physically sighs, We can't determine how other's will think and feel. It will be how it will be.  
  
I know. I whisper, just about cutting him off. I don't want to hear any more talk like that. I don't want it to end how it will end. I want to know for sure that we'll always be happy and together, that everyone will accept and understand us, but I guess that's the thinking of a child. What did I expect from Kaworu anyway? Did I really think that I could sob on his shoulder and he'd make the world better again?  
  
I pull back, looking into his stunning red eyes, and I make a promise to myself. I will not expect more from Kaworu than simply love and honesty. I sense a strength deep within my core and I let my eyes slip closed as I concentrate on it. It's the same strength that helped me survive my bond with my Eva.  
  
I sigh and nearly laugh aloud. I was expecting myself to literally change, to transform into some better being. I'm just Shinji though, soft-hearted Shinji Ikari. I will cry many more tears and I'll surely be humiliated a thousand more times, but I'll never put impossible weight on Kaworu again. He can only give so much before he is no more.  
  
I open my eyes again to see that he's looking at me strangely, as if he were curious as to the thoughts that were running through my head. I smile, a reassuring smile and then he too is smiling.  
  
Let's stay here. he says, lying back in bed.   
  
I nod and follow suit, kicking my pants off once under the covers. Seconds later we're in each others' arms.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I just couldn't stand it anymore. It's not like I could hear what exactly they were saying, but I could hear their murmured voices as they spoke to one another. I could only imagine what was being said. So, with an angry rush, I threw on some clothes, grabbed my purse and jacket, and headed out.  
  
It was Sunday and school kids were about everywhere. Luckily, I had yet to see any I recognized. I mean, I hadn't even glanced in a mirror as I left and I can't remember if I brushed my hair this morning or not.  
  
Stupid Shinji! He's so strange! He doesn't fully trust anyone, not even Misato. It's like he's constantly waiting for one of us to do or say something that would crush his soul. And yet, the first Angel that comes along, he falls head over heels for! It's enough to drive a person insane.  
  
Anger rushes through me again... Why do I care!? I don't care about this Angel, as long as it stays far away from me, away from my mind. Why can't I just move away, go back to Germany? Many relatives and past friends have made it very clear that I'm welcome to return. And Shinji... I don't care who he cares about or or kisses...   
  
I stop dead in my tracks. A man bumps into the back of me and says something rude, but I don't hear his words. D... Do I care? The question rolls over and over in my mind and I have to work at letting my heart be the one to answer. Yes. Yes, I do care, but...  
  
Why? Why do I care who Shinji cares about? Is it, perhaps because... I care about him?  
  
Another person runs into me and my thoughts are shaken somewhat. Realizing that I'm standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk, I move to the side and lean against a building. I slowly slide down in a sort of squatting position, my elbows on my knees, my hands over my face.  
  
I do care about Shinji. I hate thinking about him with that Angel, because it breaks my heart. For so long it was me he adored! At one point I began falling for him, but all too quickly he started stealing my glory and putting me to shame. That hate still burns in me, and yet at the same time, I love him.  
  
My eyes open wide and I glance around as if I were about to be caught committing a crime. How can a person love and hate someone at the same time? Perhaps my therapist knows and this is the reasoning behind his constant suggesting that I forgive Shinji.  
  
My legs feel a bit shaky and I move to sit on my butt. A determination sparkles across my eyes. Shinji's the reason I haven't gone back to Germany, the reason I can't and won't. I know Shinji feels for me, he must.  
  
_Because... He loves me. And I love him too._  
  
Were his words true? No. An Angel cannot feel, let alone love, but that doesn't mean Shinji's not in love with it. In fact, the look I'd seen in those blue eyes told me quite honestly that he was in love. The Angel must be tricking him then, behaving like some kind of siren.  
  
I have to think of a way then to separate them. My spine tingles and a familiar fear tickles my lungs, causing my breath to come a bit faster. I'm more than terrified of that Angel, of any Angel. I could never forget the horrible things those blasted creatures made me remember, the things they put in mind like little demons running amuck in my head, eating at the soft tissue of my mind and scraping their nails on my skull, trying to escape in order to consume the rest of me.  
  
I push myself to my feet and shake my head again. No rattling, no bumping about... No, one of those little demons does not remain up there. Just checking.   
  
I glance about and notice a little cafe up about a block. In a few minutes I'm entering the quaint little place and taking a seat by the window. A waitress approaches and I order a cup of black coffee.  
  
Hours pass and my thoughts aren't so strange to me anymore, their newness having worn off somewhat. Still, I know there's no way I could personally sabotage the Angel's relationship with Shinji, no matter how much I care about him. I fear the Angel's wrath more than anything and I know I don't have the strength to defend myself. Shinji proved that much to me long ago.  
  
Misato. Surely Misato wouldn't stand for such an unholy relationship under her roof. A smile blesses my lips as I lean back in my chair, sipping at my sixth cup of coffee. Yes, I'll just let Misato take care of all this for me. Then I'll...  
  
I sigh. No wonder my therapist wants me to work on forgiving Shinji. I know I can't admit my true feelings without doing that first, and even then I don't know how long it will take for me to be able to confess my love. I just have to make sure that when I'm ready, Shinji's there and single.  
  
There's a bounce in my step as I head home, taking a long route through the park.  
  


...........................  


  
To be continued...


	8. Sweet As Candy

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Hiya! ^_^ Here I am, getting a chapter up rather quickly! Pretty good, ne? ^_^ Well, enjoy! And don't forget to review! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter VIII: Sweet As Candy  
...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Work, as usual, is dull as shit, but today I don't mind. In fact, I arrive an hour early. Now I sit behind my comfortable little desk, my mind wandering.  
  
There's no way Shinji and an Angel can be together, not like a real couple. He can never be fully trusted. Even now something could happen. I should have already reported this to someone, but for some reason I haven't and I really don't know why.  
  
Well, maybe I do... I hate to put Shinji through that. If anyone knew of the Angel, it would be him they'd call in to destroy it, and even if it wasn't... I just don't think Shinji could handle losing the Angel again.  
  
I just don't know what to do! I vowed I would destroy the Angels, and now I'm considering a world with one in it. Would it really be so bad? If the secret was kept, if Kaworu behaved forever like a Human, it really wouldn't be so bad.  
  
My thoughts continue on like this the entire morning. Fellow employees look at me strangely as they pass. I never sit still and quiet. Normally, I'd be up chatting with others, at the vending machines, or something. I can't even get my easy-as-pie job done with all these thoughts.  
  
When lunch rolls around, I'm more than thankful and I head outside for a breath of fresh air. I turn a corner and head for the picnic benches employees of nearby buildings use as a break spot. Cigarette butts litter the ground here and I wonder if perhaps they will be more damaging to the Earth than Kaworu.  
  
I'm sitting up on the table, my head in my hands, when I hear his voice, Katsuragi, why so glum?  
  
I look up and Kaji's face graces my day. He really is handsome, even if he does refuse to shave as often as I'd like. I sigh, I've got some bad news.  
  
His face becomes serious and he stops to listen rather than make a little joke out of my statement. I sit up straight, You knew?  
  
He sighs and looks down, a smirk pulling at his lips, Can't fool you, can I?  
  
Why didn't you tell me? I ask, my eyes wide.  
  
He hops up to sit on the table beside me, our thighs touching, I ran into the Seventeenth Angel on the street. He was looking for Shinji, I pointed him in the right direction. That's it.  
  
What am I going to do? My voice is small and I'm looking at the ground again.  
  
What happened?  
  
Shinji came home last night with it, even introduced me to it, like it was his boyfriend or something. Asuka freaked. I explain, remembering the way Shinji had seemed so excited that night... The way he'd broken down into tears as his little introduction bombed.  
  
Where are they now? Kaji asks, resting a hand on mine, gaining my attention.  
  
Home, I guess. I sent them to Shinji's room last night... I left early this morning. I whisper the last, ashamed of my fear. I look up into those passionate, chocolate eyes, What should I do?  
  
He smiles, Give it time. I don't think the Angel has any evil plans or anything. He seems simply intent on being with Shinji, and it's making Shinji happy... So, I don't really see a serious problem. Perhaps you'll have to keep Asuka under control though.  
  
I nod, Yeah, but what if it suddenly destroys half the city? All those lives would be lost because I didn't report this when I had the chance.  
  
Kaji's eyes narrow and he leans close, Do you really believe he'd do something like that?  
  
I think about it, really think about. I remember the look in those ruby eyes. Minutes pass before I finally answer, No. No, I don't.  
  
Kaji leans closer and his eyes slip shut just before he places his lips upon mine. The kiss is warm and chaste and I'm left wanting more as he pulls back, Don't worry. Time reveals all. His words are reassuring, and when I return to work, I feel much better.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Kaworu's fingers spider their way under my shirt. They're like ice and I shiver, causing him to stop and look at me in a concerned manner, Is my skin too cold for you?  
  
I shake my head, No, don't stop.  
  
His eyes sparkle and smile, I've seen this look before... Lust. I blush and look away, leaving my neck wide open. He doesn't hesitate, and in seconds he's adorning my flesh with sloppy kisses.  
  
The blanket is lost beneath us as we sit up, Kaworu pulling the T-shirt up and over my head. His eyes travel over my body, taking their time, and I remember suddenly that this is the first time we're seeing each other like this. Our first time had been in the dark. This realization causes me to blush further.  
  
Kaworu reaches forward and places his cool palms on my cheeks, I love your blush. His eyes flicker down for a moment, And I love the way your skin gets so hot.  
  
I take in a deep breath as he leans in close, pressing his cheek to mine. I'm so turned on it aches and yet I'm nervous as hell. Biting my lip, I boldly place my hands on my lover's back and let them slide down to the elastic band of his shorts. I taste blood in my mouth as I pull at them.  
  
Kaworu chuckles, lifting himself in order to make my task easier. Soon enough, the boxers are discarded and I'm leaning back, cracking my eyes open for my first look at my Angel.   
  
I find myself staring, You're so pale. I say, placing my index finger on his stomach, letting it trail down to his navel.  
  
And you're kissed by the sun. He whispers, taking my exploring hand in his own and placing it on his swelling need.  
  
I swallow and quickly look up into his eyes. My nervousness fades instantly at the compassion I see there clearly before me. Seconds later my lips are on his, my mouth coming open, our tongues dancing. He sucks at my bottom lip, his tongue assaulting the small cut I have there. I moan and feel the flesh beneath my hand harden. I experiment, moving my hand in such a way I know would be pleasurable for myself.  
  
I swallow the sound that spilled forth from my lover, more deliberately touching him now, trying to wring more of those sounds from him.  
  
And then his hands are on me and we're playing a little game, trying to pleasure the other more.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
As I'm leaving the park, I spot a cart on the sidewalk across the street. The sign reads: Candy! My good mood causes me to feel giddy as I approach the cart, like a child. As I'm telling the man what I want, he takes a good look at me, his eyes lingering on my chest. Sometimes I wish I were like all the other women of Japan, but then, men stare at them too. Thinking about it for a moment, I realize Shinji's the only male I've ever met that doesn't stare at women like an over-sexed pervert.  
  
The man takes my money and hands me a paper bag. I start towards home, my building only a block away. As I walk, I pull forth a large piece of raspberry hard candy, popping it into my mouth like a fruit drop. The sugar revitalizes me and I feel my good mood surge forth again.  
  
The elevator clicks as it passes each floor, stopping somewhat suddenly when it reaches mine. I pop another piece of candy in my mouth as I head towards the apartment. The door insight, not five feet away, I stop, glancing to my right. I can't help but admire the view. I step closer to the railing and stare out at the city. The sky is dimming and the lights are beginning to shine. I rarely take note of this beauty, the sight of our restored city. Normally, I'm too busy or too pissed.  
  
Sighing, I realize that it must be about five or six o'clock. Misato went to work early, so she should be getting home early. Reluctantly, I turn from the view and approach the door marked: Katsuragi. The door slides open and I step inside.   
  
The first thing I notice is the temperature. Outside, the evening air is cool, but in here it's a bit warm. Stupid Shinji, it's not like he doesn't know how to use the A/C. I head down the hall and take a look at the small control pad in the wall. The damned thing isn't even on! It's like Shinji hasn't left his room all day. A few seconds later, I have the A/C up and running, the temperature set at 70.  
  
I enter the kitchen where I notice the noises. Setting my candy bag down on the table, I slowly begin down the hall... It's such an obvious sound, and yet, I just can't believe that's what it is. I tiptoe further, finding that the sounds are coming from Shinji's room. Moans, panting, groans, mumbled words... Anger builds in my core, spilling forth like lava from a volcano, flowing into my limbs, filling me to the brim.  
  
How could Shinji do such a thing?! How could he choose some scrawny boy over me?! Not to mention the fact that that albino freak is an Angel! My rage takes a cruel turn and I find myself sliding the door open with unnecessary force.  
  
Shinji's lying there, stomach down, his expression squanched, his hands gripping the sheets. He's sweaty and his cheeks are rosy and his legs are spread wide. There upon him, pressed against him is the Angel, his skin stark white in comparison, his thick bangs damp with perspiration.   
  
I can only stand to look for but a few seconds, and yet, in that short amount of time, I see everything. The clothes strewn about, the blankets rumpled, their bodies slick, fitting together like they were doing this for the hundredth time.  
  
I turn and stomp away, hurrying to my room before my watering eyes can manage to overflow. I slam my door shut and flop onto my bed, sitting still, my eyes closed as I listen to the sound of my blood boiling. Just over that though, I can hear Shinji's voice as well as the Angel's, and I can hear them scrambling for clothing.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
Shinji's eyes are flickering nervously about as he hurriedly pulls on a pair of shorts and a large T-shirt.  
  
I sit still, my body reminding me that it yearns for release. Shinji, however, went flaccid the moment that girl opened the door, What are you going to do? I ask, honestly curious.  
  
He shrugs as he tosses me clothes similar to his own, I don't know... Apologize.  
  
For what? I ask as I rise to my feet, dressing quickly and calmly.  
  
He sighs, I don't know, but I have to go talk to her. She looked so mad and confused.  
  
I nod, understanding this to be guilt, a Lilim emotion, one I'm glad to say I don't experience. I follow him out the door and down the hall. He taps gently on a door with a sign reading: Enter and die!  
  
he calls, his voice small and timid. He waits a few moments before repeating himself.  
  
We're both shocked as the door suddenly slides open to reveal a highly upset red-head, What do you want? She growls, and I notice that her eyes are glossy. There's emotion behind those bold, blue eyes, eyes the color of evening snow, ice blue. She's not just angry, she's heartbroken.  
  
What are you staring at?! she screeches, stepping forward and looking directly at me.  
  
I was wondering why you're so sad. I say calmly, watching as her eyes widen before transforming into an angered expression.  
  
I'm not sad, I'm disgusted! The last thing I expected to find was the two of you f... Fucking! She stutters with that last word, turning her attention to Shinji as she finally spits it out.  
  
Shinji's eyes water instantly, It's not like that.  
  
No? That's what it looked like to me! How could you?! He's an Angel! Her shout echoes in my ears and I squint my eyes in pained annoyance.  
  
I don't think that him being an Angel makes much difference. Shinji whispers, looking down.   
  
She shoves past us and stomps towards the kitchen, It makes all the difference, idiot! He's just using you! The Angels are the enemy! You're fucking the enemy!  
  
Shinji follows her on into the living room and I follow him, Stop saying that! It's not like that! he nearly shouts, anger fueling his courage.  
  
I hear the front door open and close, but the sound goes unnoticed to Shinji or the girl.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
As I step into the apartment, feeling rather good about myself, I hear shouts coming from the living room. I quickly remove my shoes and place my purse and keys on the table.  
  
Yes it is! Angel or not, you barely know him, and already you're going at it! It's totally nasty! I mean, what's _wrong_ with you?! Asuka's voice is nearly screaming, her words just barely understandable.  
  
I step into the room to see her and Shinji facing off, her expression hard like steel, a small vein pulsing on her forehead and a large one in her neck. Shinji's cheeks are streaked with tears, his gaze on the floor. Kaworu is standing behind him, slightly to the side, his whole demeanor calm and composed. As I enter further, he glances at me, but quickly averts his eyes back to the situation.  
  
I don't know! Shinji shouts the three words as if pleading for an answer, like it was something he truly didn't know and wanted to. I don't know what's wrong with me. The volume of his voice quiets and he sighs, I'm sorry.  
  
Asuka had been surprised for a moment at the sudden outburst from the normally shy boy, but now she wasn't, I hate you. The words bring forth a sob from Shinji and she appears satisfied. Turning, she sets her eyes on Kaworu, And I hate you even more. Her eyes flicker for a moment as if she expects the Angel to attack her. You both disgust me.  
  
That's enough. I say, fully entering the room, gaining the surprised attention from both Shinji and Asuka, Not another word. I don't want any more fighting in this house.  
  
Asuka stares at me for a moment, her expression confused as if she expected me to hurry over and yell at Shinji just as she had been. She should know better though, even if I were angry at Shinji, that's not exactly a way to get through to him.  
  
Her stare turns cold as it transforms into a glare. Without a word she storms passed me, her shoulder brushing mine as she heads for her room. I sigh, Well, you two hungry? I ask, turning back to the kitchen.  
  
I put my things away and begin looking through the cabinets, What do we have? I ask as Shinji steps into the room.  
  
He looks small and timid as he takes a seat in his usual spot, Nothing. Just instant ramen.  
  
Guess it's about time to get groceries again. I sigh, thinking about how much money it will take to fill all these empty cabinets, not to mention the refrigerator. Kaworu takes a seat at what's normally Asuka's place as I set to work boiling some water, So, are you going to tell me what's going on around here? I ask after some minutes.  
  
Shinji wipes at his eyes like a toddler, It was my fault. he whispers.  
  
I glance at Kaworu, expecting him to pipe up and explain, but he's digging through a small paper bag, pulling forth chunks of hard candy.  
  
What was? I ask, my question directed to Shinji.  
  
Asuka came home when me and Kaworu were... His sentence trails off and a blush spreads across his cheeks.  
  
My eyes are instantly wide, Shinji, don't you think that maybe you and... Kaworu are taking it a bit fast? I throw the noodles in the pot and take a seat at the table, waiting impatiently for an answer.  
  
He just shakes his head, I say, I was talking to Kaji, and the Angel... I mean, Kaworu has only been around a few weeks, right?  
  
Shinji nods and Kaworu adds another piece of candy to his mouthful, Okay, so... Don't you think sleeping together's a bit sudden? I ask, watching either of them for a reaction. Nothing. They both just sit there in their own little worlds. Shinji mourning and Kaworu snacking. My thoughts are interrupted by the hissing sound of the pot boiling over. I hurry to the small stove and switch it off. Moments later I'm returning to the table with bowls.  
  
Okay, one of you has got to talk to me. I practically demand as I fill each bowl and pass them out.  
  
Kaworu neatly folds the little bag closed and sets it aside as he graciously accepts his ramen, There is nothing sudden about us sleeping together. He says, and I'm a little surprised to find that he had been paying attention.  
  
Shinji looks up and glances from the Angel to me and back again.  
  
I see, I say, sipping at a beer, Are the two of you being safe?  
  
A smile curves at Kaworu's lips, There is no need for such precautions considering what I am.  
  
I swallow slow, allowing myself time to think, Did you apologize to Asuka? I ask, speaking to Shinji.  
  
He nods, Hai... But, I don't think it made much of a difference.  
  
Shinji, I.. I've been thinking all day about this. I'm still not sure I trust Kaworu's intentions here, but I'm willing to give him a chance, for your sake. They're both looking at me know. The Angel's the first to react, smiling as he reaches over and places a hand on Shinji's.  
  
The rest of supper is eaten in silence. Eventually, the boys excuse themselves and I'm left to finish my beer alone. I notice that Kaworu left half his ramen. I also notice he took the little bag with him back to Shinji's room.  
  
Just as I'm about to get up and start cleaning and putting things away, Asuka steps out of her room. She quickly takes note of her options and begins preparing herself some ramen.  
  
Did you hear?  
  
Minutes later she's taking a seat, beginning her supper, Yes, and I can't believe it.  
  
Sighing, I know, but I really think this is best for Shinji.  
  
And what about the rest of us? How do you know that Angel's not going to attack?  
  
Her questions are valid, and I answer honestly, I don't, not for sure, but I'm willing to take that chance.  
  
For him? For Shinji? He's that important to you? She's stopped eating now, her chopsticks looking rather dangers in her hand like that, in mid-air.  
  
I lean forward, looking her in the eyes, Yes, both of you are.  
  
She chuckles, a dry, sarcastic, sickening chuckle, So, rather than breaking Shinji's heart, you'll risk global destruction.  
  
I say, sighing again, I really don't think this is going to come to that.  
  
But I do, and you may not say anything, but I will. Something has to be done, someone has to know. That Angel has to be destroyed. Her tone is thick with determination and she finishes her ramen with a final bite.  
  
Please, Asuka... Don't be rash. If you want, I can get them their own apartment. I'm basically begging at this point, my eyes pleading with hers.  
  
You don't understand. You don't know what I saw. Her voice has become quiet now, hey eyes glossy.  
  
I lean back,   
  
Yes, I saw them, Misato. I saw them together.  
  
I'm at a loss for words. My mind's racing for something to say when I notice movement down the hall. Kaworu's stepping into the restroom, a pile of clothes in his arms, the door closing behind him. Seconds later I hear the water running.  
  
Asuka sighs, You don't have to get them their own apartment, but I'm not accepting this.  
  
She continues before I speak, And I won't tell anyone about him.  
  
I slump, my muscles relaxing in relief and she notices, Thank you, Asuka.   
  
Without a word she puts away her dishes and retreats to her room.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I lay in the tub, the water a bit cool, but I couldn't drain it. This is the water Kaworu used for his bath only minutes ago. I imagine his lean body lying here, his legs bent at the knees, his thick hair sopping wet, his bangs sticking to his forehead.  
  
Despite the water's temperature, I find myself with a semi. I shake my head and try my best to clear my thoughts, enough to wash and be done anyway.  
  
Eventually, I'm out of the tub, reluctantly letting the water drain. I scrub my short hair with a towl after drying my body. As I'm about to pull on a clean T-shirt and shorts, I notice my reflection in the large mirror over the sink. In it, I can see myself from head to navel. I stand on my tiptoes, glimpsing the beginnings of pubic hair just for a moment before dropping back to flat feet. My body is narrow and thin and on the verge of being considered too thin. I honestly don't know what Kaworu sees that he likes.  
  
I smile, shaking my head as I begin pulling on my clothes. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't care what I think of myself. Kaworu loves me the way I am and I love him.  
  
I exit the bathroom with a smile on my face. I return to my room to find it neat and clean. I had done most of the straightening while Kaworu was in the bath, but now it was finished and only the Angel could have done it. I blush, imagining Kaworu cleaning my room, picking up my dirty laundry, straightening my junk. Another look around and I suddenly realize that he's missing.  
  
I turn and head down the hall to the kitchen, empty. A few more steps and I'm in the living room. There I find the TV going, music videos, and there sprawled out on the couch is Kaworu. He's still munching on that candy. I have no clue where he got it.  
  
I stand in the doorway and watch as he stares at the TV, totally transfixed. It's nearly midnight and assumably Asuka and Misato are asleep. Tomorrow's school and Misato has to be at work early again.  
  
A commercial breaks Kaworu's concentration and he glances my way, a smile coming to his face when he realizes I've been watching him. He lifts a hand and motions me over.  
  
Without hesitation, I move closer and take a seat on the edge of the couch. He puts a hand to my chest and pulls me down to lie beside him.  
  
Feel better? he asks, his expression serious, his lips stained pink from candy.  
  
I look at him questioningly, unsure as to what he's talking about.  
  
Your bath... Do you feel better after your bath?  
  
I smile, Well, I would feel better if we had bathed together, but then we wouldn't have gotten any cleaning done.  
  
Now he's smiling and I sidle closer, You know, that candy's making your lips all pink.  
  
Kaworu places a finger to his lips, tracing them like a woman would if she were applying lipstick, And my tongue? he asks, sticking said muscle out for inspection.  
  
Indeed, it was all pink, much more so than his lips. I chuckle, nodding.  
  
Kaworu watches me carefully, leaning down and kissing me fully. Seconds later he's pulling back, Does it taste like candy? He asks playfully.  
  
I can't help but laugh again, nodding. He did taste like candy, but our first kiss was just as sweet. I don't think it's so much the candy as Kaworu himself.  
  
Turning in his arms, my back to his chest, and a blanket pulled up over us, we both watch as the commercial ends and another music video begins.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Lying in bed in nothing more than a pair of worn panties and an over-sized tank top, I'm thankful I talked Asuka into at least keeping her mouth shut about the situation. Her words had touched me though. That sliver in my mind that continuously reminds me that this Angel could destroy us all in the worst of ways remains and doesn't diminish. While I think Shinji deserves happiness more than anyone, I'm still not positive the risk is worth it.  
  
My thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of giggling and laughter. Curious, I pull myself out of bed, scratching my head as I pull on my thick white robe. As I sneak down the hall, I notice light from the television is flickering and reflecting into the kitchen, blue and bright. A glimpse around the corner and I find myself looking in on the two boys. Their talking and kissing and laughing and smiling and cuddling, and the sight of it isn't much of a big deal, except that one of those boys is Shinji.   
  
I can't ever remember the last time I heard his meloncholy voice strumming into blissful laughter. I pull back and lean against the wall out of sight, listening to a sound I'd almost forgotten.  
  
Yes, it's worth it. All of humanity is worth this one boy's happiness. As lame and backward as it sounds, it's how I feel. And perhaps that's why the Angel returned in the first place.  
  
My mind made up, I head back for my room and much needed sleep. I will do everything in my capability to keep Shinji and Kaworu together. Yet, at the same time, I think Asuka deserves happiness as well, and so, I will think of a way for all of us to coexist.  
  
Yawning, I close myself up in my bedroom and remove my bulky robe. As I climb back into my bed of tangled blankets and sheets, I'm feeling a seed of positive energy in my mind, growing into a tree of hope. Things will work out, all of this will work out. I will try my best.  
  
Within seconds of resting my head upon my pillow, I'm asleep, my mind at ease, my thoughts slow and calm. My dreams centering on my one and only, and just before I'm completely unconscious, I wonder if Kaji's dreaming of me.  
  


...........................  


  
To be continued...


	9. Hikari's Advice

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Hi! I'm not sure if I know exactly where I'm going with this fic. No worries though! I intend on doing some serious planning asap in order to get things figured out. The next chapter will be more interesting. For sure! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter IX: Hikari's Advice  
...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
Monday morning. I hate Mondays, in fact, I hate everyday. Flicking the sleep from my eyes, I begin my morning routine. Coffee, must have coffee. I crack my door open and peer down the hall towards the kitchen. It doesn't seem like anyone else is around. Everything's quiet.  
  
Still, I don't want to run into that Angel! My bladder tingles with fear at the mere thought of that damned Angel. If he wanted, he could do so many horrible things to me, and without even lifting a finger.  
  
My bladder tingles again and I realize that it's not only fear, but mother nature. I peer down the hall in the opposite direction of the kitchen. I have to pee, but the bathrooms right across from Shinji's room. I have no choice though!  
  
Like some kind of idiot child, I sneak towards my destination on tiptoes.  
  


...........................  


  
I've returned from the restroom, had my morning coffee, and finished putting on my school uniform, and I have yet to run into anyone. At this point I feel a little creeped out.  
  
I approach Misato's bedroom door, tapping gently at it. No answer.  
  
Misato? Don't you have to be at work early today? Still no answer.  
  
My voice sounds strange in such silent surroundings. Swallowing nervously, I slide the door open, only to find no one there. Her cell phone's gone as well as her bag and jacket. She must have left before I even got up.  
  
What had I been thinking anyway? That the Angel had managed to make every living thing except for myself disappear?   
  
I chuckle to myself as I return to the kitchen. I glance at the table out of habit, looking for a note from my violet-haired guardian that I know isn't there. Instead, it reminds me of the candy I left there the night before. It's gone.  
  
Frowning, I turn and look about me. Well, maybe I left it in the living room.   
  
My eyes go wide as I step into said room. Shinji and the Angel are lying together on the sofa in a spoon position. Thankfully, however, they both appear to be clothed, but that doesn't make the sight any less disturbing.  
  
Just when I had realized my feelings for the idiot, he goes and falls for someone else. And not just any someone else, my mortal enemy, my biggest fear, my truest hate. Oh Shinji, how very annoying.  
  
Just as my thoughts are about to take a cruel and wicked turn, I spot a little paper bag crumpled on the coffee table. My candy! The anger rattles me for a second. They were enjoying _my_ candy together! Way to go Asuka, bring them together with sweets! Without thought, I reach out and snatch a book off the nearest shelf, a paperback thesaurus of some kind. In an instant I've hurtled it forward, and the second it leaves my hand I regret having done it. I don't want to deal with them this morning. I just don't think I can handle that.  
  
In a rush, I turn and sprint for the front door. I hear a yelp and a groan and a, Hey, what the? And then I'm out the door and hurrying to the elevator.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
I wake to the sound of my lover's pained voice. My eyes blink open instantly to see him rubbing his head, What happened? I ask, a bit confused.  
  
He holds up a thesaurus, I think Asuka threw this at me. His voice is a little shaken and he reaches out to place the book on the coffee table.  
  
You mean, at us. I say leaning closer to inspect Shinji's injury. Nothing but the clean, smooth skin of his scalp. No bump or bruise or even a red spot. I kiss his head anyway, breathing in the fresh smell the blueberry scented shampoo he'd used last night. I turn my head a bit and gently rub my cheek against his soft yet thick hair.   
  
When I'm finally finished, I pull back, There. Feel better?  
  
He's blushing, Hai, much better. Then it's as if he remembers something, his eyes lighting up, What time is it?  
  
At the same time we both glance at the wall clock. 7:48 AM.  
  
He sighs, I'm going to be late for school.  
  
I feel a frown pull at my lips, a frown I didn't even have to think about. It just happened, Do you have to go? I ask in a near whisper.  
  
Misato would be mad if I didn't. And Asuka would only get more upset if I spent all my time lying with you. He's smiling as he says it, a hand resting on my thigh.  
  
Can I go with you?  
  
He sighs again, his slight smile slipping away as he realizes I'm really sad to see him go, It would probably be best if you didn't. If someone recognized you somehow, if someone figured out what you are... I don't want to lose you. He says the last in a whisper, his hand moving from my thigh to my face.  
  
I can practically feel the warmth radiating from him. He reeks of love and I'm pleased. I nod, Okay, I'll wait here for you.   
  
He smiles,   
  


...........................  


  
In a matter of minutes he's dressed and in the kitchen. He has the massive phonebook open and he's writing down numbers, Here. This is a bunch of good places to order take out from. Here's some money. He digs down in his pocket and pulls forth several bills.  
  
I take them, examining a new thing. I know well enough how to use a phone and pay for things. Take out will be easy enough.  
  
I guess I better go before I'm any later. Shinji's lip is suffering from his new habit. He's bitten himself to the blood twice now and seems to be worrying the same wound as he moves closer. I watch carefully as he leans into me, his mouth coming to mine, his eyes slipping shut. This kiss is wet and warm and as he pulls away, I lick my lips, tasting blood there.  
  
I'll be waiting. I say, planting my lips on his for another kiss, this firmer, my tongue slipping out just enough to get another taste of his honey like blood.  
  
He stands for a moment as if unsure what he wants to do. School or me? I smile and watch as he weighs the decision. In reluctance, he decides he'd better get to school.  
  
Bye, I'll be home around four. And with that he's leaving. I listen as the door opens and closes, and them I'm all alone, standing in the kitchen with the sweetest taste lingering on my tongue.  
  
After a few moments I decide to snoop through the kitchen in the hopes of finding some junk food. Then perhaps I'll watch some sapping daytime television.  
  


...........................  


  
Hikari:  
  
Hey, Asuka! I was starting to worry when you didn't call. You and Shinji left so suddenly, one right after the other... Um... Did you guys have another fight or something? My voice slowly quiets as I speak, the last coming out in a near whisper. I don't want to upset my best friend by letting her personal life be heard by the entire class.  
  
She scowls as she flips her long hair over her shoulder, turning to face me, Yeah, so many things have been happening that I forgot, no offense.  
  
Oh, it's fine. I was just wondering if everything's okay between you and Shinji. I look at her questioningly, hoping she'll answer me.  
  
She sighs, Let's talk about this later okay.  
  
I quickly nod, completely understanding, Of course, Asuka. Maybe we can take a walk through the park after school.  
  
She nods and turns to face forward as the instructor steps into the room. I notice Shinji's missing and I hope he wasn't injured over the weekend or anything.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka remains rather quiet all through class. She doesn't even pass me a single note. Something's most definitely wrong! She never pays this much attention in school.  
  
I finger the ribbon that holds one of my braids in place as I glance over at Toji. He looks as bored as ever, scribbling on the corner of his desk. Beside him, Kensuke's staring at the screen of his laptop, punching a few keys now and then, surfing the net no doubt. The seat in front of Toji is empty.  
  
And just as my thoughts slip to Shinji, he bursts through the door, Sorry I'm late! he says in a breathy voice, slight beads of sweat budding along his hairline. I guess he ran to school.  
  
You're more than ten minutes late Mr. Ikari. The teacher says sternly.  
  
Yeah, I'm sorry... I uh... I fell asleep on the couch last night, and I didn't have my alarm clock... I'm sorry. Shinji's blushing somewhat, looking rather embarrassed. He bows slightly as he apologizes again, standing before the instructor, waiting.  
  
The old man sighs, Fine, take a seat. If you're late like that again, I'm sending you to detention.  
Shinji nods and bows again before hurrying to his desk.  
  


...........................  


  
Lunch is quiet and boring. Toji had to eat in the detention hall and all Kensuke wanted to talk about was fighter planes or some such nonsense. I tried to strike up a conversation with Asuka, but she seemed to be in her own world. Shinji was also quiet, but lately that seemed to be normal.   
  
I decided to take a chance, Hey, Shinji, you feeling better?  
  
He looks up at me confused, his eyebrows crooked at odd angles.  
  
I force back a smile, Well, all last week you seemed kinda down. I was wondering if you were feeling better.  
  
I'm shocked as a smile graces his lips, Hai, I am feeling better. I just wish I hadn't been late. I hate being in front of everyone like that.  
  
Why were you late anyway? Was that couch thing true? Kensuke asks as he takes a huge bite out of his sandwich.  
  
Shinji nods and I turn to my best friend, Hey, Asuka, how come you didn't wake him up?  
  
She glances over, I did.  
  
So, you did throw that book at me? Shinji asks, his hand going to his head as if remembering an injury.  
  
Kensuke and myself bust out in laughter and I notice a smirk creep onto Asuka's face. However, before another word can be spoken, the bell sounds.  
  


...........................  


  
When the final bell rings, Asuka and I rise from our seats along with the rest of the class. Some grab their things and rush out, while others, like ourselves, take their time and exit with what grace one can when leaving school.  
  
Neither of us need to stop by our lockers, and soon we're outside, the afternoon sun warming our skin within seconds. Normally we'd wait here for Shinji so Asuka could make sure he was going home or at least to let one another know when they'd be home. Not today though. Asuka just keeps walking and I almost get left behind.  
  
Our walk to the park is a quiet one. I ask a few questions, trying to spur any kind of conversation, but my best friend seems intent on saving it for the park.  
  
Eventually, we get to our destination, and once there, we head straight for the bench we always sit at, the one across from the basketball court. There are a few boys there already, one with his shirt off. I let my eyes linger for a few moments, and quickly after berate myself. After all, Toji and I are practically going steady now!  
  
Minutes pass and still Asuka remains silent. It's nearing four o'clock and I promised my father I'd be home in time to help my eldest sister cook dinner. After all, I am the best cook in my family.   
  
Before I can initiate the conversation though, Asuka speaks, It's about Shinji.  
  
I turn my full attention to her, a little surprised and slightly confused, What is?  
  
I know why he was depressed last week and why he was late this morning. She says it so strangely. Normally she'd just spit it out and curse until her venting was complete. It just wasn't like Asuka to beat around the bush.  
  
Does this have to do with why you two left the dance so early? I ask, sensing there had been a fight between them.  
  
She sighs and nods, Hikari, you've got to promise that you won't tell a soul, okay? You can't breathe a word!  
  
My brows furrow and I wonder what's with all the secrecy, Of course, Asuka. You know me, I won't tell anyone.  
  
She nods again, That guy Shinji was with at the dance... His date... Well, he's an Angel.  
  
My eyes go wide, You mean, an Angel... As in the monsters?  
  
Yeah, he's the Seventeenth Angel... The last one. He's come back.  
  
Oh my... Asuka, you've got to tell somebody! Misato! You've got to tell Misato all this! I'm almost panicking, my breath coming quick.  
  
Misato knows. Shinji knows. And they want me to keep quiet about it. Her eyes are watering and I can totally understand how difficult this must be for her. I know how badly the Angels damaged her... After all, it was my house she'd stayed at for quite some time during those hard times.  
  
So... Why? Why is it okay for this Angel to be here? Is it because he looks Human? Yeah, why does he look Human?  
  
Asuka shakes her head, I'm not sure why he looks Human, but that's not the reason he's able to stay. I mean, he's probably still dangerous and everything... It's just that, well... Shinji and the Angel are in love, at least, Shinji thinks they are, and Misato thinks it's good for Shinji.  
  
I'm shocked, Shinji and an Angel? That doesn't even makes sense. He fought so hard against the Angels... They hurt him so much... How can he be in love with one?  
  
I don't know. It's so crazy.  
  
I take a deep breath and try to relax, Asuka, you've just got to tell someone.  
  
I'm thinking about it, but... Well, it really seems like this Angel means no harm. As much as I hate him for what he is, I don't think he has any kind of ulterior motives. It's like he's simply obsessed with Shinji. Her voice is like the wind, faint and hard to understand. I have to really pay attention. Now that I take the time to really listen, not only to her words, but to her voice and tone, I notice something. This isn't only about the Angel. In fact, there doesn't appear to be much fear in her at all. I must admit though, fear is coursing strong in my veins. I want nothing to do with an Angel.  
  
She sighs, And Misato sees this. That's why she wants me to keep quiet. Stupid Shinji. How could he fall for one of the enemy? The idiot. She pauses for a moment, her eyes pooling with regret. She quickly blinks it away though, How the hell did that Angel get here anyway?  
  
My voice is flat and yet full of wonder and uncertainty at the same time.  
  
She turns and looks me square in the eyes,   
  
I swallow, There's something else isn't there?  
  
Her eyes widen slightly and that glossy regretfulness reappears, What do you mean?  
  
Shinji... He's the one you're really mad at, isn't it? My eyes narrow and I watch carefully for any kind of reaction. Her mouth opens slightly, then closes, and then opens again. I can tell she wants to scoff at me, to say that of course she's mad at Shinji, when is she not mad at Shinji? Instead, however, her eyes water further, and seconds later a few tears are making trails down her cheeks.  
  
I just don't get it, Hikari. How could he? I was the one he wanted for so long. She's sobbing now and I move close to provide comfort.  
  
But Asuka, you've always hated Shinji. I say it smoothly and calmly, just trying to get answers and better understand what's going in order to comfort her further.  
  
At first... But somewhere along the way... I don't know how... But I... I fell in love with him. Oh, Hikari, how could I have done such a stupid thing. I can barely understand a word she's saying. Her face is pressed against my shoulder, her arms around me, mine around her.   
  
I rub her back soothingly, Is that why this Angel is upsetting you? Because he's with Shinji?  
  
She nods, her face rubbing against my uniform, surely soaking it with tears and snot, Just when I was starting to understand my feelings... This Angel shows up and steals him away from me.  
  
Oh, Asuka... Try and calm down. Maybe if you just talk this out with Shinji... Well, you never know. He may feel the same way, and even if he doesn't... At least you'll know for sure.  
  
She pulls back and sniffs several times, wiping at her eyes and nose, turning her face away,   
  
Minutes pass and I find myself thinking about Shinji. I just can't imagine him with an Angel. It really makes no sense to me. I mean, I thought Shinji killed the last Angel, saved the world. How on Earth could he and the Angel get along, let alone fall for one another? I shake my head and glance at Asuka. She seems to have regained her composure.   
  
I find it strange that the main concern for her is that Shinji's slipped away from her. I mean, there's an Angel here among us. I can't imagine anything more terrifying. I shrug it off though. If neither Asuka, Shinji, or Misato are concerned, I guess there's no reason for me to be. After all, with such things, they are the three people I trust most. Seems they'd no what to fear and what not to fear.  
  
Um... Asuka... You okay now? I ask, leaning forward to look my friend in the eyes. I just see sadness there, perhaps a splash of anger.  
  
She nods, Yeah, sorry about... Everything.  
  
I smile, Don't worry. It's fine... But, I'm going to have to be getting home. My dad wants me home to help with dinner.  
  
She nods again, Oh, sure, no problem.  
  
I stand, Are you going to go home too?  
  
Yeah, in a little while. I want to get my bearings first. She glances up and gives me a quick smile, trying to reassure me that it's okay to leave her alone here.   
  
I smile back, Okay then, see you tomorrow. And with that I turn and begin my walk home. I glance at my watch: 4:26 AM. Great, I'll be home just in time.  
  
As I make my way towards my building, I can't help but worry about my friends. We all had it bad back in those days, but Shinji and Asuka had it the worst. I don't think either of them ever fully recovered, and now more was being thrown at them. If only that stupid Angel hadn't returned.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Asuka said some of the cruelest things to me last night. I didn't even know a person could be so horrible. I'm still not sure what I feel about all of it. Actually, I'm not sure I care. All I care about is Kaworu. I just want to be with him, I don't care about what others think so much anymore.  
  
Today, Asuka just seemed cold. It was almost bearable. Deep down though, it's like there's something else that's bothering her.  
  
I sigh, shaking my head and clearing my thoughts. The front door's in sight and I don't want to burden my lover with all this nonsense.   
  
I begin down the hall, calling, as I step into the kitchen, only to stop dead in my tracks, my cheeks going red instantly. How could I have forgotten? Misato went to work early today, which meant she'd be getting home early. Sure enough, there she say at the kitchen table, wearing a pair of far too short cut off blue jeans and a pink tank top. Beside her sits Kaji. Both of them are grinning at me as if I've done the cutest thing.  
  
Uh, hi. I didn't know you were coming over, Kaji. I say nervously, looking anywhere but at them.  
  
Kaji chuckles and Misato answers, I didn't think it'd be a big deal. Kaji's stayed for dinner a lot lately.  
  
I glance at her to see a twinkle in her eyes. She's messing with me, but still I'm not sure how to respond to such behavior. As I try and think of something to say, soft footsteps coming down the hall gain my attention.   
  
Kaworu's feet are bare and they make the most beautiful sound as they pad closer and closer until he's standing just before me. I look up and into his eyes, and before I have a chance to greet him, he's leaning forward and planting his lips on mine. The kiss is cool and chaste and only lingers for a moment or two.  
  
I thought I was going to go crazy waiting for you. he says quietly in my ear before backing off to greet Misato and Kaji.  
  
My cheeks must be beaming red. They feel like they're on fire. I can't even imagine looking up at this point.  
  
I bought groceries. I was wondering if you'd like to cook dinner or if you'd rather I do it. Misato says, rising from her seat and moving to the cabinets.  
  
Oh, sure... I'll do it. I say, following her to see what all I had to work with.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
The three of us moved to the living room in order to give Shinji space to work. Kaji and I are talking about work and other things and the Angel is just sitting and listening, seemingly interested in our simple lives.  
  
Shinji steps into the room, explaining that he has a few things in the oven and has a moment of free time while they cook.  
  
Then, out of the blue, Kaworu speaks up, I know you. You're the man who gave me directions. His words are directed to Kaji, who in turn smiles.  
  
Yup, I see you found what you were looking for.  
  
The Angel's eyes brighten, Yes, thank you.  
  
There's a moment of awkward silence, and during the moment, Shinji steps further into the room and takes a seat beside Kaworu in a wide arm chair. The Angel's hand goes to Shinji's thigh like a magnet and instantly Shinji's blushing.  
  
Clearing his throat, Shinji somewhat repositions himself, but the Angel's hand never falters, I didn't know you met Kaji.  
  
Kaworu smiles, Yes. I did not recognize him, but he recognized me.  
  
And you asked him for directions over here? I could tell now that Shinji was truly interested, his embarrassment almost fading from his thoughts.  
  
Yes, that's how I was able to come to you door. A smile passed between them and I could see it in both their eyes.  
  
The silence remained, still a bit awkward for me, but it seemed that Shinji was calming. However, just as the thought crossed my mind, his eyes widened and he jumped to his feet, And with that he was bolting out of the room, leaving the rest of us to chuckle after him.  
  
It's so strange for me. Here I am sitting by my lover, enjoying the company of what was once my truest enemy, and I find myself enjoying it. Sure, there are uncomfortable moments, strange silences. It just seems that this Angel holds a wisdom I can't fathom, and that makes it hard to interact with him.  
  
Ms. Katsuragi, is my presence discomforting?  
  
My thoughts break and I look up at the boy. His face is calm, his eyes intense. He's completely serious. I shake my head, still not sure if he's just thinking along the same lines as myself or if he's psychic, No... Well, yes, actually... But that doesn't mean I want you to leave.  
  
His expression transforms into a slow smile,   
  
I find myself smiling as well, It may take some time, but I'll get used to you. Eventually, I'll be comfortable around you.  
  
He nods in agreement, I'm sure you will.  
  
A few tranquil moments pass and Kaji's the one who breaks the silence, I'm guessing your relationship with Shinji is getting pretty serious. It wasn't a question, but it sounded a lot like one to me.  
  
The Angel smiles, I suppose so.  
  
The topic isn't a choice one, but it's one I'd been meaning to get around to, I sort of talked to you two about this last night, but... Well, maybe this relationship is moving too fast.  
  
Kaworu leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, I don't understand.  
  
He seems honestly confused and interested, Well, even considering two years ago... You two have spent less than a months time with one another. Isn't that a little soon to be sleeping together? In the same room, every night?  
  
He contemplates my words only for a few seconds, Time is not important, though I'm sure Shinji would disagree.  
  
I shake my head, No, I mean... Maybe this is all happening too fast. Shinji is Human after all. People aren't capable of knowing exactly what they want in such a short amount of time. If things aren't thought through, he's going to end up hurt and I-  
  
He interrupts me, And you don't want to see that happen?  
  
I nod, and he continues, Do not worry, Ms. Katsuragi. The only reason I even exist is because Shinji wished it so. I am what he wants me to be. If he so desires, I will kill for him, stay with him forever, or even die. It's as simple as that.  
  
I sit back, well, more like fall back. It's so insane. How lucky Shinji is to have someone like Kaworu! I mean, it's just the kind of person he needs. Someone who only thinks of him. I find myself smiling and I'm not sure as to how much time has passed.  
  
The Angel rises from his seat, I'll go see how dinner is coming along. He bows slightly before turning and exiting the room.  
  
I mumble.  
  
Kaji's hands are at my waist, sliding around to place his larger hands over mine, Intense for a couple of teenagers, huh?  
  
I can't help but laugh, Yeah, very intense, but I get the feeling Kaworu's a lot older than we think.  
  
Does it bother you to think of them together? His rough cheek rubs against my smooth one and I lean against him.  
  
Yeah, I don't know why. I guess I'm just worried about Shinji. They're just so different. I can't imagine them getting along and doing things together like you and I. Maybe their relationship is just sexual? My thoughts are my words and they evolve into the possibility. I turn to look Kaji in the eyes, those dark, mysterious brown eyes, What do you think?  
  
I'm instantly angered at the cheerful expression on his face, I think, Katsuragi, that our relationship, in the beginning, was nothing if not sexual.  
  
Oh, shut up! My anger melts instantly. After all, he speaks the truth. And then we're laughing and then he's kissing me.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	10. Love & Hate

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, I know where I'm going with all of this now! ^_^ Yeah! Anyways... So sorry about taking so long with this chapter! I just totally forgot to update, even though I had it written... I have the next chapter written too. I'll post it in a couple of days, after I get a few reviews. ^_~ Well, enjoy! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter X: Love & Hate  
...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Misato had really filled the cupboards. There was anything and everything I could need. So, when I'd pulled out a cookbook earlier, I chose whatever I liked, keeping Kaworu in mind. The potato salad was done as well as dessert, and hurrying into the kitchen, I see that the main dish is also done.  
  
I switch the oven off and remove the pan, placing it atop the stove. As I'm pulling forth plates and glasses and setting the table, Kaworu enters the room, Ms. Katsuragi's really worried about you.  
  
I sigh, I know, she means well. There's enough space at the table for six, but I set only five places, each with three plates for each dish, a glass filled with green tea, a napkin, and a set of chopsticks.  
  
I look up to see my Angel is smiling, obviously in agreement, and just as I'm about to comment on his good looks, I hear the front door open. Asuka. I let my eyes slip closed and take a deep breath, Kaworu, would you mind telling Misato and Kaji that dinner's ready?  
  
He nods and turns to go about his task just as Asuka enters the room, What's all this? she asks, gesturing to the table. I'm using the nicer dishes normally used for special occasions.  
  
Oh, nothing really. Misato went shopping and Kaji's here... So, I thought I'd try and cook up something nice.  
  
She stares at me for a moment, squinting as if she were trying to see past my eyes and into my mind. If she could, she'd see that I'm truly doing all this for Kaworu.  
  
Oh, hey Asuka. I didn't hear you get home. Misato says as she steps into the room along with Kaji and Kaworu.  
  
Small talk ensues as everyone takes a seat. Misato and Kaji sit beside one another while Asuka sits at an end, the end closest to the hall actually, and closest to her room. I go about serving the main dish. Salmon miso-mayo, a tasty fillet doctored up with onions, shiitake mushrooms, cheese, and of course, miso-mayo paste. Then, I heap a generous portion of potato salad on everyone's second plate. A colorful side dish of potatoes, carrots, onions, and cucumber. A little salt, a little sugar, some egg, and voila. I take my seat besides Kaworu, leaving desert a surprise for last.   
  
Shinji, you've really outdone yourself. Misato's words make me blush and I shrug in reply.  
  
It wasn't that hard, really. I glance to the side to see that my Angel is tasting each little thing as if it were something rare, something he'd only get to eat this once. Every bite is slowly chewed and savored. I'm a bit awed.  
  
The rest of dinner is a bit quiet, someone commenting on the day's events or the food's taste now and then, but all together, everyone is rather silent. I swallow the last bite of my potatoes and rise to get dessert. Rice cakes with strawberries. Along with the traditional neri-an, I placed slices of strawberries in the fold of the cakes and decorated the tops each with a half-sliced strawberry. A simple, yet yummy treat. I'm grinning as I pass them around.  
  
Did you think of this yourself? Misato asks as she lifts her dessert before her as if admiring it.  
  
Well, not really. I read that fruit could be added and since you bought strawberries... I just followed a recipe for the cakes. I explain as I take my seat. Within just a few moments everyone is finished and I'm up again clearing plates and such.  
  
Misato and Kaji are each sipping at a beer, leaning back in their chairs. Asuka seems to be upset. She's unusually silent and keeps her gaze downcast. Kaworu is watching me. I don't have to look at him to know it. I can feel his gaze following me about. I'm fairly sure he enjoyed dinner and I'm glad. I just can't wait until we're alone.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
I watch as the Angel's eyes linger on Shinji. Those big red eyes seem utterly transfixed. Kaji's noticed and now we're smiling to one another knowingly. Not so long ago, back in our college days, we used to look at one another in such ways. Kaworu's admiring seems centered on Shinji's body rather than his face, and I think Shinji's noticed. He's blushing like a mad man, trying his best to keep himself occupied.  
  
How about you and me heading over to that little place across the street? Kaji's question pulls my eyes from the boys to him and I smile. The little bar isn't really any good for anything except getting some privacy. They served maybe two brands and that's it, but Kaji and I couldn't very well make-out in front of all these kids.  
  
I nod, Sure. You guys, I'll be back in a little while. The Angel and Asuka nod.  
  
Shinji says as he finishes wiping down the kitchen table.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I watch as Kaji places his hand against Misato's lower back, guiding her down the hall. I wonder what that touch must feel like. Back in those days, it was Kaji's affections I yearned for. Now it's Shinji's. Strange how the ones I fall in love with always fall for another. I hear the door open and close and now I'm alone with the two of them.  
  
Shinji's standing there looking around for something else to do, something else to keep busy rather then return the Angel's stare. It's not hard to miss. The Angel stares as if he's ready to pounce and fuck Shinji right here on the kitchen table.  
  
My voice is small and weak sounding and I hate it.  
  
He glances up rather suddenly as if surprised that I can speak,   
  
I look up and make eye contact, forcing myself to keep cool and appear in control, Can I talk to you? Alone.  
  
He glances from the Angel to me and back again, but the Angel speaks before Shinji can say a word, It's fine. I'll wait in your room. Seconds later he's up and disappearing down the hall.  
  
I wait until I hear the door close before I begin speaking, I talked to Hikari today.  
  
He seems confused and nervous as he takes a seat across from me, watching as if I were about to spout fire or perhaps grow another head.  
  
I know I've been rude to you for a long time, but my mind's totally screwed up and-  
  
It's okay, Asuka, he interrupts, a smile on his face, You don't have to apologize. I understand how hard all of this must be for you.  
  
I grit my teeth and mentally curse him. It takes a few moments, but eventually I calm myself, I'm not apologizing, Shinji. It's just... I realized something the other day and it's part of the reason why all this makes me so... Irritated.  
  
He looks confused again and I'm pleased. I can handle a confused Shinji. He looks down for a moment and fingers the sleeve of his shirt. When he looks up again I glimpse a sadness in his eyes, something I've seen before, but for some reason it makes my heart ache this time.  
  
That Angel scares the shit out of me, but I'm beginning to see that he doesn't plan on screwing with my mind or killing us all.  
  
A smile creeps onto his face.  
  
But I'm still so angry, and it's you I'm angry at.  
  
he asks, the smile fading, his eyebrows high. Confused again.  
  
The reason I can't handle all of this... It's because, I swallow hard and tense up, I'm in love with you.  
  
His eyes go wide and he just stares. For a moment I think maybe time froze, but then I notice the second hand of a wall clock ticking and then, eventually, Shinji blinks.  
  
The word barley manages passed his lips, he looks so shaken and his voice is hardly a whisper.  
  
I liked you at first, when we first met. Then you beat me so easily and I hated you. And then I really hated you. But slowly I began realizing that I love you. I explain quickly, my voice taking on an almost excited tone.  
  
How can you love and hate someone at the same time? he asks, his eyes still wide.  
  
I shrug and await some kind of response. He just sits quiet though. After a few minutes his eyes return to their normal size and he looks anywhere but at me. He's biting his lip and picking at his nails. The minutes continue to pass.  
  
Say something! I finally say, nearly shouting, the tension having become too much for me.  
  
What do you want me to say? That I love you too? I'm sorry, but I just can't do that. His voice seems stern, a rare tone for him.  
  
My eyes water instantly. As ridiculous as it is, that's exactly what I wanted him to say, Why? You used to like me, you used to stare and drool. Why do you love that Angel and not me?  
  
Shinji sighs, I did like you, Asuka, I liked you a lot, but you were really mean. You hated me. I was just doing what everyone kept telling me to do, and you just kept hating me.  
  
I think maybe the tears are running down my cheeks, but I'm not sure. The anger is taking over and pushing sorrow aside, I was really messed up back then, Shinji! I mean, here I am telling you I love you... Are you choosing an Angel over me?!  
  
He sighs again, slumping in his seat, I would love for us to be friends again, Asuka, like we once were, but even if Kaworu weren't here, I don't think I'd choose you. I just don't love you. I'm sorry.  
  
I rise to my feet, my fists slamming down on the table, Don't be stupid! You're choosing him over me. Why?! I don't understand. My anger reaches it's peak and instantly begins draining out of me, as if someone had just pulled the plug. I slump down and sob.  
  
Shinji doesn't say a word. He simply stands and leaves the room, leaves me to cry on my own. Depressing thoughts press on my mind and my body is racked with convulsions. I have no one. Everyone has someone except for me. I worked up the courage and declared my love and he just refused it as if there were no question what-so-ever about the whole matter. Minutes pass and I realize that soon Misato may return, and I am in no mood to be found in such a depressing state. I move to the quiet privacy of my room where I change and flop into bed. I feel horrible. Hate and humiliation bubble and churn in my mind, and when I finally do find sleep, it is more troublesome than restful.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Kaworu is lying in bed butt naked, smiling at me. I close the door behind me and step into the peaceful darkness, the lights off, the air still. I feel a calmness here in my private space, and yet, it seems that it's this very calmness that draws forth my frustrations.  
  
Like a child, my throat hitches and at once I'm sobbing. I move quickly to the bed and Kaworu's open arms. He's no longer smiling, his brows drawn together, worry evident on his fine features.  
  
Has something happened? He asks, pulling me closer and closer until I'm forced to move into his lap. Strange, his comfort, as wonderful as it is, makes me cry harder. I pull my knees to me in a fetal position and try my hardest to calm down.  
  
Time passes and eventually my tears run dry, I love you, Kaworu.  
  
His hold on me tightens, What happened?  
  
I sigh, leaning my head against his shoulder, slouching in order to press my cheek to his bare chest, Asuka... She told me she loved me. She wanted me to choose her over you.  
  
Do you love her? His question holds no anger or sorrow. It's calm and nearly clinical.   
  
It scares me and I pull out of his embrace, looking him in the eyes, No. I love you, only you.  
  
He smiles and I can't help but wonder if he's relieved. I lean my head back down and pull his arms around me again, But she was really upset when I told her I didn't love her. I'm scared, Kaworu.  
  
He rests his cheek against my head and I can feel the coolness of his skin through my hair, Are you frightened she'll try to separate us?  
  
I nod against him, All she'd have to do is tell the right people and... It would be over for us. Not to mention her... Kami, if you could have only seen how hopeful she looked! I almost felt sorry for not loving her.  
  
Try not to worry. What happens will happen and we can only be together while we can. His words are soft and I nod in understanding. After all, it's the truth.   
  
After a few moments, I breathe in deep and sigh, finally feeling a little better about the whole situation. Cold hands come to my neck and begin unbuttoning my shirt. I smile and watch those pale hands work as if doing something that had been done a thousand times before. My shirt discarded onto the floor, I slowly turn in my lover's arms, We can't.  
  
Kaworu leans close, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, We'll just have to be quiet.  
  
I swallow and nod. I just can't argue with him, and at this point, I don't care if we're discovered or heard. I want him so bad it aches. Our lips meet and the kiss is far from graceful. My pants and shorts are removed with lustful urgency and they're off before I know what's going on.  
  
Wait, wait. I gasp, my voice breathy in an attempt to keep quiet.  
  
Kaworu stops instantly and watches me carefully for any signs of discomfort or emotional distress.  
  
I rise from the bed and move to the door. Kaworu looks at me strangely and I suspect he thinks I'm about to exit the room in my birthday suit. However, that's certainly not what I have in mind and I flip the light switch on, flooding the room in a soft luminous glow. I'm biting my lip as I return to the bed, I want to see you.  
  
He smiles and pulls me playfully into his arms, Am I so beautiful? he teases, rolling me until he's on top.  
  
I instantly become serious, Hai, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I knew that the first time I met you. He's become serious as well, leaning down to kiss my forehead chastely.  
  
Biting my lip again, I push upwards slightly, maneuvering my weight in order to roll Kaworu onto his back. I'm successful and now I'm looking down at him, his hair tousled, his eyes staring, his lips begging my attention. The kiss is slow and drawn out. I memorize the inside of his mouth with my tongue. I want to memorize all of him. I move down, planting wet kisses along his jaw and down to his neck, resting my tongue over the place his pulse beats strongest. It's like a gentle tapping or perhaps the timed rhythm of a butterfly's wing, beating against the soft, pale flesh. My hard on aches and I groan quietly as I press my groin against his thigh. He lifts his leg somewhat, applying pressure and causing me to lose myself for a moment.  
  
I blink several times and find that my lips are secured to one of his nipples, my teeth gently worrying it while my fingers work with the other. The skin of the pert little nubs is slightly darker but only slightly. Unlike myself, his body is practically hairless with the exception of his head. I run my tongue down the smooth expansion from chest to stomach, pausing to explore his navel. As I dip my tongue into the shallow dip, I think how for myself and others, it was once a source of nourishment and attachment to our mothers while still in the womb. It makes me wonder how Kaworu was created and developed and born. I try to log the questions away for another time.  
  
In the mean time, I find myself worshiping my way further down. The skin beneath his navel is taught and inviting. I linger here, trying to define my lover's fabulous taste. My administrations are halted by the surprise of fingers in my hair, gently pushing downward and the sound of his whispered voice, Nn... Shinji, please... I can't wait much longer.  
  
I nearly grin. My heart fills with happiness at my ability to please my lover. No need to make him wait any longer though. His fingers remain in my hair as I take his erection into my mouth for the first time. I'm not exactly positive what I'm doing, but I take my time and try to remember the things Kaworu did when doing the same deed on myself. I'm forced to hold his hips down and in mere moments he's coming. I swallow and imagine the pearly white liquid mingling with the strawberries from dinner.  
  
He's panting as I pull back, his eyes closed, his arms falling limp to his sides. I am grinning now. His arousal has returned to it's flaccid state and I'm reminded of the erection throbbing between my legs.  
  
It's harder than I thought, trying to keep quiet. Kaworu whispers, his breathing finally returning to normal.  
  
I sit back on my knees and wait for him to regain his composure. Slowly, he sits up and smiles before rolling over onto his stomach. I reach forward and place my warm palms to his ass, sliding the touch up to the small of his back as I move closer. I lean down, my mouth near his ear, Are you sure?  
  
He chuckles,   
  
I remember our first experience. It was raw and wonderful, but I also remember our second time and the added pleasure of lubricant. Though the first time had been completely amazing, I don't trust myself what-so-ever and the last thing I want to do is cause Kaworu pain or discomfort. I quickly move to my closet and retrieve the somewhat large tube from it's hidden place. It had been an embarrassing moment having to purchase it, but it was worth it.  
  
Returning to the bed, I slowly and carefully prepare myself as well as my lover. Being within him is something incredible and I feel as if the sensation will be with me forever. I quickly learn of a secret place that causes Kaworu to clench his fists in the sheets. Now and then a muffled moan escapes his lips and I pray Asuka isn't hearing this. My pleasure escalates and soon I find it more than difficult to keep quiet.  
  
I pick up the pace and moments later I sense him coming again. A tightness envelopes me and seconds later I too am coming. I collapse atop my lover, utterly exhausted, I breathe, pushing myself over and to the side to lie beside him.  
  
He turns somewhat, his eyes half-lidded with passion as mine surely are, Shall we get some sleep? He whispers after a minute or two.  
  
I nod, leaning up just enough to pull a sheet and a thin blanket up over us, the light above us left on.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
It's been two days since I last spoke with Shinji and every night after I've lied awake in my room listening to the sounds of their hushed love making. I can stand it no longer. I know I told Misato I'd stay quiet, but I just can't anymore. If it's true what Shinji said... That he wouldn't have me even if there weren't anyone else, then I'll just have to live with that, but that doesn't mean I can sit by while he's with another. If he can stand the presence of an Angel, why can't he stand me? I know it doesn't make much sense, but if Shinji won't have me, he won't have anyone else either. I've made up my mind.  
  
I know Shinji hasn't been keeping track with things involving his father and the rest of the Nerv personnel, and I'm glad for it. I've always been slightly interested in it all, and since the end of Nerv, Misato's let me in on a few key things that happen now and then.  
  
Misato let this one little detail slide though. I got the mail this morning and allowed myself to peek into my guardian's unmarked envelope. A letter concerning Gendo Ikari. Bingo.  
  
Something about the instruments and what not going haywire lately. I quickly reread the letter. Seems their computers have been slightly off, reacting to something. They go on to ask Misato to return in order to help in research. I know already she'll decline so there's no need to worry about getting the letter to her. And then I'm shocked to see that the address looks familiar... The city! This new organization is located in the Shin Section! The letter is signed with a stamp: Government Science & Research Lab. And beneath that there's a signature: Gendo Ikari.  
  
I'm utterly amazed. When I took the envelope this morning, I didn't look at it so closely, just figured it as a start to my search. However, fate, it seems, has lain everything out before me. All I need do now is go there.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
Hey, you look wiped out. I say as I approach the benches conveniently placed between two buildings in a little paved clearing.  
  
The long legged beauty sitting there alone glances up and forces a smile, Didn't get much sleep last night. She says through a sigh, sucking at a cigarette.  
  
I move to sit beside her, placing my hand on her bare knee, Whose the new man?  
  
She laughs and I feel my heart lift, Kaji... No, it's just that...  
  
I smile knowingly, The boys at it again?  
  
She laughs again, sighing, Yeah. I can tell they're trying to keep quiet, but Kami... I never imagined Shinji making those noises.  
  
I make a face, rather disliking the image in my head, I feel sorry for you.  
  
She looks up rather suddenly, placing her hand over mine, No. I'm happy for him. I'd just like to get some sleep.  
  
You could always come stay at my place. I whisper, leaning in to place a chaste kiss in the shell of her ear.  
  
She pulls back, placing a finger to my chest and gently pushing me back, I really wouldn't get any sleep then!  
  
I'm laughing now,   
  
A few moments pass, I bum a cigarette from her, finding intimacy in the way she moves close to light it for me. I decide to break the news at this moment, Have you heard?  
  
Her piercing eyes flick to mine, Her tone is all at once serious and frightened.  
  
He's in Tokyo along with several other former Nerv employees, researching nonsense mostly, but some of their equipment started acting up lately. They sent out letters to you, Ritsuko, and a few others.  
  
Her eyes are wide, I didn't get a letter.  
  
I shrug, Whether or not you're getting your mail isn't the issue here. I know they don't know about Kaworu, but they suspect Angel activity. Gendo's pushing for more funds.  
  
Her eyes are shaken, glancing about nervously, No, that's not true. The government dismissed all Angel research after the Seventeenth Angel.  
  
I gently rest my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to both calm and comfort her, No, they didn't. There are a few instruments left to monitor anything remotely similar to Angel activity 24/7.  
  
She jerks away and turns to glare at me, And when were you planning to tell me that?!  
  
Seconds later she's on her feet, pacing nervously. I rise as well, Katsuragi, get a grip! What difference would it have made?  
  
Tears well up in her eyes, Maybe if they move. The States! Surely they'd be safer there. She's standing before me now, her hands gripping my forearms, staring at me with hope and fear.  
  
I shake my head, No, they can't run or hide from this. I suggest you just keep quiet and let them be happy while they can.  
  
The tears are free flowing now and her body goes limp so suddenly that I find myself on my knees, cradling her against me, she sobs, He's been through so much. Why can't life ever work out for him?  
  
I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, trying the best I know how to ease her sorrow.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	11. A Whisper On The Wind

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Later in this chapter I insert some song lyrics for no good reason really. But, for those of you who are interested, the song is Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. Well, enjoy the chap!!!! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XI: A Whisper On The Wind  
...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
The house is quiet when I get home. It's kind of late. I stayed after work to talk more with Kaji. My eyes are still puffy but I doubt the kids will notice.  
  
What would you do if I were to die?  
  
My eyes go wide. That was Kaworu's voice! I tiptoe to the living room, glancing in to see the boys lying together on the couch, shirtless, arms wrapped about one another. They both appear calm and content.  
  
What do you mean? Shinji asks, his head tilting up to look at his lover. I follow the gaze and I'm shocked to see Kaworu looking right at me. Quickly, I pull myself from the doorway and remain out of sight.  
  
If I were to die... What would you do? Kaworu says, repeating his question. I know he saw me, but he says nothing of it. I remain there, leaning against the wall, unknowingly holding my breath.  
  
Then I hear Shinji's voice, I'd die.  
  
I let out my breath in a quivering sigh. So intense! I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. No! I will not cry! I step forward and set my stuff down on the kitchen table, taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself.  
  
I'm home. I finally say, listening as feet come closer.   
  
Hey, you're home late. You hungry? Kaworu and I already ate. Shinji's smiling and he looks utterly beautiful.  
  
I nod, Is Asuka home?  
  
He too nods, Yeah, but she didn't eat. She's been really quiet today, even in school. His expression is glum and I see a twinkle of guilt in his eyes. He shakes his head though and looks away as he moves to retrieve something from the refrigerator.  
  
I take a seat and Kaworu sits diagonal from me, Did something happen? I ask.  
  
Shinji places a bowl in the microwave, She... She told me she loves me. He says, whispering.  
  
My eyes widen. No! I can't believe it! First one thing, then another! Poor Asuka. I sensed she had feelings for Shinji long ago, but since... Everything, I assumed they no longer existed.  
  
Shinji moves to take a seat across from me, pushing the bowl and a beer across the table, Here you go, it's just a noodle casserole.  
  
I nod my thanks and eat in silence. Now and then a word is passed between Kaworu and Shinji, but on a whole the room remains rather quiet. Eventually, I'm finished with my meal and I look up to see that Shinji's still smiling, Well, we're going to get to bed. He says, the two of them rising from their seats.  
  
I say, causing both of them to stop and turn, Kaworu, can I talk to you?  
  
The Angel glances to Shinji first, as if asking for permission. Shinji nods, still smiling, and turns to go to his room. I watch carefully as the light-haired boy takes a seat near me, politely waiting for me to start.  
  
I sigh, You know, don't you?  
  
He smiles, I have for some time. Lilim technology is rather amazing. I didn't doubt that they'd discover me sooner or later.  
  
But what about Shinji? I ask, my voice, although hushed, sounding more than desperate.  
  
You heard moments ago, didn't you? He said he will die if I die.  
  
You can't go by that. He doesn't understand the situation, and even if his death is the ultimate outcome of your death, how much suffering will he endure first? It sounds like I'm begging and I'm not sure I care. I'm leaning forward, my eyes pleading with his for some sort of solution.  
  
True, but Shinji wished me here in the first place. His prayer was heard and he got what he wanted despite what the results may be. His words are calm and quiet but oh so harsh to my ears.  
  
Tears threaten my eyes again, I just don't know what to do. I sob, my hands going over my mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound.  
  
He smiles and leans forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. His touch is cool, nearly cold. I wonder how Shinji can take the strange temperature of the Angel's skin during their love making. Suddenly, however, I feel a sort of peace settle over my mind and I yank back, What are you doing? He doesn't answer, Don't mess with my mind. My voice is stern.  
  
His smile fades slightly, Do not worry Ms. Katsuragi, this was Shinji's choice. Although it may not seem like it, this is what he wants. He's happy. You should be happy as well. He waits a few moments to see if I have anything else to say, but I can think of nothing. In all honestly, there's nothing to say.  
  
He rises from his seat, bows slightly and turns to go, Could you please tell Shinji to come here. I say, my voice barely a whisper.  
  
He pauses for a moment but does not turn,   
  
I'm left alone and I'm thankful for it. I try to gather my thoughts, wondering if the Angel is in fact going to send Shinji in here as I asked. What on Earth should I say though? I think Kaji's right, I should let them be happy with whatever time they have left, but the Angel knows. Will Kaworu tell Shinji? And then, will Shinji in turn be angry with me for not speaking up? I shake my head, this is no time to worry about myself and whether or not anyone will be mad at me. I sigh. I won't say anything. It's not my fault Kaworu knows, and if he thinks it's necessary, he'll tell him. If not, all the better for Shinji. The poor boy needs as much time to be happy as possible.  
  
Sure enough, I hear feet and turn to see Shinji approaching, a deep blush staining his cheeks. He and Kaworu must have had a moment, Hey, Misato... Is everything okay? He asks, sitting across from me.  
  
I smile and nod, Yeah... It's just that, well... I know you and Kaworu are close and I was thinking the two of you would like a night away. I'm not sure if he catches my drift until I notice the blush furthering.  
  
I smile, It's cool out tonight... I was thinking the two of you would like to spend the night somewhere. I could get you a hotel-  
  
He interrupts me, No, there's a place I know of where we could stay. His smile is broad and it lightens my heart. The poor boy. All this time we've spent together, I think of him like a son. It breaks my heart to think what his future holds. I want him to be happy though, and I want him to be able to be with Kaworu without the worries of Asuka or myself interrupting or disrupting.  
  
I cock my head to the side, my eyebrows drawing together,   
  
His smile stays as he rises from his seat, Can we go tonight? I promise to come back in the morning to have breakfast and go to school.  
  
His voice seems a bit urgent and I can't help but chuckle, Sure. Just be careful out there okay.  
  
He nods and hurries off to his room.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
Shinji practically bounces into the room, Misato suggested we go somewhere for the night! He says in an excited yet hushed voice, I was thinking the apartment upstairs... What do you think?  
  
I smile, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on my lover's forehead, It sounds delightful.  
  
Shinji grins before beginning his hurried packing. He grabs blankets and pillows and clothes, stuffing them rather forcefully into a duffel bag. I watch in amusement as he tries his hardest to zip it up with no success. He sighs and then his eyes light up as if he's thought of something nearly forgotten. I watch as he turns to the closet, retrieving the tube of lubricant hidden there. I can't help but smile.  
  
I guess that's everything. He says, hefting the large bag onto his narrow back.  
  
I nod and seconds later we're heading down the hall. We bid Ms. Katsuragi goodbye and I detect the strongest of sorrows seeping from her pores. I know the relationship between her and Shinji is much like that of a mother and her child, but there is nothing she can do... Except this. I believe it's her way of offering Shinji a last minute happiness. I can't blame her, and in all honesty, I appreciate it. The ordeal we'll have to endure will be a strain on our hearts and a night to reinforce them will help undoubtedly.  
  
We take the elevator to the top floor. The apartment is unlocked and once inside, Shinji locks it. The air is cool and still and I feel welcome here. The large chunk missing from the living area's ceiling is a wonder to behold. The night is bright and above a nearly full moon shines with a natural radiance new to even me. The sky itself is a sort of indigo, dotted with only a handful of twinkling stars. I glance to my right to find that Shinji's dropped the bag and is now admiring the view as well. I smile. He is so right for me, and I tell him so.  
  
He smiles, Let's move the bed in here.  
  
The task isn't an easy one, but we have it done soon enough. Seconds later the bedding is unpacked and thrown on the bed along with our naked forms, our clothes discarded wherever. We both lie on our backs, staring up at the beauty before us.  
  
I always think of you when I see the moon. Shinji says, his voice small and breathy like it usually is after sex, however, we have yet to have sex.  
  
I turn my head and look at my lover, Why is that?  
  
You glow like that and you're pale like that. He says, his words aren't the most elegant, but I still feel moved. When I had spotted this particular moon, I'd thought it's luster beautiful.  
  
I smile, Even this bright moon reminds me of you? I ask, teasingly, openly fishing for compliments.  
  
He doesn't smile, That day... When I killed you... I guess cause you were using your... Powers, or whatever, you were glowing like that. I always wonder how I'd been able to destroy something so beautiful. A few tears leaks down from my lover's eyes and I watch, marveled.  
  
Kaworu, why did you ask me what I'd do if you were to die? His voice is shaky and I can tell he's trying to control himself, trying to keep from breaking down and sobbing.  
  
I turn and lean up on my elbow, looking down at my love, It may happen soon. I whisper, watching as his composure melts and his expressions bunches and the tears free flow.  
  
He sniffs, But... I thought we'd be together forever.  
  
I lean down quickly, placing my hands on either side of his face, And we will love.  
  
He visibly calms, I don't understand.  
  
Death is not the end, Shinji. Kami gave to you for all your suffering me, and he can't and won't take me back from you. Though death may come for us, we won't be separated. My voice is serious, almost stern, and he listens, really listens.  
  
But if one of us dies and the other doesn't-  
  
I interrupt him, my voice much softer now, That's the only way. If our love isn't strong enough... If you don't die when I die, it will be like you're throwing Kami's gift back in his face and he will not let us be together after that.  
  
I see realization dawn in his eyes and a smile graces his face, You don't have to worry about that.  
  
I smile as well, leaning down further and placing my lips upon his, letting our emotions pass between us. I lick away his tears and move to pleasure him further with my tongue. Our love making is slow and deep, intense with our need to become one, to feel one another fully. We come together in every way possible, his body heat warming the both of us.  
  
During a moment while we are resting, we hear a sound coming from below. It's music. The base is deep and strong and thruming like a gigantic heart. Drums speed the beat up only slightly, simply ensuring blood flow.  
  
Someone's really got their stereo loud. Shinji whispers, almost like he doesn't want to disturb this wonderful sound.  
  
I close my eyes and move against my love, my lips finding his as if they were a part of myself. Then there's a voice in the music, a young man's voice, and it's sexy as hell.  
  
  
_ And I'm talking to myself at night  
Because I can't forget  
Back and forth through my mind  
Behind a cigarette_  
  
  
The music comes to life with the sounds of a guitar talentedly dancing and spiraling upward. My movements speed up and I find myself wanting to be inside Shinji while this song is playing. The music slows to it's previous state and as do I.  
  
  
_ And if I catch it coming back my way  
I'm gonna serve it to you  
And that ain't what you want to hear,  
But that's what I'll do_  
  
  
The words don't really mean anything to me. They're meaningful of course, but just as interesting as many other things. That's not what appeals to me though. The young man's voice speaks them with such honesty and truth, and he really means what he says. He's not just reading the lyrics or saying words he's long since memorized for the sake of the music industry. It's pure, and it's perfect.  
  
  
_ And I'm bleading, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding  
Right before the lord  
All the words are gonna bleed from me and I will think  
No more  
  
And the stains coming from my blood  
Tell me to go back home_  
  
  
Seconds later the music is at it's fast pace again and I find that I am too. The song ends and I'm coming, Shinji having come moments ago. I droop, my body limp like a plucked flower, draping over my lover.  
  
Shinji's laughing, I guess you liked that song.  
  
I can't help but laugh as well, Hai, I have always loved music.  
  
He wraps his arms and legs around me, trying to attain as much contact as possible, perhaps even trying to merge his being with mine, I love you, Kaworu. I love you so much it hurts.  
  
I kiss his forehead, a sloppy wet kiss, I know.  
  
The rest of the night is spent making love and worshiping one another's bodies. We use up all the lubricant, the empty tube thrown across the room as we move to come together without it. The tenant below continues to play all sorts of glorious music, but nothing like that first song. I don't believe I'll ever forget it.  
  
And just before the sun rises, Shinji falls asleep in my arms, his body utterly exhausted. However, he'd instructed me to wake him come morning, and so I place my hands upon his shoulders, shaking gently.  
  
My love, you must wake. It's morning. My words are gentle and even when I make them stern, they don't work. I resort to pressing my mind against his in an almost discomforting manner.   
  
His eyes blink open, What's going on?  
  
I smile, It's morning.  
  
He gazes up at the sky to confirm my statement, I guess we better go have breakfast then.  
  
I nod and we both move to clothe ourselves.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
I'm up early for a change and even more suprising is that I don't have to be. I don't go to work until later. I prepare an easy breakfast: Instant ramen. Just about the only thing I know how to make.  
  
I smile to Asuka and she looks at me strangely as she accepts her breakfast. Her behavior just isn't normal though. Usually she'd compain and gripe about one thing or another, always grumpy in the mornings, but she's silent. She doesn't even ask where Shinji is or tell me goodbye as she rises from the table and leaves. Not a word.   
  
I'm somewhat baffled but let it slide. Shinji mentioned Asuka confessing her love. Surely Shinji had to refuse her. No doubt she's just feeling rejected. Once everything calms down, I need to remember to sit down and talk to her.  
  
Speaking of Shinji, the front door's opened and he steps into the room, still smiling. He and Kaworu accept their breakfast happily and eat it all, each of them taking seconds. I can't help but grin. They must have used up a lot of energy. As I clear the plates I listen to their small talk. My heart aches with the cuteness of it.  
  
You better get going if you don't want to be late. Asuka left already. I say as I return to the table.  
  
Shinji sighs and rises, Yeah, I guess so. See ya when I get back. He says, the last bit directed to Kaworu.  
  
I watch in total awe as Shinji leans over and places a chaste kiss upon the Angel's lips. They smile at one another and then Shinji's heading for the door. Moments later and Kaworu and myself are alone in the apartment.  
  
Is there anything you need? I'm going to be here for a while, I don't leave for work until one. I say, watching as the boy turns his full attention to me. His movements are so strange, like liquid. It reminds me of the way oil moves amongst water.  
  
His smile is wide, his eyes narrowed in happiness. He shakes his head, No thank you. I'm going to head back upstairs and wait for Shinji to get home.  
  
I ask, a little confused. Then I realize that's where the two of them must have spent last night.  
  
He says nothing, only smiles further, and I know he's thinking of last night, You've got nearly eight hours to wait... Are you sure there isn't anywhere you need to go or something you need? I ask again, making my offer clear.  
  
He cocks his head to the side, Are you going shopping?  
  
I lean back in my chair and nod.  
  
His smile fades somewhat as he thinks it over, May I come along?  
  
I nod again, Sure. Let me go get dressed though. I say as I rise from my seat. I gulp down the last of my coffee before starting off down the hall. I would just die before I'd go out in daisy dukes and a tank top.  
  
Will we be home before Shinji? I have to be here when he gets back.  
  
I stop and turn, smiling at the love struck boy, Yeah. I have to be at work at one, so that means I gotta be here by twelve at least. Don't worry. I wait until his smile returns before I head on down the hall to my room.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I make it in time and I'm seated long before the morning bell sounds.I'm thankful for it. I don't know if I could handle another scene in front of the class. I glance over to see that all my friends are present... Toji, Kensuke, Hikari... But where's Asuka? Misato said she'd left before me. Then why isn't she here yet? My brows furrow and I wonder at where the red-head could be. I shrug it off though.  
  


...........................  


  
First half is long and boring and I find myself doodling the time away, thinking mostly of Kaworu, of his thin lips and his strong hands. My pencil scratches across the paper creating a number of hearts and arrows and wings and hands. I try my hand at drawing my lover's eyes, but I fail miserably. Maybe if I had something red. As I turn to quietly dig through my satchel, the bell sounds and I nearly jump out of my seat, knocking my spiral off my desk and spilling half the contents of my bag.  
  
Kami, Shinji... Why so jumpy? Kensuke teases as he kneels to help me gather my things.  
  
Toji tromps over and lifts my purple spiral from the floor, the page I was working on flipping open, What's this? He asks, his eyebrows shooting up.  
  
Oooh! I know, this is that guy you were with at the dance! Isn't it? It is, isn't it?  
  
My cheeks are burning and I remain silent as I reach for the notebook.  
  
Toji, don't be so mean! Hikari scolds, yanking my spiral from her boyfriend's hands. She doesn't hand it over though, instead she stops and looks at my doodling.  
  
We're the only one's left in the room except for two girls in the opposite corner busily gossiping. I swallow and glance nervously to the floor.  
  
It's true then. She whispers, seemingly talking to herself. I remain silent and wonder what all Asuka told her. She reaches forward and returns my spiral and I quickly stuff it in my satchel.  
  
Am I missing something? What guy at the dance? Kensuke says breaking the silence.  
  
The Tanabata Dance... Shinji took this albino guy as a date. Toji explained as we all headed for the roof.  
  
While the three of them sat on a bench, I walked to the edge and leaned against the railing. It really didn't seem like we were very far up, but I knew if I fell, I'd be dead.  
  
Shinji, you're gay? Kensuke's voice is laced with wonder and disbelief. I simply shrug.  
  
Well, why didn't you tell us? He goes on to ask.  
  
Yeah, why don't you introduce us to the guy? Toji adds.  
  
I turn, a smile on my lips, I should. He'd like that.  
  
Ahh! Our Shinji's in love! Look at that face! They call out in unison, their teasing continuing for another five minutes while I stand by and blush. I'm glad for it. If only things could stay this way for always, but my mind is weighted... It's likely my Angel may perish soon and that means I will too.  
  
Hikari, after finishing her neat little lunch, speaks up, What's his name?  
  
I blink back into reality, Huh? Oh... Kaworu. Kaworu Nagisa.  
  
She smiles only slightly, Do you love him?  
  
At first I think she's teasing, but I quickly realize she's not. Toji and Kensuke catch on as well and they seem to be patiently awaiting a serious answer to her question. I can't help but blush,   
  
Another five minutes of teasing and pestering and we're back to finishing up lunch. There are only a few minutes left in lunch and just having realized this, Toji and Kensuke are busily scarfing down their meals, which leaves Hikari and I to talk as she comes to stand by me near the rail.  
  
You're not going to eat? She asks.  
  
I shrug, I didn't have time to make a lunch. No big deal.  
  
she says, her voice suddenly becoming low and serious, I know everything about Kaworu, Asuka told me. Are you sure you know what you're doing?  
  
I sigh, turning my gaze out towards the city, He's the only thing that makes me happy. And it seems to work the other way around too. So, I don't really care what he is.  
  
She nods, I understand, but are you sure he's not dangerous?  
  
I turn to look at her now, No. I'm not really sure about anything except the way I feel, and I'd risk it all to stay the way I feel now.  
  
Has Asuka talked to you yet?  
  
I give her a questioning look, not exactly positive on what she's refering to.  
  
She rolls her eyes, Did she tell you how she feels?  
  
My expression softens instantly, Yeah, but I just don't feel that way for her... I mean, she's always hated me.  
  
She nods, I understand, but... Well, do you think that's why she's not here today?  
  
I guess. She didn't take it too well. I mumble, leaning over further, resting my chin upon my hands upon the railing.  
  
Hey! What are you two talking about over there? Toji asks, his voice loud and playful, Well, I guess I don't have to worry about you stealing my girl do I, Shinji?  
  
Oh shut up. Hikari grumbles playfully.  
  
You guys! I think the bell already rang! Kensuke calls and in a rush they're all hurring to the door to downstairs. I can't help but smile. My friends. I'm glad to have them. I start for the door but stop when I hear a whisper on the wind.  
  
It's not really a sound, but a sensation, a tickle in my soul. I move closer to the rail again, leaning out as if straining to hear. I feel it again, cool fingers dipping down into me and caressing me from the inside out. Kaworu. I smile and close my eyes, experimenting, trying to warm that beautiful essence with my Human being.  
  
Hey! Shinji, what are you doing?! The warning bell's gonna go off any second now! Toji's voice breaks my concentration and I blink for a few seconds. What was that? Before my thoughts go much further, I hear the bell sound.  
  
Shit! Now we're late. Are you happy? Toji grabs my arm and practically drags me toward the door and down the stairs. Moments later I'm chuckling at his anger, unable to hide my amusement. Plus, I suddenly have such a good feeling in myself. The class looks at us like we're nuts when we enter laughing our heads off.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	12. An Angel's Tear

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Well, here we go with much angst and saddness to follow... Don't be discouraged though, I plan for this fic to (in one way or another) have a happy ending. Sorry if that spoiled it for any of you! Heh heh... Anyway, enjoy! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XII: An Angel's Tear  
...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
My eyes sting for some reason. I rub at them as I approach the immense, shining building. It looks innocent enough from the outside, but inside... I know this place holds more danger for me than perhaps even the Angel.  
  
I approach, smoothing my wind-ruffled hair with my hands as I step through the entrance. A large, square-shaped man opens a door for me and I step inside. Many eyes turn to me. Surely they're all curious as to the reasoning for a girl in a school uniform to be in such a place.   
  
Taking a deep breath, I start towards a woman behind a desk. She looks up from her work and seems a bit surprised and confused, Yes? May I help you?  
  
I nod, I need to speak with Mr. Ikari.  
  
Her lips, nearly dripping with lipstick, pull wide into a grin, I think not. Mr. Ikari doesn't have to time to talk to school girls... No matter how pretty they may think they are.   
  
I nearly growl, slapping a hand down on her desk, I assure you... He'll want to talk to me.  
  
The woman was more than startled by the semi-violent act. Her eyes wide, she slowly begins reaching for the phone. I notice two large men approaching, guards no doubt. I sigh, Just tell him it's Asuka Langley Sohryu.  
  
Not minutes later was Gendo Ikari coming forward from having just exited an elevator, What are you doing here? He asks rudely.  
  
I can't help but smirk, feeling my spite and hate for this man allowing no weakness to show, I have information about something I'm sure you and your goons will be interested in.  
  
His eyes narrow and I remember again why I once feared this man's power. He dismisses my rudeness as if it hadn't even occurred. Instead, I sense somewhere behind his glasses he's contemplating what I could possibly know. It takes him only seconds to decide that whatever information I have is worth hearing, and he gestures for me to follow him back to elevator. Although I don't feel I've made much of an impression on Shinji's father, I'm glad to see that the woman at the desk and the guards are staring open-mouthed. Surely they've never seen a mere teenager insult their employer so.  
  
The elevator doors close though and I'm alone in such a small space with him. I feel uneasy, and I'm more than thankful when the doors finally open. We must be pretty high up, it took quite a while to get here.  
  
The room we step into is far too clean, men and women everywhere in white lab coats. Ikari walks briskly down the middle of the room. There are desks and computers everywhere and I wonder how many trees were put to death for all the papers that litter nearly every flat surface. I blink back into the moment though and I hurry to catch up.  
  
There's an office of glass at the back of the large room and as we enter, I find that we're not alone. Two men, both in white coats, stand and give me strange looks. One is tall with piercing green eyes while the other is short and stockier, his face far too dull for my eyes to linger.  
  
Gendo takes a seat behind a desk and the two men sit in nearby chairs. I take a look around and decide I'd rather stay standing. If anything should go wrong, I feel comfort in thinking that I may be able to run and escape.  
  
Well, what is it that you know? he asks, his voice deep and demanding.  
  
I narrow my eyes, I demand that you not harm or involve either Shinji or myself. I won't say a word until you give me that much.  
  
Nothing you know is important enough to involve either of you. He says and I wonder if he's rolling his eyes, his tone suggests it.  
  
I know there's an Angel in the city, and I know where.  
  
Everyone in the room instantly sits up, and Gendo's smirking, Very well then... You have my word that I will do everything within my power not to harm or involve either Shinji or yourself in this matter.  
  
Now I'm smirking, It's the Seventeenth Angel. He's returned.  
  
Green eyes leans forward, How is that possible?  
  
I shrug, He's been here for some time.  
  
The dull man asks, his voice rough like sandpaper.  
  
Gendo's voice is slight and the word is sharp.  
  
I nod, Yes, he's been with Shinji. They are _together_.  
  
Gendo tilts his head forward and his glasses slide down his nose only slightly, but just enough to reveal his hard eyes, blue like Shinji's, exactly like Shinji's, My son and an Angel? Ah... I see now. The jealousy of a woman... No doubt you want this Angel dead and out of your way.  
  
He's fucking with me now and I know it, It's true, I won't deny it.  
  
He leans back, pushing his glass back up on his nose, his smirk furthering, Very well then. I'm assuming we might find him at Ms. Katsuragi's apartment?  
  
I nod, taking a mini step back.  
  
Oh, I must ask that you remain here until the Angel is captured and restrained. He says, suddenly standing and moving towards me, We wouldn't want you running off to give warning in a last minute change of heart.  
  
I sigh, knowing that if I just cooperate where this is concerned, I have better chances of his word being kept in the future,   
  
In a swoop of movement, the three men are out of the office barking orders in all directions. People begin scurrying like ants and I find it somewhat amusing. In moments there are two guards approaching, no doubt my bodyguards while everyone heads off on the Angel hunt.  
  
Turning, I decide that perhaps a chair is in order. As I take a seat, my two guards exchange looks before copying my movements and sitting on either side of me. In no more than an hour, the place is devoid of life except for the three of us.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
I dig through my closet, finding that there's hardly anything suitable. Kaworu and I returned from shopping no more than an hour ago. He left in favor of the mysterious place I didn't buy much. Some cigarettes, a CD, a few groceries, toilet paper, etc. However, I did much window shopping and admired more than twenty lovely outfits that would perfectly enhance my figure. Kaworu kept me company the entire time, giving his opinion only when I asked for it. He seemed simply content with watching people and their behavior. At one point, however, he asked if we might go to a place in order to purchase lubricant. Surely, my mouth must have dropped open, my chin falling to floor. However, I had no choice but comply and soon we found what he desired. It was utterly adorable to watch as he read labels and compared products. I got the sense that this wasn't the first time a similar decision had been made.  
  
I sigh deeply, slapping at the empty hangers that litter my closet rod. Turning, I examine the piles of clothing strewn about my room. Hardly any of it is dirty, mostly they're things I'd disapproved of at one point or another when trying to decide what to wear. I move to the closest pile and begin digging. Quickly I find a white button-up blouse. It had been overly starched at one point and now due to its location, its more than wrinkled. However, upon putting it on, I find that its a bit too snug, therefore pulling taut all wrinkles. Feeling only slightly satisfied, I move to another pile, this time finding a black mini skirt that I had no doubt deemed to short. I solve the problem easily though, pulling on a pair of white leggings first. My black jacket and boots complete the outfit, and I'm smiling at myself in the mirror when I hear the door bell.  
  
My breath catches in my chest and builds up, and I wonder if perhaps my lungs will burst. Before my open door stands Gendo Ikari, What do you want? I finally manage, my nostrils flare in my attempt to breathe through my nose.  
  
He just smirks at me, I've come for the Angel.  
  
My eyes go wide. No. Asuka... How could you? I take a step back and leave room for them to pass without having to brush me aside, He's not here. I whisper as Gendo steps closer.  
  
You will forgive me if I don't believe you. He says, then quickly walking passed. Moments later the apartment is flooded with people searching in almost humorous places. I caught one man lifting my couch cushions. I wanted to ask if he'd found anything there, but I dared not. Instead, I quietly make my way over to the phone and discreetly lift it from it's cradle, punching in a number burned into my brain.  
  
  
  
That cool, masculine voice is enough to bring me to my senses, Please, hurry over my love. I fear the worst for the boys. And before he can even answer I'm hanging up, thankful that my little act went unnoticed.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
I thanked Misato for a lovely time and then headed for the elevator. The trip up was boring and so was the walk to the little apartment Shinji and I had shared last night. I left the door unlocked for my lover and now I lie naked on my back, still bored.   
  
The sun's up high, but for some reason its rays aren't warming me. It disappoints me. A breeze sweeps down and I let it wash over and through me. I whisper to it of my love and happiness. I ask it to hurry over to my love and let him know how I feel. Surprisingly, the wind wisps up and out of the room and I'm left with a strange feeling. What on Earth am I doing? I'd never before tried such a thing and I feel a bit silly for letting my boredom control my actions so.  
  
Minutes later, however, I feel the breeze return, and Kami, it's warm! I let it encompass me and I know that it reached its destination. I can sense that Shinji's emotions have warmed this wind just for me.  
  
The wind, obviously impatient, swirls through the room once more before escaping and leaving my flesh hotter than the sun was capable of doing. Sweat beads from my pores and I close my eyes, imagining a clock and willing the hours to pass swiftly.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
The door to the Katsuragi residence is wide open when I arrive. Men in suits and white coats are coming and going as they please, searching the place as if there were a possibility it had secret doors and hiding places.  
  
I find Katsuragi standing in a corner in the living room. Her eyes are wide and she looks like a rabbit ready to dart away at any given chance. She doesn't see me as I approach, and when I take her hand in my own, she near jumps through the ceiling.  
  
She breathes, throwing her arms around me once she realizes it's me, I didn't know what else to do, I'm sorry for dragging you out here.  
  
No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. We stand silent together watching as the search draws to a close. Gendo Ikari is standing near the couch and many men begin reporting to him.  
  
Sir, the apartment's empty; however, there are signs that the Angel has been here.  
  
Ikari's brows draw together, What signs?  
  
Well, it appears that the Angel was residing in Shinji Ikari's bedroom and it's fairly obvious that two males have had sex there recently.  
  
I see. Gendo says before raising his eyes to Misato and steps closer to us, Ms. Katsuragi, I can't imagine you let this go on knowingly.  
  
She remains silent and adverts her eyes.  
  
Ikari turns back to the man, Search the entire building.  
  
Yes, Sir. And with a quick nod, the man hurries off to inform the others. Within minutes the room is clear and we're alone.  
  
I just can't handle this. Katsuragi whispers in my ear as she turns lean against my chest.  
  
I ask, sensing there's more to the tears welling in her eyes.  
  
She sniffs, Kaworu's in the building... Somewhere upstairs. They're going to find him for sure. Her voice is the slightest whisper and I have to concentrate in order to hear.  
  
Let's go out in the hall then. If they discover him, we'll know. We may not be able to stop it, but we can at least be there. I say, hoping that in some way this will comfort her.  
  
She nods and hand in hand, we make our way outside into the busy hall.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
A smile lingers on my face as I approach my building. Today was surprisingly a good day and I just can't wait to lie in Kaworu's arms. There are an unusual amount of cars in the car park. Mostly large black vehicles, looming like guard dogs ready to attack. I quickly step into the elevator and shrug the oddity off as I jab the button for the top floor.  
  
A dull little ding lets me know I've reached my destination and I step out into the empty hall. The door's unlocked and I'm a bit surprised to see Kaworu lying there naked in bed.  
  
I missed you. I say as I close the door behind me.  
  
He turns his head at an odd angle and looks me in the eyes, Did you feel it?  
  
I can't help but grin as I move quickly to his side, Hai, that was you wasn't it?!  
  
He sits up and smiles at my excitement, Yes, and I felt your response.  
  
I almost giggle, I didn't know we could do stuff like that.  
  
He shrugs, With time, I'm sure there is much we could do.  
  
My eyebrows pull together,   
  
Hai, I'm afraid they have come for me. He keeps his eyes on me as he speaks and I know he's waiting for a reaction.  
  
I try to remain calm, That's why there were all those big cars in the lot. Are they going to kill you Kaworu?  
  
Eventually. Although, I suspect they will want to run tests and such first.  
  
I feel my eyes watering against my will, But... But... Do you think that maybe they'd let me stay with you?  
  
His eyes soften and narrow and he pulls me close, pressing his thin, soft lips to my forehead much like I always imagined my mother would do in order to comfort me.  
  
I sniff, pulling back, Kaworu, I don't want to give up! Why can't we at least try to run? My voice is stronger now and I'm not sure I understand the smile that's suddenly spreading across his visage.  
  
You can be so strong when you need to be. He sighs, No, running will do no good, and I fear it would only burden you further.  
  
He takes in my confusion and goes on to explain, You would only feel guilt and pain, thinking it was your fault our escape was unsuccessful.  
  
I breathe in a deep ragged breath, knowing deep down that his words ring true. Not wasting another second, I kick of my shoes and yank my shirt off, buttons popping off and flying in every direction. I'm more than ungraceful in the removal of my pants, but once done, I sit before my lover in only my shorts.  
  
Kiss me. I whisper.  
  
He smiles and complies. I feel anxious, but he keeps it slow. Eventually, my lack of air causes us to part and now I'm panting. My eyes water instantly and I force myself not sob. I have to be strong for my Angel. I lift my eyes to his and search their depths.   
  
I always think of the weirdest things when I look at your eyes. I say, totally out of the blue.  
  
He smirks, Their color?  
  
I nod, It's like every time I look at you, I get a red image in my mind.  
  
A chuckle rolls out of him like music, And what red thing are you thinking of now?  
  
My eyes narrow and I tilt my head, placing a hand to his cool cheek, Cherries. Of course, I've never seen a cherry as red as your eyes.  
  
My Angel's expression instantly softens, And your eyes remind me of water... The deepest ocean, the calmest river, the purest waterfall...  
  
We come together and our lips meet in the most satisfying way. Sorrow is full in my heart and I can think of nothing except getting the most out of what little time we have left together.  
  
Lack of air forces us apart again and we lie down, gazing up at the afternoon sky, the sun out of sight, the sky bright and blue and littered with wispy white clouds. Kaworu is stretched out on his back, his legs sprawled out. I'm as close to him as I can get, a leg resting between his, my arms wrapped about him, his resting on my back. Now and then his fingers wiggle and I close my eyes as he traces senseless patterns on my skin.  
  
A thought suddenly jumps into my mind,   
  
  
  
What was you Tanabata wish?  
  
He chuckles, I wished for at least a year without discovery.  
  
I close my eyes and will myself not to cry.  
  
What was yours? He asks, his voice slight and serious.  
  
I wished for your happiness. I manage. His hands move to my face as he gently wills me to turn and look at him.  
  
His eyes are watery, You are the only one that would wish such a thing for me. A single tear builds and escapes and I move forward without thought, lapping up its saltiness with my eyes open.  
  
When I pull back he is smiling and it seems he's regained control over his tearing eyes, And you're the only one who'd drink an Angel's tear. He says through a slight chuckle.  
  
I blush and move to lie back against him. We resume our position and as we wait, I try and prepare myself for what's to come.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Kaji and I are crowded in an elevator with the first group heading to the top floor of the building, the last to be searched. As we step out into the hall, two other elevators down the hall open and within seconds there are people everywhere entering apartment after apartment.  
  
I never realized the building was so damaged. To one side there's basically no roof. Kaji squeezes my hand and I glance to my right to see Ikari. My evil thoughts of him are interrupted, however, as a young man with glasses and freckles calls out.  
  
Sir, I think I've found it! He's standing before an open door and his cheeks are tinted with a blush.  
  
All at once everyone, including Kaji and myself, is surging forward for a look. Sure enough, within the quaint little apartment with a skylight above the perfectly positioned bed, is the Angel along with Shinji. My eyes are already leaking tears, but I'm not fully aware of it.  
  
Ikari steps forward, Never had I imagined such a thing. His voice holds arrogance and disgust and it's all directed towards Shinji.  
  
Shinji bolts upright and climbs to the far edge of the bed while Kaworu slowly and calmly sits up, I see you have discovered me. The Angel says through a smirk.  
  
Ikari returns the expression, quickly giving orders. Men rush in and carefully approach the pale-haired boy, restraining him and jabbing a needle in his arm.  
  
Shinji looks like a frightened rabbit, tears streaming from his eyes, but suddenly, it's as if he realizes something, Father! Please, let me go with him. Let me stay with him. He's pleading, rising to his feet and moving forward with that courage he often attains in such drastic moments.  
  
Gendo scoffs, Don't be stupid! And with that, he gestures for the men to take the Angel away.  
  
Kaji and I quickly move out of the way as the swarm quickly heads for the elevators. As Kaworu passes he pauses to turn, and to Shinji he says, Do not worry my love, we will be together again. Death is not the end for us. And with that they begin crowding into the elevators.  
  
Shinji's eyes are shaken and he's obviously out of it. Suddenly, he bolts forward, exiting the apartment and turning the corner in order to chase after his lover. Kaji, however, snags him by the waist and heaves him back.  
  
No, you've got to calm down. Kaji insists, holding tight.  
  
No! Let me go! Kaworu! Kaworu! I love you! Shinji's voice is nearly screaming and it rasps as it strains to reach the Angel's ears. His face is wet with tears and snot and he's struggling like a child, his fingers trying in vain to pry Kaji's hands from his waist.   
  
The elevator carrying the last load of men closes its doors and we're left alone. At that instant, Shinji's strength and will drain out from him as if someone had pulled the plug. He goes limp in Kaji's arms and slumps down to the floor.  
  
Why wouldn't you let me go to him? He asks, sniffling, his face resting against the filthy floor.  
  
I drop to my knees, Oh, Shinji... There was nothing you could do. I manage, the tears still free flowing.  
  
A sob momentarily racks his body, I know, but... At least he would have known how much I love him... That I wouldn't just give up.  
  
I place a hand on his back and he jerks away from it, rolling over onto his side and then onto his back, I'm sure Kaworu knows how much you love him, but I doubt he would have liked to have seen you taken as well.  
  
He pulls his knees up and squeezes his eyes shut, tears still spilling forth. He presses his fists against his forehead and tries his very hardest to control the sounds of sorrow forcing their way from his body.  
  
Kaji moves closer, Shinji, you okay?  
  
My eyes go wide in sudden shock as Shinji begins laughing, loud hysterical laughter, No! No, I'm not okay at all. He pushes himself into a sitting position and moves to lean against the wall, I'm not ready to die. He says, his laughter dying out, the last coming out in barely more than a whisper.  
  
My tears slow, nearly stop, I'm reminded of a conversation I recently overheard...  
  
  
_What would you do if I were to die?  
  
My eyes go wide. That was Kaworu's voice! I tiptoe to the living room, glancing in to see the boys lying together on the couch, shirtless, arms wrapped about one another. They both appear calm and content.  
  
What do you mean? Shinji asks, his head tilting up to look at his lover. I follow the gaze and I'm shocked to see Kaworu looking right at me. Quickly, I pull myself from the doorway and remain out of sight.  
  
If I were to die... What would you do? Kaworu says, repeating his question. I know he saw me, but he says nothing of it. I remain there, leaning against the wall, unknowingly holding my breath.  
  
Then I hear Shinji's voice, I'd die._  
  
  
Shinji, I'm not saying that Kaworu's going to die, but if he does, that doesn't mean you have to die. My voice sounds pleading and I know I might as well be begging. Kaji only stands by and watches, confusion evident on his manly features.  
  
Shinji looks up at me, his eyes connecting with mine, a slight smile pulling at his lips, Yes it does. If I don't, I'll lose him... I don't think I could take that again.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaji had to carry Shinji back downstairs. The boy is now resting on the couch in the living room. I get the sense that he's asleep, yet he's lying there with his eyes wide open staring at the ceiling.  
  
I move back to the table and sit again across from my lover, Kaji, do you think he's okay? I ask, taking a sip from my coffee.  
  
He sighs, No, but it's the best we can do for him.  
  
He's serious and calm and it scares me, But, do you think he'll hurt himself? I'm afraid he'll try and kill himself if anything happens to Kaworu.  
  
Katsuragi, you've got to calm down. All you can do is be there for him and hope for the best. That's it. He reaches across the table and takes my hands into his own, I think it would be best if I left. He needs you now. Sit by his side, be there for every minute in case he needs you.  
  
My eyes are watering again and all I can manage is a nod. He smiles and releases my hands and I wonder when he plans on shaving that awful stubble. Moments later he's out the door and I close my eyes, drinking the last of my coffee in one big gulp. Kaji's right and I know it. All I can do is comfort and support Shinji in his dark times. With a slight smile on my face, I move into the living room and take a seat on the end of the couch, placing the boy's feet in my lap. His cheeks are still wet and his hands are open and limp. I think maybe he's totally emotionally drained. Well, when he comes around, I'll be here.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	13. Depression

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: More angst/sorrow... Again, don't be discouraged. I plan for this fic to (in one way or another) have a happy ending. Sorry if that spoiled it for any of you! Heh heh... Anyway, enjoy! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XIII: Depression  
...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
Hours pass and I'm bored as hell. It seems my guards feel the same way, for as I rise and wander outside the little glass office, they don't protest. Instead, they follow me as I roam about the large room. I don't understand half the machines and computers I see all about, and I certainly don't understand the strange codes and letters on all the papers strewn about.  
  
My guards suddenly straighten up and begin escorting me back to the office. I glance around to find that doctors and scientists are returning. Once inside the office with the doors closed, I spot Ikari and a large crowd following him, and in the middle of that crowd... The Angel, and he sees me. Kami, he sees me!  
  
I scream out and slap my hands to the door, pushing it open with unnecessary force. My guards are baffled and easily left behind. I jog over to the pale-haired boy, standing not five feet from him,   
  
He smiles wide, There's no need. Please, give Shinji my love. I fear he will suffer more than I will.  
  
The smile never fades as he's escorted to the back of the room and led through a hidden door I hadn't even noticed before. What have I done? Upon seeing the Angel, my first thought was fear. He had seen me and I was so sure he was going to mind fuck me to death. In a panic, I had raced over ready to apologize and beg. Then he smiled.  
  
  
_ There's no need. Please, give Shinji my love. I fear he will suffer more than I will.  
  
  
_Oh, Shinji, what have I done?!  
  
Thank you, Ms. Sohryu. Ikari's words break me from my thoughts and I look up to see that he's smirking, nearly smiling, down at me. My eyes go wide and I don't bother answering as I turn and race for the exit.  
  
My patience barely holds during the ultimate test... The elevator ride down. I'm tapping my foot and biting my nails and pleading with Kami for it to move just slightly faster.  
  
It dings and the doors open to the nice, shiny lobby. Many eyes turn to me, but I don't have time to throw them dirty looks. I've got to get home. I hurry towards the doors and yank them open myself.  
  
Once on the street I stop to take a breath of fresh air. I look right, then left. There aren't any buses anywhere and I don't have enough money for a taxi. The nearest subway entrance is out of my way and I'm left with no choice by to walk, or rather, run. So I do just that.  
  
When my building comes into sight, my cheeks are flushed and I'm breathing heavily. I jog across the street, lifting a hand to signal an oncoming car to wait. Though, it'd probably be deserving for it to hit me, pop my skull beneath it's tires like a melon, it waits.  
  
Then I'm in an elevator again, ready to yank my hair out by the roots when the doors finally open to my floor. The apartment's quiet and dim. The hall light is off, and as I make my way into the lighted kitchen, I find that both Misato and Shinji are in the living room.   
  
She's seated at one end of the couch, her head rolled back on her neck, her mouth open, a slight snore sounding now and then. Shinji's backs to me, so I'm not sure if he's awake or not. He's sitting unusually close to our guardian, his arms wrapped about her waist, his face pressed against her stomach, his legs curled up close, his knees leaning over to rest upon her lap.  
  
I quietly step into the room, taking a seat on the nearest armchair. I can see now that Shinji's eyes are open, but minutes pass and he says nothing, gives no signal that he's noticed my presence.  
  
And just when I'm about to rise and retreat to my room, he speaks up, It was you, wasn't it?  
  
I slump back in the chair, my face down-turned,   
  
His voice is so slight, and I find myself leaning forward in order to better hear.  
  
I... I guess I was jealous. I'm still not sure I understand the love between the two of you, but I regretted it the moment I saw him and he spoke...  
  
Shinji interrupts me, You saw him? He spoke? Was he okay? What did he say? Well, that got his attention. He's sitting up now, his eyes wide and alert, looking forward, directly at me, and I notice how horribly red they are.  
  
The movement awakens Misato, and she leans forward groggily. I can tell by her expression that she hadn't fallen asleep with Shinji in such a position against her. Then her eyes fall on me, Asuka! When did you get here?  
  
Just now. I mumble, detecting disappointment in her tone.  
  
Asuka, please... How was he? What did he say?  
  
I sigh, leaning back and willing my eyes not to water up, Well, he seemed okay. When he saw me he smiled really big and told me to give you his love and that he's worried you're going to suffer more than he will.  
  
I'm a bit surprised as his eyes instantly begin spilling forth unnatural amounts of tears, Kami, what am I going to do?  
  
Misato wraps her arms around him and pulls him close. She tried her best to comfort him as he begins rocking, sobs racking his body as he moans horribly. The display nearly has me crying and I notice that it has the same effect on Misato.  
  
I... I'm sorry, Shinji. I whisper, rising to escape to the solitude of my room.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Please, you've got to calm down. Minutes pass and finally Shinji begins to do just that. I was more than surprised to wake and find Asuka there. I was angry at first, but I think I hid it well. She seemed truly sorry and now I can't understand why I was mad at her. The poor girl has suffered just as much as the rest of us.  
  
You want me to fix you something? I ask, raking my fingers through his short, thick hair.  
  
He shakes his head, pulling away only slightly to rub at his eyes, I think I'm going to take a shower. He whispers.  
  
I smile encouragingly, Sure, go ahead. I'm going to eat something, I'll make enough for you in case you're hungry when you get out, okay?  
  
He nods and rises before heading off toward the bathroom in nothing more than a pair of boxer shorts. The poor thing. I never could understand Shinji's mourning process.  
  
I do just as I said I would. My task is easy since I resort to instant ramen. Nearly and hour has passed and I've long since finished my meal as well as three beers. I wonder if maybe he's drowned himself or maybe discovered my razor and how to remove the blade. I shutter and rise, moving to place the leftover ramen in the refrigerator for later. Still, I can't get the thoughts from my mind... I've never seen Shinji so close to suicide and I can't help but worry. Just as I'm about to go and check on him, he emerges from the hall in a T-shirt and boxers, his hair dripping wet.  
  
Hey, I was getting worried. I say through a smile, I fixed enough ramen for you, want me to get it out?  
  
He just shakes his head.  
  
I nod in understanding, Okay. Would you like to get some sleep then?  
  
He nods and I notice his eyes are watering up, But... Misato...?  
  
I step closer,   
  
He looks up at me and I can tell he's forcing back tears, Can I sleep with you?  
  
My eyes go soft and I can't help but comply,   
  
I'm sorry it's a bit messy. I chuckle as we step into my cluttered room. The futon's positioned in the middle of the room much like a nest and I blush in embarrassment. I move to fix the bed and kick my clothes out of the way so he might be able to about.  
  
Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I'm going to go change. I'll be right back. I say as I grab some clothes and head for the bathroom. Said room is steamy as I enter, the mirrors all fogged up. I can tell Shinji had taken a bath rather than a shower, and I'm glad. Anything to soothe his soul and wash away his worries will help. I discard my clothes and toss them in a corner. Instead of sleeping in my usual panties and a tank top, I pull on a T-shirt and a pair of decent shorts.  
  
Upon returning to my bedroom, I find that Shinji's already under the covers, a wet spot forming on the pillow around his head.  
  
Ready for lights out? I ask, my hand going to the light switch. He nods and darkness fills the room. I make my way over to the bed without trouble, having long since memorized my room. I climb beneath the covers and already I can fell his body heat. A few minutes pass while I lie and think, and then I feel him shifting, moving closer.  
  
  
  
I turn to face him though I can't see a thing, I ask.  
  
Can I touch you? His voice is slight and ashamed and oh so sorrowful. Yet I can't just say yes to such a question.  
  
What do you mean? I ask, hesitant and a little unsure as to what exactly's going on in his head.  
  
He doesn't answer though, instead moving closer, the length of his body pressing against mine, his arms going around my waist, his head resting against the crook of my neck. Though he's thin, I realize he's taller now and most obviously more sure of himself. The position is most definitely a sexual one. I can recall nights when Kaji held me in just such a way after a bout of wondrous sex, but this is Shinji and it's hard for me to imagine that this is the same boy I've always known.  
  
His hold tightens slightly, not uncomfortably, I'm sorry... I just... I've gotten used to going to sleep with... Someone. His voice hitches a tad and I sense that he's worried I'll push him away.  
  
I turn somewhat and wrap my arms around his narrow frame, Don't worry. I don't mind. I whisper. Strange... Somewhere along the way, my boy became a man.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Three days have come and gone and I feel like road kill, like a walking, talking zombie. I'm glad Misato's letting me skip school for a while. I can't imagine going to that place now. I know she's worried about me. When she's home, she stays with me all the time, and while she's at work, she calls every thirty minutes to ask if I'm okay. I don't really mind it. In a weird way, it makes life bearable.  
  
Asuka was ridden with guilt the first day. She seemed to be constantly throwing me glances filled with apologies in them. Now she's either avoiding me or trying to talk into me. I think she's gotten flat out frustrated with me, but I can't help it and honestly, I don't care.  
  
All I can think about is Kaworu. I've had the same dream since that night... I'm alone in a room, searching for my Angel. There's no furniture or doors or anything and I can obviously see he's not there. Still, I roam about searching and searching. Then, I turn, and there he is, smiling, like he'd been there the whole time. I make eye contact with him and then... I wake up.  
  
I haven't eaten hardly anything since then either. Mostly junk food and such when no one's home. I really don't want to eat at all, and it's Misato's belief that I don't, but for some reason I feel a need to keep myself alive still.  
  
Kaworu said I need to die when he does in order for us to be together forever, but I don't know how I'm supposed to know when he dies, and this is the cause for much of my stress. I just keep telling myself that I'll know when the time comes. I just hope that's true. Not to mention courage... I pray I have enough courage.  
  
I'm stretched out on Misato's futon when I hear the front door open and close. I suspect it's Asuka getting home from school, but glancing at Misato's digital clock, I notice that school's not yet over. Then I remember the violet-haired woman mentioning something about heading out for a moment to get some groceries.  
  
Shinji, I'm home! She calls. I sigh and pull myself up. I find her in the kitchen putting things away.  
  
I got some caramelized sweet potatoes on the way home. I remember you saying you liked them before. She says, scooting a little foam box across the table towards me. I take a seat and watch as she finishes putting everything away. I open the little box and breath in the sweet scent.  
  
I watch as Misato gathers all the empty bags and opens a drawer in order to shove them in with the others. Her expressions becomes confused and she digs into the drawer, pulling forth a bag that obviously has something still in it. Her features soften and she closes the drawer with her hip as she removes a somewhat large tube from the bag.  
  
My eyes widen. I recognize such a tube, What's that? I ask forgetting the sweet potatoes.  
  
That day... Kaworu went shopping with me. He asked if we could stop somewhere and buy it... I guess we forgot and it got left in the bag... She says it all in a near whisper as she comes close, placing the tube in my hand.  
  
It's the same brand of lubricant we'd gotten the first time, except this one's supposed to be flavored. I can't read much more on the label as my eyes begin to water. My fingers close around the tube, gripping it as if trying to grip a life I once lived, a life that slipped away from my grasp. I turn and head for the comfort of Misato's bed and thick covers.  
  
Shinji, don't you want these? She calls and I turn slightly to see that she's holding the box of sweet potatoes.  
  
I shake my head, wiping at a few stray tears, I'm not hungry.  
  
The futon is a mess, yet it's still a warm welcome. It seems that I'm constantly cold lately, and yet, at the same time, I don't care enough to dress warmer.  
  
I wipe furiously at my eyes, urging them to clear enough to enable me to read the label of the tube in my hand. Strawberry flavored. I smile as the red lettering catches my attention. I unscrew the cap and breath in the scent... Kaworu had chosen this specifically for us. Again my eyes are watering and I curse them.   
  
My stomach churns and I wonder if maybe its digesting itself from the inside out. Is such a death possible? Would the stomach, if refused nourishment long enough, start consuming itself as well as other organs? I highly doubted it, but for some strange reason, the thought appealed to me and it lingered.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
Something sweet catches my senses as I step through the door, Misato? Are you cooking? I ask as I enter the kitchen.  
  
She sighs, Huh? Oh, hi Asuka. No... I just bought Shinji some of those caramelized sweet potatoes from that vendor near my office, but... He didn't want them.  
  
I drop my bag to the floor as I slide into a chair, pulling the little foam box close, You don't mind do you? I ask, chopsticks poised, the delicious treat halfway to my mouth before I even think to ask.  
  
She shakes her head, No, go ahead. They'll go to waste otherwise.  
  
He's still not eating? I say through a mouthful, sincerely concerned.  
  
Again, she shakes her head, No, I don't know what else to do.  
  
I lean back in my seat, the box already half empty, I've apologized a thousand times. I talked to him again yesterday.  
  
Misato looks up at me rather suddenly, Her tone is one of disappointment, What did you say?  
  
Don't look at me like that! I just asked what was wrong with him! My tone is defensive as I stuff another potato in my mouth.  
  
Her expression softens somewhat, And... What did he say?  
  
Hm? Oh, he muttered something about waiting to die or something. I just don't understand, and he's making me so crazy. It's like... I just wish he'd either get better or go on and kill himself. I'm so stressed out.  
  
Asuka! Don't be so selfish! She practically growls at me and I know I've pushed my limits. In all honesty though, it's how I feel. Of course I still care about Shinji! I love him! I just can't stand his wimpy, whiny attitude sometimes.  
  
I've finished my little snack and now I sit frowning. I'm being way harsh about all this, and I know it. I'm taking my anger and frustrations out on him. I can't handle that all this is really all my fault. Sighing, I rise from my seat, grabbing my stuff, and turning to retreat to my room.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Dinner comes and goes. Asuka and I ate quietly, and now that all the dishes are clean and put away, I decide to get some sleep. I have to be at work early.  
  
I open the door to find that the lights are off, I whisper, reaching out and flipping the light switch.  
  
He's lying there tangled in the blankets. His eyes are closed and I'm fairly sure he's asleep. Lately he's been having trouble getting to sleep, and I'm thankful to see him this way. He so needs his rest.  
  
I step into the corner and quickly shimmy out of my clothes, pulling on a spaghetti strap top and a pair of loose, cotton pajama bottoms. Gently, I maneuver the covers so that there's plenty for me, careful not to wake Shinji. I then turn out the light and crawl into bed. Instantly, he's moving close, cuddling up with me, wrapping his arms about my waist, resting his head against my chest. Even in his sleep he yearns for the comfort of Kaworu's embrace. The thought breaks my heart. Something has to be done.  
  


...........................  


  
I crawled out of Shinji's arms in the morning, leaving him and Asuka asleep as I quietly left for work. I've always hated mornings, but today I'm a little anxious. I have an idea.  
  
I get to work ten minutes early and meet Kaji at our break spot. The picnic benches are still moist from the night's dew, so we both remain standing, I was thinking you could come over for dinner tonight. I want you to help me talk to Shinji. I mean, if you don't mind that is.  
  
He smiles, brushing a few stray violet strands out of my eyes, You know I don't mind. I'm as concerned about Shinji as you are.  
  
I can't help but smile, Great, cause he's only getting worse.  
  
His smile droops, What can I say to help though? It's almost like there's nothing else we can do.  
  
Well, I was wondering if you could find out what's going on with Kaworu. Maybe if he knew that Kaworu was doing well, you know... I say, hoping he'll understand. After all, if I do say so myself, it's a brilliant plan. A smile touches my lips as I look up at my lover, only to see that he's frowning.  
  
Sounds great and all, Katsuragi, but it's likely Kaworu isn't doing so well at all. I'm fairly sure that once they're through with all their tests and examinations, he'll be destroyed.  
  
My face goes pale. Of course, what was I thinking? I was once a member of Nerv. How could I forget that when it comes to limits of cruelty, Gendo Ikari has none? I sigh, rubbing my temples as I try to think something through, Well, maybe... Maybe you could just lie to him.  
  
Are you serious? Kaji asks, anger slight in his voice, but there none the less.  
  
I sigh again, keeping my eyes from his, looking, rather, to his shoes and their laces, He... He thinks he has to die the moment Kaworu dies. He's only keeping himself alive until that moment comes. He's not eating, he sleeps all day, and... Kami, he's so depressed. I feel a hand on my shoulder and another on my chin, gentle pressure lifting my gaze.   
  
My eyes meet with Kaji's and I see understanding there, I'll see what I can find out, but I'm not lying to him.  
  
I smile, also understanding, So, you're coming to dinner then?  
  
He nods, Wouldn't miss it. If anything, perhaps the company will cheer him up.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
My cell is small. The walls are white as well as the ceiling and cold, tile floor. High in one corner there is a camera watching my every movement, it doesn't bother me much. There is a single, window-less door with multiple locks. Beyond that there's a just-as-white hallway with another multiple-locking door. Beyond that there are constantly four guards, two with chairs, two standing, switching off every four hours or so. And just passed the guards lies a massive room, also just as white, but not nearly so lonely. This room is filled with people and computers and desks and every scientific instrument known to man. Not to mention, there's also a cold, metal table that I find more than uncomfortable, my flesh having long since grown accustomed to warmth. The table, as well as a stiff, metal chair some feet away, is made with horrible restraints. I'm constantly restrained. Even now, sitting alone in my cell, my wrists are bound together and ankles chained.  
  
I lie back, staring up at the ceiling. The bed is a mass of metal with a single blanket draped over it. That's it, and oh how I miss Shinji's body against mine. I haven't slept since I got here and I wonder if my eyes are any redder than normal.  
  
They've provided me with a toilet in the corner, but other than that, the room is bare. Three times a day I'm offered trays with perfectly fine meals upon them, but each time I simply can't bring myself to take even a single bite. Perhaps it's depression, perhaps I'm trying to hurry death in order to see my beloved again, I honestly don't know for sure.  
  
They ask me endless questions and I answer now and then, almost as an afterthought sometimes. Some days I can't hear them and mostly I simply prefer not to answer. There are things in which the Lilim are not meant to know, with the exception of my Shinji.  
  
I find myself often thinking of that wind that day, the day I last saw my love. There are no things of nature here for me to persuade. No sunlight, no wind, no earth, no animals or vegetation... Nothing. Still, when I'm left alone in my room like I am now. I try to manipulate my thoughts in order to send Shinji some sort of soothing image. I so desperately want him to know how very much I love him.  
  
I hear jingling in the distance and I know they're coming for me again. The sounds of boots on tile, the jingling again... Keys in the locks of my door. I sit up, pivoting and placing my bare feet on the chilled floor. Two men enter, both broad shouldered, strong men in white slacks and dress shirts. Not doctors. No, not educated at all.  
  
I'm wearing a white, button-up shirt much like those Shinji wears to school, except of a much thinner material, almost transparent, and a pair of white drawstring pants made of the same flimsy fabric.  
  
Buddy, you think you can at least keep yourself dressed? The shorter of the two men says, his voice suggesting I'm too stupid for my own good. The corner of my mouth twitches upwards. True, my shirt is only halfway buttoned and my pants are barely hanging on my hips, the legs bunched at my ankles, the hems dragging the floor, but I don't care.  
  
The man's brows furrow and he eyes me oddly, dropping the matter and taking hold of my left upper arm, the other man taking hold of my right. I have bruises there from this daily, unnecessarily rough action, but I don't wince. The many pains inflicted upon me are nothing compared to the pain inside. I want nothing more than to be joined with Shinji again. I can feel deep within myself that he needs me.  
  
Fucking faggot. The man on my left mutters under his breath. I hear none of it, I just don't care. I can think of nothing but my lover.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I'm alone in a strange room, yet somehow, in the back of my brain, I recognize it. The walls are glowing white, I can barely see. I'm searching for my Angel, I just know he's here somewhere. I spot a dull, flat bed against one wall and a toilet in the corner. I don't remember those being there before. My thoughts leave me though as I feel a presence behind me. I'm hopeful as I turn, and sure enough, standing there before my eyes is Kaworu. My hope fades though as I read his expressionless features. Something's wrong. I step forward, but I don't make any progress. I call out to him, but there's no sound. He tilts his head and speaks, I love you. I stop and look into his eyes. Red, red eyes... Red like a pool of blood. Then he smiles,   
  
I bolt upright, my face wet with tears as I tear at the sheets and blankets about me. Finally, I'm free and I hurry out of Misato's room and down the hall. I stop in front of my bedroom door, leaning my forehead against its cool surface. The dream... The dream was different. Before, there had been no furniture in the room, and Kaworu never before spoke in the dream.  
  
_Red like a pool of blood. _  
  
My eyes go wide and fresh tears burst forth. My strength seeps from me and I slump to the floor, sobs racking my exhausted body. No! I don't want to die, and I don't want Kaworu to die! Yet, I know that if Kaworu dies, then so shall I, no questions asked. The pain tears at my insides like a rabid dog, and I can think of nothing except ridding myself of this horrid pain.  
  
I push myself to my feet and head for the bathroom. I spot a strand of long red hair dangling from the counter. Asuka's at school no doubt. I reach forward and open the drawer Misato uses. Her razor is silver and modern, yet old styled, and it's a snap to remove the double-sided blade. I tuck the razor back in its place and close the door as I turn and head back for my room.  
  
Cold air greets me as I open the door. I haven't been in here since that night we left to sleep upstairs. The memory pains me and I'm reminded of my intentions.  
  
I step inside, close the door, and turn on the lights. Everything's been rummaged through and the place is a mess. My pain doubles to think that my father was here, searching for my true love in order to snatch him away from me.  
  
I move to the bed and breathe deep of the pillow we shared. Try as I might, I can't make out my lover's scent. I fold my legs beneath me, leaning against the wall, staring at the blade in my hand. I don't want to kill myself, I just want to be distracted from the pain.  
  
It's easier than I'd thought it'd be. At first I simply grazed the sharp edge over my skin. After about ten minutes I gain the courage to press down, only slightly. All that accomplished was painless scratches. So, I press harder. As much blood and guts and flesh as I've seen, I've never inspected it in such a way, and I'm amazed at the way the skin parts and the rest is like butter against the razor blade.  
  
Several hours later, I was taking a shower, rinsing away the blood. I tucked the blade away in a drawer in my room for future purposes. It did its job well. My arms are littered with little nicks, scratches, and cuts, as are my thighs. I even cut a line diagonally across my stomach below my navel. No reason really, I was just curious if I bled the same way there. Of course, I did. The pain is still there, but for the moment it's dulled. Indeed, the blade did it's job well.  
  
Now that my shower's done though, I find that I'm faced with a complex. Misato will surely freak to find me this way. I hurry back to my room at the sound of the front door opening and quickly dig through my drawers. I pull on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of striped pajama pants. I then hurry back out and close the door behind me.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	14. Good News

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter. No excuses. It's been written for days, I've just been lazy. Again, sorry. The next one should be up soon. Enjoy!  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XIV: Good News  
...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
Katsuragi and I enter her apartment and head into the kitchen to find Shinji coming down the hall, slightly out of breath.  
  
Hi, I was thinking we could all have dinner tonight. Katsuragi says to him, smiling as she removes her jacket.  
  
I notice a sadness flicker over his features. I suspect he's thinking of the last time I was here for dinner, when Kaworu had also been here, Hey, are you cold? I ask, trying to change the subject. I'd instantly noticed his clothes, It's pretty warm in here, maybe you're coming down with something. I suggest.  
  
A different expression comes over him, surprise perhaps. I'd almost describe it as fear, fear of being caught. I let it slide though. The poor kid has enough on his mind.  
  
Katsuragi hurries over to him though, my statement obviously worrying her, It's because you're hardly eating. She mutters, placing her hand to his forehead, Well, you don't have a fever. She then lifts his arm and places her fingers to his wrist. I notice that Shinji doesn't pull away from her touch like he once would, however, his eyes seem a bit worried, he's glancing about as if willing her away.  
  
She sighs, You seem okay. Anyway, what would you like for dinner? We can have anything, and Kaji's here.  
  
He shrugs, I'm not really hungry.   
  
As if on cue, his stomach rumbles and I smile, Sounds like your stomach says otherwise. I say, watching as he squirms.  
  
Come on, Shinji, Katsuragi pleads, Do this for me? You've got to eat something.  
  
He sighs, nodding, and I think he's doing it just to get her off his back. I hear the front door open and watch as Shinji moves into the living room.  
  
Asuka steps into the room, Oh, Kaji, I didn't know you were coming over. She says, her voice seeming a bit too cheerful to me.  
  
I smile, Last minute idea.  
  
She smiles in return before turning to Katsuragi, Are you cooking?  
  
My violet-haired beauty smiles, nodding.  
  
Asuka groans, Let me know when it's ready. And with that she's heading for her room.  
  
What's her problem? I ask, confused.  
  
Katsuragi leans against the table, She's been avoiding Shinji. I think she's trying to play this off, trying to forget that it's all her fault.  
  
My eyebrows draw together, But it isn't all her fault.  
  
She sighs, I know, but that's what she thinks. I need to talk to her. A few moments pass and then she's standing up straight, Well, let me go change and I'll start cooking. How about you go wait with Shinji in the living room?  
  
I smile,   
  


...........................  


  
Shinji and I are sitting together in silence when Katsuragi steps into the room, It's ready.  
  
We both rise and move into the kitchen. Asuka's already there, sitting at the end nearest the hall. Katsuragi and I sit beside one another, and Shinji sits across from me. Surprisingly, my lover's managed to cook up a fairly decent meal consisting of fried swordfish, mixed rice, French beans with sesame seeds, and for dessert, green tea cake. Impressive for Katsuragi. In fact, all of us stare in awe for a few moments before actually eating.  
  
Shinji places maybe a teaspoon of each dish upon his plate, playing with it more than eating. I can see Katsuragi's disappointed, Aren't you hungry? She asks.  
  
He simply shakes his head.  
  
Asuka sighs, a frustrated sound, You should know by now that he plans on starving himself to death.  
  
Katsuragi hisses.  
  
The redhead only looks further angered, Kami, why do you baby him so much? Cooking his favorite meals and letting him sleep in your bed! If you haven't noticed, it's not helping! And I think it's disgusting.  
  
I think Asuka notices my surprise, Oh, Kaji, didn't you know? They've been sleeping together every night, holding one another... Like lovers!  
  
Katsuragi rises, Asuka! That's enough! I think you should take your plate to your room and finish eating there. It's the first time I've ever heard her really scold these kids and I suddenly realize how hard it's been on her having to raise and care for these two, especially these two.  
  
Asuka growls in frustration, slapping her hands against the table as she pushes away, knocking her chair back. She leaves her plate as she stomps to her room, slamming the door behind her.  
  
Katsuragi sighs, I'm sorry, Kaji. I really need to talk to her.  
  
I smile, So, you two been sleeping together behind my back?  
  
Shinji looks up. The whole time he seemed unaffected by Asuka's harsh words, but at my simple teasing he perks up, Oh, no... Kaji, it's not like that. I just, He looks away, a blush rising on his cheeks, I can't sleep by myself.  
  
My smile fades, Hey, I was just kidding around. Don't worry. I know you're going through a lot. In fact, I have a bit of news.  
  
His head snaps up again, his eyes wide, About Kaworu?  
  
I nod, They're still running tests... I've heard that he's doing well enough, being fed well. I leave out the bit about the Angel not eating.  
  
Shinji's eyes water, but I can tell he's fighting back tears, But they'll be done with their tests soon though, won't they?  
  
I remain silent, not sure what I should say. It's true, they'll be through with Kaworu soon enough. I glance at Katsuragi, she looks as worried as I do.  
  
Shinji smiles, Don't worry, I know. I've been having these dreams... He trails off as if not knowing how to describe them.  
  
What kind of dreams? Katsuragi asks, leaning forward, her food forgotten.  
  
Shinji takes a deep breath, About Kaworu... It's been the same one ever since... But last night he spoke. He said,   
  
A few moments pass and we're all speechless. Shinji leans forward and rests his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. As he does so, the sleeves of his shirt slip down and I catch a glimpse of several injuries.  
  
Obviously Katsuragi sees them as well, What happened to your arm?! She asks/shouts, rising to her feet and hurrying around the table.  
  
Realizing what is going on, Shinji pulls his sleeves down and rises as well, walking around the table in the opposite direction and heading down the hall. He disappears into Katsuragi's room and she and I are left in the kitchen.  
  
What was that? I asked, a bit confused.  
  
She instantly begins grabbing plates and dishes, Looked like cuts to me. He probably did it himself. Her voice is low and angry, I should have known it would come to this. She continues grumbling in this manner until the table is clear and the sink full.  
  
I rise, Calm down. You don't know what happened. How can you be so sure he did it to himself?  
  
She seems to contemplate this for a few minutes before heading down the hall, motioning for me to follow. In the bathroom, she jerks a drawer open and lifts a razor up to the light. Sure enough, the blade is missing.  
  
I should talk to him. She says weakly. I can tell she's on the verge of tears.  
  
I sigh, Would you like me to come with you? I ask sincerely, a little unsure of myself in all this but determined to help.  
  
She looks up, You wouldn't mind?  
  
I simply smile, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.  
  
Seconds later we're heading down the hall again. Katsuragi's room is dark and she quickly turns the light on as she enters. I follow, cautiously stepping around the clutter and pile of clothes. There's a chair at a desk and I drag it over to sit beside the bed. Shinji's sitting in the center of the futon, staring down at his hands. Katsuragi closes the door and moves to sit beside him.  
  
Shinji, can I see your arms? She asks quietly.  
  
He shakes his head, I don't want you to see.  
  
She frowns, Why not?  
  
He looks up then, his eyes watery, I don't want you to worry anymore.  
  
I'll worry anyway. Please, let me try to help.  
  
He remains still for a few moments and, I think maybe he's just going to sit there like that forever, but then he slowly nods.  
  
A slight smile pulls at her lips, Will you take your shirt off?  
  
Shinji closes his eyes and sighs, nodding as he slowly lifts his arms and pulls his shirt up over his head, letting it fall to the bed. I'm shocked. He's terribly thin and his skin is so pale. Then there's the cuts. They mar his arms from just above the elbow all the way to the wrist. There must be twenty to thirty cuts on each arm.  
  
Katsuragi inspects the wounds carefully, none appear to be life threatening, She asks finally.  
  
He shrugs, The pain was too much.  
  
She remains silent, obviously confused. I speak up, I don't understand. The pain was too much so you injured yourself? I'm sorry, but that doesn't make sense.  
  
He sighs, rubbing the cuts on his left arm with his right hand, The pain on the inside, remembering Kaworu and missing him... This pain, He says, gesturing to his injuries, This pain helps make that other pain fade to the back.  
  
I nod, understanding only slightly. The kid is really fucked up.  
  
Are there anymore? Katsuragi asks, tugging gently at the edge of his long pants.  
  
Shinji takes another deep breath, nodding. He leans to one side and then the other, slipping his pants under his bottom before pushing them down and off. Now he's sitting there in nothing more than a pair of plain, white boxer shorts. Katsuragi looks away. His thighs, from the knee all the way up, are covered in cuts. Some small and slight, others long and harsh, at least fifty on each leg, and I can see now that there's even one on his stomach.  
  
Katsuragi's crying now, wiping at her eyes in frustration, I'm sorry, Shinji. She whispers, I... I just don't know what else to do.  
  
Shinji's silent and after a few minutes, I realize that he's going to remain that way. I replace the chair from where I got it and pull Katsuragi to her feet. She's weak and fighting back tears, I have to support her as we leave the room as well as the apartment.  
  
Out in the hall, she slumps against the wall, sliding down to the floor. I wait until a man passes and enters the elevator before moving to her side, Hey, you okay?  
  
She shakes her head, Did you see that? He's never done anything like that before.  
  
But are you okay? I ask, my words a little more demanding.  
  
She looks up at me, Yeah, yeah... I'm just so stressed and worried... I don't know what to do anymore.  
  
I nod, Don't worry about it. I'm going to look into some things, see what I can do. You just stay with Shinji, okay? I say, leaning forward and kissing her chastely before moving to rise.  
  
She grabs my wrist, You're going? Now?  
The right side of my mouth twists into a smile, Hey, I said not to worry. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning-  
  
She interrupts me, No, I'm calling in sick. I can't leave Shinji the way he is now.  
  
I nod, still smiling, I know. I'll come here. Okay? I reach out and take her hand, pulling her up to her feet.  
  
She says, her lips pulling into a smile as I turn to go. I watch her enter and close the door behind her before I step into the elevator.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
I'm standing alone in the kitchen, cutting myself a piece of green tea cake, when Misato comes into the room. Her eyes are red and watery and I can tell she's upset. I sit down and eat my cake, watching as she gets a beer and apparently calms herself during the first few sips, sitting across from me.  
  
I'm sorry I was so hard on you at dinner. She says finally, staring down at her beer, condensation beading up and pooling around the can.  
  
I shrug,   
  
No, I'm just so stressed out. I shouldn't have done it. It's true... I am babying Shinji. It's just that... I don't know what else to do for him. Her voice cracks slightly and she quickly pulls herself together, taking another sip from her beer.  
  
I take another bite of my cake, Just... Just forget it. I was pissed. I know I've been a pain lately, and I can't make up for what I did to Shinji... But I still don't see why he can't get over it.  
  
She looks up at me now, leaning forward, Asuka, I know how you feel about Shinji. He told me what happened. I know you're jealous of his feelings for Kaworu and now of me sleeping with him, but-  
  
I interrupt, I'm not jealous!  
  
She raises an eyebrow and simply looks at me, disbelief on her features.  
  
I sigh exasperatedly, Okay... So maybe I'm jealous. I don't even know anymore. I mean, either way... What's wrong with him? People lose loved ones all the time, why is he acting like this is the end of the world?  
  
She leans back, To him it is the end of the world. I thought maybe he'd get better, but... He's... He's just getting worse.  
  
Now I'm the one raising an eyebrow, a questioning expression on my face.  
  
He... He got the blade out of my razor... He cut himself up pretty bad. Her voice cracks again and she quickly lifts the can to her lips.  
  
I whisper, my gaze going downward. I never thought Shinji would go so far. Guilt floods my mind and anger wells within me. Anger for myself mostly, but my pride will never allow me to let others know just how much I hate myself. So, the anger is instead directed towards Shinji, the one I love. He can really be stupid sometimes.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
I close the door as I step into my little apartment only three blocks from the building I work in. It's a tiny little place. In such a nice neighborhood, it's the only one I can afford, even on my salary. The living room, dining room, and kitchen are all one room. Being a guy, every flat surface is littered with either beer cans, trash, or papers dealing with my work. There's a little refrigerator, a tiny counter stove, a microwave, the sink, a TV, a little table, and two chairs. I can cross the room in five steps. My bedroom is hardly big enough for my twin size bed yet I still managed to squeeze in a dresser since there isn't a closet. The miniature bathroom is only accessible through the bedroom, which tends to be a bit awkward for company, but mostly I don't have company, with the exception of Katsuragi.   
  
Even with all the junk and clutter, I quickly locate my cordless phone. I then thumb through about fifty different papers piled on the counter. It takes only a minute or two to find the information I'd dug up earlier this morning. I glance at the clock. It's pretty late, but knowing Gendo Ikari, it shouldn't be a problem.  
  
The phone rings twice before he answers,   
  
I can't help but smirk at his rude greeting, We need to talk. I say, my voice cool and calm and devoid of emotion.  
  
I can picture him sitting up behind his desk, Who is this? How'd you get this number.  
  
Ryoji Kaji.  
  
Ah, Mr. Kaji, and to what do I owe the honor? Ikari's voice is smug now and I can just see his cruel smirk.  
  
It's about your son. He's on the verge of death. Katsuragi's doing her best, but it's not enough. The boy is in a severe state of depression.  
  
The line is quiet for a few moments, And what do you want me to do about it?  
  
I want to scream and yell and curse at the bastard, but I keep my cool, I'm guessing the Angel is faring about the same. I suggest you take Shinji in, room them together.  
  
Surely you're kidding. He says it as if I've lost my marbles, as if my suggestion is so far out there that I must be insane.  
  
Are you learning much? Will the Angel live long enough for you to attain the data you want? Perhaps the Angel would be more willing if you did this one simple thing. Not only that, but you have the chance to save your son's life.  
  
More silence on the line, longer this time, I'll call you at this number in the morning with my decision. And with that the line went dead.  
  
I mutter a few obscenities as I hang up the phone. I just can't imagine how Gendo Ikari's mind works. I wonder which had more sway in my convincing, the thought that more information could be gained were the Angel to live longer or the fact that Shinji's life could be saved. I don't doubt it's the information the cruel man so wants, but I can't help but hope, for Shinji's sake, that perhaps he cares for his son after all, even if only a little.  
  
I retrieve a frozen dinner from the freezer. I know it wasn't long ago that I ate dinner at Katsuragi's, but my stomach feels uneasy. The thought of hot food settling within me seems like a comfort and I quickly set to work heating up my second dinner.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
Someone's ringing the bell. That's my first thought as my eyes crack open. I glance at the clock. 6:24 AM. Way too early. I cover my head and groan.   
  
Shinji's hold on me tightens somewhat and I sense him stirring, He grumbles, sleepy and confused.  
  
I groan again, this time pushing the covers back, Someone's at the door. I mumble, pulling my self up out of bed and stumbling out of my room.  
  
The moment the door opens, Kaji barges in, What took you so long?! I told you I was coming over this morning!  
  
I blink several times as I close the door again, following him into the kitchen. He's wearing the same thing he was wearing last night and I get the feeling he's running on nothing more than caffeine.  
  
He calls, repeating himself several times before Shinji steps out of my room in nothing more than a pair of white boxers. There's a T-shirt in his hand, however, and as he approaches, he pulls it over his head.  
  
Asuka pokes her head out her door, What's with all the noise? She shouts.  
  
She's ignored as Kaji hurries over to Shinji, I've got some good news for you kid. I talked to your father last night and this morning-  
  
Shinji's eyes go wide and he interrupts, You saw him?  
  
Kaji looks a bit baffled and shakes his head, No, over the phone, but listen... If you're willing, you can go where they're holding Kaworu and stay there with him.  
  
It doesn't seem possible, but Shinji's eyes go wider, a grin instantly forming, Really? In the same room and everything?  
  
Kaji's grinning too now,   
  
I step forward, Wait a minute, wait a minute... What's going to happen in there? Are they going to be well fed and taken care of? Are they supposed to live the rest of their lives there?  
  
Oh, Misato, it doesn't matter! If we can just be together, it doesn't matter! Shinji's practically jumping up and down and I'm not sure I've ever seen him looking so happy and excited, despite the injuries littering his arms and thighs.  
  
Kaji sobers up somewhat, You will get fed like Kaworu, which is three times a day. You'll also be subject to testing, just like Kaworu. They'll make you sign a bunch of papers and basically you'll become their property. It's a big risk. You really should think it through before making a decision.  
  
Shinji nods, also sobering, There's no question. I want to go, I want to be with him, but... For how long?  
  
Kaji sighs, Ikari couldn't be clear about how long. I assume until they've gotten all the information from Kaworu that they possibly can. It's Ikari's thinking that Kaworu will cooperate if the two of you are together.  
  
Shinji glances at me for a moment, obviously thinking it over. I speak up, It could be just one day... One day of tests, then the both of you could be destroyed. I say, worry clear in my voice.  
  
Even for just one day though... Shinji smiles then, I'll go.  
  
I can't help but smile as well. To me it all sounds like insanity. What's one day? But I know Shinji's different, and I understand that his love runs deeper than mine ever could. If this is what he wants, if this will make him happy, I'm willing to go along with it. I look to Kaji, mouthing a thank you. He smiles in return, nodding.  
  
Shinji turns then, hurrying back down the hall. Seconds later he's returning, wearing a pair of wrinkled pants and one of his school shirts.  
  
Asuka steps out of her room. She's wearing a yellow tank top lined with thin, white lace and a pair of matching shorts, her night clothes, Are you crazy? She asks, her words directed to Shinji.  
  
He shrugs,   
  
She looks utterly confused, You must be. You're willing to risk your life for him?  
  
Shinji smiles, I love him, Asuka. I don't know any other way to explain it.  
  
She shakes her head, tears welling in her brilliant blue eyes, And what about me? What about my feelings?  
  
His expression softens and he steps ever so close to her. My eyes widen and my breath catches in my lungs as he leans in. His lips press against hers and I note that there is some tongue action. They remain connected for a moment or two, their eyes closed.   
  
Then, Shinji slowly pulls back, his eyes open, I'm not the one for you, Asuka. Your someone special is still out there. Don't worry, you'll find him. His voice is a soft whisper.  
  
Her eyes remain closed, a few tears leaking down her cheeks as she nods. He kisses her chastely on the forehead and I feel my eyes watering. He turns and looks to Kaji and then to me before going around Asuka, heading for the front door.  
  
I'll be just a minute. I say to Kaji in a rush as I hurry back to my room. I pull on a pair of too tight blue jeans and search for a bra. The only one I can find is blue and shows clearly through the worn, white T-shirt I pull on. I just shrug, hurrying out of the room.  
  
I approach Asuka and place my hands on her shoulders. Her hands are on her face and she's sobbing, I'll be back. Stay here. Don't worry about school today. She doesn't answer and I don't wait for her to.  
  
Kaji and Shinji are waiting for me in the hall. Not a word is spoken as we descend in the elevator and hail a cab. In just minutes we're all standing in front of the immense, shining building.   
  
I swallow, fear churning in my stomach, You're sure you want to do this?  
  
Shinji turns his head to look at me,   
  
What if I never see you again? I ask, my eyes tearing up.  
  
Just don't worry about me. Kaworu and I will be together always, even in death. It's where I want to be. I'm happy, so you have to be happy too. Okay?  
  
His words are reassuring and I wonder how long Shinji's been this way without me knowing. I move close and hug him tight, I whisper in his ear.  
  
Finally we pull apart and Kaji speaks up, Ready then?  
  
We both nod and then all three of us are approaching the entrance. A man in a fancy suit opens the door for us and a woman behind a desk wearing far too much lipstick smiles up at us, May I help you?  
  
Ryoji Kaji, Misato Katsuragi, and Shinji Ikari to see Gendo Ikari. Kaji's words are firm and confident and I'm amazed at his ability to control his voice as well as his expressions.  
  
The woman's eyes widen, Yes, of course. I have instructions that you're to take the elevator to the fourteenth floor.  
  
We don't hesitate, heading straight for the elevator. It opens the instant Kaji presses the little arrow button pointing up and we all step inside. The ride is slow and unnerving and I find I'm sweating like a pig.  
  
Kaji glances at me, Just relax.  
  
Oh sure, just like that. I grumble as the doors open into a huge white room. I'm amazed. There are people everywhere. It's nothing like I thought it'd be. I was expecting something similar to the many Nerv research labs where everything was spotless and organized, everything in order, everyone in their place. Here there were people in lab coats skittering about all over the place with papers, files, discs, etc. in their hands.  
  
A man approaches us, a big broad man without a coat, Right this way please. He says politely. We follow him to the back of the room and into a big glass office.  
  
There, Gendo Ikari is sitting behind a desk, Have a seat. He says, more a demand than a offer. Still, we do so. The man who showed us in leaves, shutting the doors behind him.  
  
Ikari leans back in his chair, So, Shinji, I guess you agreed to my terms.  
  
Go over them again. Kaji says, his voice doing the same trick Gendo's had only moments ago. It sounded like a demand rather than a suggestion.  
  
Ikari smirks, You will stay with the Angel for as long as he is with us, and in return, you sign yourself over to us. You may or may not be subject to tests and/or experiments. He says, looking at Shinji as he speaks.  
  
He'll be well fed and taken care of? I ask, unable to keep from asking.  
  
Ikari only smirks again, Of course.  
  
What about visits from civilians like myself or classmates? I ask, sitting forward for this one.  
  
Ikari shakes his head, There will be no communication with the outside world.  
  
I slump back, and Shinji places a hand on mine, It's okay Misato. He whispers.  
  
So, you agree then to my terms? Gendo's voice seems impatient now.  
  
Shinji nods,   
  
Good. You'll need to sign these though before we can go any further. Ikari says, sliding an inch thick stack of papers across his desk.  
  
Shinji pulls his chair close and lifts the pen lying atop the stack. He doesn't appear nervous or scared, and the entire room remains silent as he signs each page.  
  
Ikari rises and motions for someone to enter. I turn to see two men enter, neither doctors. Shinji only smiles at me and then Kaji before rising and allowing them to take hold of his arms.  
  
Very well then. Gendo says, I guess that's that. He motions again and the man from earlier enters to escort Kaji and I back to the elevator. As the doors are closing I glimpse the two men unlocking a door in the back and escorting Shinji through it. Then the elevator doors are closed and I'm sobbing.  
  
Hey, hey... It's what he wanted. He's happy. Kaji whispers, wrapping his strong arms around me.  
  
I nod, wiping at my tears, I know, I know.  
  
Everyone in the lobby stares at us as we leave. Surely they all notice that what was once three is now two, not to mention my tear-stained face.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	15. Warmth

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: This chapter's a bit short, but... No worries, the next one's coming soon. ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XV: Warmth  
...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
I hear the jingle of keys and a few moments later I hear it again, much closer this time. The door opens and I'm much more than surprised to see Shinji. He's standing out in the hall with a man on each side of him.   
  
The man who opened the door to my cell stretches out his arm as I rise from my seat, displaying his open palm in a gesture for me to stop, Just wait there, buddy. We'll have you're boyfriend ready in just a minute. There's disgust in the word boyfriend, but I don't care. I just watch as Shinji's ordered to undress. He does so without question. They toss him a handful of clothes unexpectedly and they fall to the floor. He's then ordered to get dressed. He calmly complies, bending and lifting the clothes. They're exactly like the ones I'm wearing.  
  
Come on, get over here. The man near me says, speaking to Shinji, who looks up. The moment his eyes fall upon me he's smiling, rushing forward. The guards who'd been standing on either side of him are shocked and hurry after him.  
  
Shinji brushes passed the man in the doorway and our lips meet in an instant, leaving the guards to simply stare on.  
  
Finally, one of them speaks up, And with that the doors closed and locked and we're left alone.  
  
Shinji angles his head and his mouth opens in that familiar way. My tongue dives in without hesitation. However, I'm weak and though I still have plenty of breath, my knees give out. I can tell Shinji's also weak, but not nearly like myself, and he manages to hold me in his arms long enough to help me sit on the bed.  
  
He then sits beside me, My father finally let me come stay with you. He explains through a beaming smile.  
  
I can't help but smile in return,   
  
He thinks you'll cooperate better with me here, plus he wants to do some tests on me too I think. He lifts his hand to my cheek and tenderly rubs down and around to the back of my neck. Gently, he pulls me forward and our mouths meet again in the same way. The kiss lasts much longer this time, and when we part, it's due to lack of breath.  
  
Shinji's fingers go to the buttons of my shirt, but I stop him, I don't think I can.  
  
He looks at me with concern in his eyes, Are you hurt?  
  
I shrug, I'm weak.  
  
You're not eating? He asks, continuing his unbuttoning. I shake my head as he finishes, pushing my shirt open and back. He places his warm hands on me, his fingers caressing my defined ribs and sunken stomach.  
  
They hurt you? He asks, his touch like a butterfly's wing over the bruises on my upper arms.  
  
I shrug again, The guards can be a bit rough.  
  
He leans forward, kissing the violet splotches on my white skin ever-so-carefully. His hands then trail down the length of my arms to my wrists, inspecting the bruised, broken, scabbed flesh due to my restraints.  
  
I take his hands in mine, I want to feel you against me. I whisper.  
  
He smiles, rising to his feet and easily removing his clothes. I quickly take note of his thinness as well as the cuts adorning his arms and thighs, but I say nothing of it. I understand completely. Once naked, he moves close, untying the drawstring to my pants. I lean to the right and then to the left and then he's pulling them down. Neither my shirt or pants can be completely removed though because of my bindings.  
  
We lie beside one another atop the blanket on the hard, metal bed. There's really only room for one, but we manage. We use the same blanket we're lying upon to cover with. Shinji wraps his arms around me, our legs intertwined. His warmth is utterly amazing and I don't know how I survived so long without it. Instantly I feel my cool flesh warming and my stomach growls.  
  
Shinji sniffs and I realize his eyes are full of tears, He asks through a smile.  
  
I nod, then, after a few moments, ask, Why are you crying?  
  
He moves closer, if that's possible, I'm just so happy. I missed you so much.  
  
I smile wide, my hands moving to the rough, scabbed lines on his arms, Are these for me?  
  
He nods, and I ask, Did they help at all with the pain?  
  
He shrugs, A little.  
  
My hands move to his ribs and down to his sunken stomach, lingering there, Also for me?  
  
He nods again, But it looks like you didn't eat at all. Kami, my Angel's become a skeleton. He whispers, his hands moving to my sharp hip bones, resting there like they're handles as he moves even closer.  
  
I sigh, resting my forehead against his chest, I couldn't sleep either... Now, I'm so tired.  
  
He wraps his arms around me again, shifting slightly so that I'm more comfortable, I only managed by sleeping with Misato. Every night I pretended she was you.  
  
I chuckle, My Shinji... Minutes pass and a sleepiness like I've never felt before overcomes me. Seconds later I'm slipping into a dreamless sleep in the arms of my lover, and it's pure bliss.  
  
Overhead in the corner, the camera, with its watchful eye, records one of the happiest moments of my life.  
  


...........................  


  
Gendo Ikari:  
  
Sir, there's some activity in the Angel's cell.  
  
I nod and rise from my seat, walking out from behind my desk and out of my office. There are a number of scientists gathered around the live feed monitor as I approach. They all make way, moving aside so that I may take a look.  
  
Shinji's undressing and then undresses the Angel. I think for a moment that I'm about to witness a sex act, however, it turns out they only intend on sleeping. Still, it's the most interesting thing we have seen from this Angel and I smirk. This was a good decision after all.  
  
Sir, should we prepare for testing on both subjects?   
  
No. Let them get their rest, they'll need it. Tomorrow morning we'll begin. I push my glasses up on my nose and glance down again at the monitor. My son and an Angel, how truly baffling.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I'm more than a little worried as Kaworu suddenly slips into unconsciousness, but he had said that he couldn't sleep before. I smile, brush his silvery locks from his face, careful not to disturb him. It's unnaturally cold in this little room, and I pull the blanket tighter around us.  
  
He's so thin and so exhausted. I know he wanted me earlier, but he's so weak. My eyes water. I want our bodies joined so desperately. It pains me to think that my own father would have my lover weakened so, enabling him to even be with me. Hate churns in my stomach, a hate that's always been there. It doesn't upset me though or cause my tears to worsen. I know this hate. It's like an old friend visiting again, and it doesn't surprise me at all.  
  
The silence is interrupted and I listen as the noises grow closer. One of the guards opens the door and a young woman enters with two trays balanced in her arms. She blushes at the sight of us in bed and quickly sets the trays down on the floor. She hurries out and I glance at the guard whose expression reads disgust as he closes the door.  
  
My gaze now moves to the trays left on the floor. Two identical meals. Some sort of egg dish. The plates are heaping with the delicious smelling food, and suddenly, I'm famished. I pull from Kaworu's arms and pull my clothes on in defense of the cold. I then return to the bed, resting a hand against my lover's cheek, I whisper. No response. I lean close and lick across his lips, Kaworu, wake up.  
  
I watch as his eyeballs shift under their lids. Red peeks out at me as they crack open and he begins blinking into wakefulness, He asks, confused.  
  
I take hold of his hands and pull gently, Come on, sit up. He looks at me questioningly, but doesn't argue. Once he's sitting up, I help him pull his clothes back on. I then grab the single blanket and wrap it about his shivering body.  
  
I take a plate from one of the trays and place it in his lap, Time to eat breakfast. His lips crack into a smile and he nods. I break his chopsticks apart and hand them over before grabbing my own plate.  
  
The food is just as delicious as it smells. Within the tasty egg is fried Salmon and it brings me to life as it settles in my stomach. I feel energy and strength returning almost at once. Tall glasses of juice are provided and I gulp hungrily at it, handing Kaworu his glass when he desires a sip.  
  
Soon enough our plates are empty and we're back in bed. My body serves as the only heat source as we cling to one another. Even in such a horrible place, comfort embraces us. Simply being together is a blessing. We simply lie together until lunch is served. Tofu steaks with spring onions and mixed salad leaves. My father hadn't been lying when he'd said we'd be well fed. Our plates are heaping and our glasses full, this time with tea. We eat every bit of it, our stomachs rejoicing. Again, we return to bed. It's almost as if our bodies are taking in all that they had been missing during our separation.  
  
Dinner arrives, this time a lovely dark-skinned woman serving us, Well, look at you! She exclaims as she steps further into the room than necessary. I notice her accent is a bit strange.  
  
She pushes our earlier trays aside with her foot as she sets the two new ones down. My mouth waters at the sight, golden marinated Mackerel, mixed rice, and green and yellow layered cakes, and again, ample servings of each dish.  
  
The woman then retrieves the two empty trays, My name's Candice. I guess you're Mr. Ikari's son, huh? Shinji, am I right?  
  
She's so forward and I'm unprepared for kindness here. So, instead of replying, I end up simply staring up at her.  
  
She smiles, a wide, toothy smile, Don't worry. I'm not like these goons. She says, gesturing to the guard behind her.  
  
Said guard scoffs, That's enough, Candice. You've served their meals, now come on.  
  
Her eyebrows draw together in anger as she glances his way, Least I can do is be polite. She growls, turning back to me, Well, guess I best be going. Don't want the boss getting mad at me for talking to you guys. See you later, Angel. And with that she's turning away, heading out the door.  
  
I quickly sit up, Thank... Thank you! I call out as the door slams closed. I hope she heard me. I feel Kaworu moving against me as he sits up as well, his stomach growling.  
  
I glance at him, my lips instantly pulling into a smile, She's nice.  
  
He nods, Yes, she's one of the few here whose been kind to me.  
  
I let it remain at that, preferring not to talk about cruelty and pain. Instead, I reach for our trays, pulling them close and lifting the plates. It doesn't take long for us to eat, our dishes clear of food, our glasses empty.  
  
Why is it so cold in here? I ask as I organize the trays and their contents, pushing them into a corner.  
  
Kaworu shrugs, Germs and such thrive in warm climate, perhaps it's an attempt at keeping everything clean and sterile.  
  
I shiver and hurry back to the slight warmth the blanket provides. We're still naked, having left our clothes off as we began dinner. Kaworu's skin isn't nearly as cold as it was when I first arrived, still, I can't help but shiver against him.  
  
I can't stand it. Next time someone comes in here, I'm going to ask if something can be done about this cold. I whisper, wrapping my limbs about my lover.  
  
Am I too cold for you? Kaworu asks, concerned.  
  
I quickly shake my head, No. Never. My answer is definite and almost stern and he smiles at me.  
  
Warm this cold flesh, Shinji. He whispers, licking the shell of my ear.   
  
I shiver again, not from the cold though. There's instantly a stirring in my nether regions and I gasp, Are you sure? You're not too weak?  
  
He shrugs, Perhaps, not nearly like I was, but then, maybe you can be on top. The glint in his eyes is lustful and it alone nearly causes me to moan. I lean over him, pressing my lips to his, tasting our recent meal. His mouth opens wide and I dive in, memorizing again what I already know by heart. I lean over more, shifting my leg over him so that I'm straddling him.  
  
I breathe, resting my head against his chest, I love you so much it hurts inside.   
  
His voice is just as breathy, I know, I know.  
  
I feel him stiffen against me and I make a sound in my throat, adjusting so that our erections meet. He groans and rolls his head back. I take advantage of the moment and place sloppy kisses to his neck, trailing down to his chest. His nipples are hard nubs against my lips and I lavish affection upon each.  
  
Kaworu moans and pushes his hips against me. If I dally much longer he'll be begging me to hurry, but that's not what I want. I want to please him and give him what he wants. I move back up, our groins meeting again, and I stop. We don't have any lubricant. I lean so that my back is curved and I have easy access to my entrance. Kaworu's watching as I finger myself, stretching my opening to accommodate my lover.   
  
He smiles and reaches out to touch my face, I love you the most right now, like this.  
  
I feel the blush rise to my cheeks and I smile in return as I continue my task. I bite my lip, not quite trusting myself, but I know Kaworu won't feel any pain, and any I feel will be worth it to give him pleasure. I position his throbbing hard on and ever so slowly lower myself. I try to keep relaxed, and eventually, I'm completely filled and panting.  
  
Opening my eyes, I see that Kaworu's hands are in fists. If they weren't bound, I can imagine that they'd be gripping the blanket. His chest is rising and falling and his eyes are closed, squeezed shut.  
  
I feel adjusted, so I use my thighs to lift myself only to lower myself again, long slow thrusts. I angle my hips in slightly different positions and then I find it, that place deep inside, and I moan, my hands holding Kaworu's handle-like hips. In just a few short minutes, the pace has picked up to short, quick thrusts. Kaworu's groaning and writhing beneath me, and I get the feeling that he's going to come soon. Just a little more...  
  
Then I feel his hands on my aching hard on and the world does a somersault. Seconds later he comes, white-hot and deep within me. Soon after I'm coming, making a mess of his stomach. I'm exhausted and breathing hard, I move to lie beside him.  
  
He turns his head and smiles wide at me, Thank you.  
  
I chuckle, placing a chaste kiss upon his lips, Any time. We pull the blanket around us and hold one another as our eyes slip closed. I'm not sure, but I get the feeling that it's night out.  
  
It's as if Kaworu hears my thoughts, Nn... Bedtime. He says groggily.  
  
I nod, though he doesn't see it. Ten minutes later we're both fast asleep, dreaming of one another, warmth flooding our veins as we embrace.  
  
And overhead in the corner, a camera, with its watchful eye, records everything without my knowledge.  
  


...........................  


  
Gendo Ikari:  
  
I enter the main lab right on time, as usual. My suit is clean, straight, and perfect, my coat spotless. I walk passed my employees with my chin up, not even thinking about the action. It's simply instinct, my own smug attitude.  
  
I enter my office, and just as I finish putting away my briefcase, a young woman enters, Sir, there's some interesting video feed from last night.  
  
I nod and let her leave. I remain calm and take my time as I approach the few doctors gathered about a small TV/VCR in one. Noticing my arrival, one of them presses play and images flood the screen. My eyes go wide behind my glasses, but I quickly calm and mask my initial surprise. It seems my son and the Angel had sex last night. I watch in disgust at the way their bodies join and move together. Just disgusting. With a simple hand gesture, the tape is stopped and the screen goes black.  
  
They've obviously gotten their rest. Begin preparations for testing. My order is simple and direct and at once the room is buzzing.  
  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	16. Testing

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Be warned... Much angst and such. No worries though... Remember, this story will have a happy ending. Oh, and by the way, I'm practically finished! So, posting should speed up. Anyway, enjoy! And don't forget to review!  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XVI: Testing  
...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I shift in my sleep, blinking my eyes open at the sounds of keys... Someone's coming. I glance at Kaworu to see that he's wide awake, gazing passed me to the door. I touch his face, causing him to look down at me, Good morning, my love. I whisper, watching as his lips pull into a smile.  
  
The sounds are closer now and I turn to watch the door open, expecting it to be the young woman with our breakfast. It's not the woman though. It's four guards, looking at us in disgust.  
  
One steps forward, Come on, get up and get dressed. His voice is rough and demanding and I don't hesitate to do as he says. I rise and pull on my discarded clothes while Kaworu sits up and calmly pulls his clothes into place. The guard motions for both of us to stand, and without question, we do so.  
  
My arms are firmly grabbed and I understand now the reasoning behind Kaworu's bruises. We're guided out and down the white hall and into the large crowded room. My father's standing there with several scientists to either side of him.  
  
He smirks down at me, his eyes masked behind his glasses, Testing begins today.  
  
I remain silent. He simply stares at me for a few moments, perhaps waiting for some kind of response. When he realizes he's not going to get one, he glances up at the guards and gestures for them to follow.   
  
We're led to a corner where two sturdy, metal chairs are situated. We're sat down and a doctor approaches, pushing my wrists and ankles into the right places in order to secure me to said chair. When he's done with me, he removes Kaworu's restraints and quickly has him bound to his chair much like myself.  
  
Another doctor says, a young woman with long blonde hair, We're going to be asking you some questions and we want you to answer honestly. The sound of her voice is beautiful, and I can imagine that at one point in her life, she was a singer, however, her tone is austere, nearly frighteningly so.  
  
Yes, of course. Kaworu says and I turn to look at him. He's calm and smiling. I almost can't believe it. How is he capable of remaining so in such horrible conditions? He moves his head and meets my eyes with his, Shinji, are you not going to answer? They become quite upset if they aren't answered. My eyes widen and I quickly turn to look to the blonde woman. I simply nod, unable to speak. Doesn't Kaworu even realize what he's saying? How can he be so passive? I'm scared to death.  
  
Luckily, my nod is sufficient and the woman continues, speaking to Kaworu, You would not answer before, but perhaps now you will... How is it that you have returned to Earth?  
  
My father shifts, moving closer only slightly. I can tell he's anxious for an answer.  
  
Kami put life into me again. Kaworu says simply, truthfully.  
  
The woman asks, her voice aggravated.  
  
I do not begin to understand the abilities of Kami, nor would I try to. His wrath is one to be feared. I watch as my Angel speaks, his lips like liquid, opening and closing. He could be reading a recipe or speaking tender things to my ear. He's so indifferent.  
  
So, you're saying that one day, you simply were? The woman asks, her voice mocking and disbelieving.  
  
Kaworu nods and the woman glances back at my father, who also nods.  
  
The woman sighs, Very well. Then perhaps you can an answer why you returned to Earth.  
  
Kami fulfilled Shinji's prayer. I blush at the mention of my name, turning again to look at Kaworu. His smile's wider now, as if the memory pleases him. I'm glad.  
  
And what prayer was that?  
  
Kaworu's smile widens even further, He prayed for a best friend, a lover, someone who'd understand him completely. And so, Kami gave him me.  
  
The woman looks angry. I can see that she doesn't believe a word of it, but before she can speak up, my fathers steps closer, Is that true, Shinji?  
  
I sit up, my fear returning with force, I nod.  
  
I never knew you were the religious type. His voice holds that same disbelief in it.  
  
No, but I believe in Kami, and even though I didn't much like him... I was so depressed and lonely, all I could think of was Kaworu. So... So, I prayed and wished for him. I really didn't think Kami would hear me or care, but I thought I deserved it. After... After everything I went through. I explain, slowly thinking every word through before I say it.  
  
My father smirks, So, it's true then, Angel? You are a gift to my son from Kami above.  
  
Kaworu nods and my father goes on, You're like property then?  
  
Kaworu instantly shakes his head, No, not at all. Like all of Kami's creatures, I possess free will. That is why, though I am an Angel, Kami decided to give me to Shinji, because I return his feelings.  
  
My father makes a face of disgust, Love then. Is that what you're saying?  
  
Kaworu nods and I'm blushing, smiling to myself and trying to keep my eyes from starring lovingly at my lover.  
  
My father mutters, glancing to the blonde woman and nodding as he moves back to stand and observe.  
  
What kind of connection do the two of you have? She asks, glancing from one to the other.  
  
When it's obvious I'm not going to speak up, Kaworu does,   
  
Any sort of telepathic abilities? Anything of that sort?  
  
No. With our flesh in the way, our minds are unable to meet. Kaworu says, and the woman scribbles a bit on a clipboard she's just picked up. I think about his words and wonder at how it will be when our minds meet. Will we no longer speak to one another? Will we already know what we're going to say before we say it and simply be? It's confusing and my brain aches with trying to understand it all. However, I'm fairly sure that this is what Kaworu meant for us after death. And as hopeful as I am for us to be together when our lives end, I can't help but cling to life and conversation and uncertainty. Even knowing that we'll be together forever, I fear the end of our lives together.  
  
Okay then, what of your powers? You were unwilling to speak to us of your capabilities before... What exactly is it that you're capable of?  
  
This time Kaworu remains silent. Powers? I never thought that my Angel had powers. Of course, that day at school had been strange, when that wind had come with a message of love. And how can I forget so long ago, when Kaworu took control of Eva Unit 02? Now I find myself curious... Indeed, what powers do my Angel have?  
  
My father speaks up, Do you plan on answering?  
  
You wanted me to be honest... I cannot answer that question as I really do not know. Kaworu says this with a serious expression, his eyes gazing at the floor.  
  
My father nods again to the woman and she turns to me, What power do you have over the Angel?  
  
My eyes go wide,   
  
She nods, and I go on, I... I don't know that I have any power. We don't control each other. We're equal.  
  
She jots a few things down, Have you had sexual relations with anyone other than the Angel?  
  
My mouth drops open, That's... My sexual relations are none of your business.  
  
We know you've had intercourse with the Angel. Please, just answer the question. She seems annoyed, but I refuse to answer and instead just sit and stare at her.  
  
My father gestures for something, and I watch as a little TV is rolled over on a narrow table. A young man presses a button and suddenly I'm watching myself and Kaworu together. I try and lift my hands over my face, but I'm quickly reminded that they're bound to the chair. My cheeks redden and my eyes water. I'm so utterly embarrassed... And angry.  
  
They pause the tape and wheel the TV slightly out of the way, How could you...? You filmed us together?  
  
There's a security camera in the room, if you had bothered to look. My father scoffs, then gestures to the screen, Have you had sexual relations with anyone other than the Angel?  
  
The tears are running now and I simply shake my head. My father nods, satisfied, motioning for the blonde to continue, Do you experience any visions or anything out of the ordinary?  
  
I laugh, a sick choked sound, During sex?  
  
She says plainly, rudely.  
  
Well, seeing as I've never had sex with anyone else, how would I know if anything out of the ordinary' happened? My voice is strong and bitter now.  
  
My father growls, Just answer the question.  
  
I fear that voice, Yeah... I experience love.  
  
Kaworu turns and looks at me, the smile returning to his face.  
  
Love? I wouldn't say that was out of the ordinary. The woman says, annoyed again.  
  
I turn and look straight her, hatred in my eyes, It is for me.  
  
Enough. Start the tests. My father rises then and strides across the room, closing himself in a glass office. We're left to the men and women in lab coats. Guards approach and remove us from the chairs only to lay us upon rolling tables to be bound down again.  
  
My tears return as we're separated. The table is cold and my clothes are cut and pulled from my body. A skinny guy leans over me, Hey, relax. He whispers as he jabs a needle in my arm, drawing forth my life essence.  
  
What... What are you doing? I ask, straining my head in order to see.  
  
Just taking some blood. He says, placing a red tube on a tray and grabbing an empty one.  
  
So much? I ask as he reaches for the fifth tube.  
  
He chuckles, This is the last one.  
  
When he's finished, a few others join him in sticking little wires to my body. Something to do with nerves and pulse. I don't understand any of it. However, I am more than embarrassed as their hands roam my naked body. When they've finished, they hook me up to a noisy machine.  
  
Did you get his temperature? A woman asks.  
  
Oh, yeah... 97.8.  
  
Oral or rectal?  
  
Huh? Oh, oral.  
  
So, what was the rectal? My eyes are wide now and I can't believe they're talking about my private, secret places in such a way. I dread what I'm about to hear.  
  
I didn't take one. The skinny man says, obviously getting annoyed.  
  
The woman huffs a loud breath and I watch in pure terror as she pulls on rubber gloves, Fine, I'll do it.  
  
No, please... Don't. I say, gaining her attention. She only pauses for a moment though, obviously thinking it best to simply ignore my plea. I feel her cold hands between my legs, spreading my buttocks. I'm tense and scared and try as I might, I can't seal myself off to her. My eyes water again as the cold device is pushed into me. As horrible and violating as it is, it takes only a minute or two.   
  
When she pulls away, I exhale a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding, 98.7. So I guess you haven't take a sperm sample either?  
  
I clench my eyes shut, the tears free flowing now. I hear the skinny man sigh, No, I didn't.  
  
I crack my eyes open to see that she's pulling on another pair of gloves, I beg, Please... Don't do this. I can't take this.  
  
My words don't reach her though and she places her strange, cold hands upon me. I'm all out sobbing as she works my traitorous body into an erection. I scream and plead and she doesn't stop. I feel myself reaching that point and I go wild. I pull and yank at my bindings, calling out for anyone to stop this. No one helps, and seconds later I'm coming, the semen all collected in a plastic container.  
  
I go limp and simply sob, cursing them all. I feel so used and violated. No one other than Kaworu has ever touched me in such a way, and I never had any intention of changing that.   
  
I look into the skinny man's eyes, Rape... That's what that was... I can't believe you can stand there and allow all this.  
  
He seems sympathetic for a moment, but then his eyes go cold and he shrugs, Sorry, kid.  
  


...........................  


  
Asuka:  
  
As usual, I step into the classroom and take my seat mere seconds before the bell rings. I glance at Hikari to find that she's shaking her head, just as she always does. Everything seems just the same, well, of course, except for Shinji's absence. Other than that, however, everything is just the same, and I find it hard to be upset here. I laugh and talk and study just as I always have.  
  
That's why, when during lunch, I was surprised when the others approached, asking about Shinji.  
  
Where's he been? He's already missed a ton of work. Kensuke says, stuffing a rice ball in his mouth.  
  
I slouch and look elsewhere, They came and took Kaworu.  
  
I can hear the confusion in Kensuke's voice, but I'm not sure I should say anything. I doubt Gendo Ikari would like me spreading the word. He'd probably have his stupid goons come and get me.  
  
However, Hikari answers while I'm thinking it over, He's an Angel. The Seventeenth Angel.  
  
I look up and both boys are staring wide-eyed, Are you for real? Toji asks, setting his lunch aside.  
  
I just nod, They came and took him away and Shinji's been super depressed... And then, yesterday Kaji came over and... I droop my head and place my hands over my face, hiding my tears. I don't want to think about what Misato said about Shinji cutting himself with her razor... I don't want to think about his kiss and the farewell behind it...  
  
I feel a reassuring hand on my shoulder and I know it's Hikari, It's okay, Asuka, just tell us what happened.  
  
I take a deep breath and look up again a moment later, Shinji went to live with the Angel where he's being held. It's like a laboratory and a prison at the same time. I can't believe he chose to go live there. Anger pulls at me as I wipe my tears away.  
  
Toji sighs, Well, Shinji did say he was in love with Kaworu. Maybe he's happier this way.  
  
I nod, remembering the way Shinji was just before he left. He was smiling and excited. I sigh and pick at my lunch.  
  
A few quiet minutes pass until Kensuke speaks up, So, when's he coming back?  
  
I stop eating and look up at them, sorrow thick in my voice, Never probably.  
  
The bell rings.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
Breakfast and lunch were skipped, however, we were served a large dinner by Candice. Her kind words didn't reach us this time though and we were finally left alone. We ate slowly and forcefully, not speaking a word.  
  
Now we lie together wrapped in our one blanket, naked, holding one another.  
  
Shinji lifts his head from my chest and presses his warm cheek to my cool one, I don't want tomorrow to come. He whispers.  
  
My hold on him tightens, I heard you calling for me... You were screaming. I say, feeling a pain deep in my soul.  
  
They... They touched me. He says, tears choking his words, and I understand.  
  
Please, don't be upset. I say, trying my best to comfort my lover, rubbing my hands along his back in long slow strokes.  
  
I don't know how you managed in here alone.  
  
I smirk, My life before wasn't much different than this.  
  
He pulls back and looks at me with wide eyes. Once he realizes I'm serious, his tears come stronger, Kaworu, I... I don't want to live like this until we die. I... I don't want to die. He buries his head into the crook of my neck and sobs.  
  
I feel that pain again within me, I'm sorry.  
  
This time he pulls back with force, No! It's not your fault. Don't ever apologize. His voice is stern and his expression serious, his hands on either side of my face.  
  
My lips pull into a wide smile as I lean closer, pressing my lips to his. He makes a little sound in his throat and opens his mouth instantly. I want to swallow him whole. I want to fall down within him. I want our beings to merge. I can only imagine when the time comes and our physical form is no more. And I tell him this.  
  
He pulls back again, But... How will we talk and kiss and have sex?  
  
I smile, Our minds will touch. Anything we wish will simply be.  
  
He looks confused and scared, But... Will it be like this? He asks, slipping his hand beneath the blanket and taking hold of my semi-erection.  
  
I take in a deep breath, No... Not quite.  
  
He shakes his head, Then I don't want it. I want this. He says, moving his hand in the most alluring way.  
  
Just imagine, Shinji... Our thoughts will be one. There will be no hesitation, no fear, no doubt in our minds of our true feelings. I explain, kissing him chastely.  
  
Again, he shakes his head, But I thought it was my imperfections you loved best.  
  
My eyes widen and I'm caught off guard. I hadn't expected him to say that. I hadn't expected realization to dawn within me. Never has such a feeling washed through me. I don't want to die either. I had grown accustomed to life in the spiritual plain, the idea of it with Shinji is comforting, but this life I have discovered here with him on Earth... How could I have been so blind? I want this too.  
  
I nod, calming and smiling to my love, You are right. I whisper, pressing my lips full to his, opening my mouth and biting gently on his lower lip as he often does.  
  
He makes a sound and I pull back to see him a bit confused, We have to think of a way to make our future possible.  
  
I nod and move in again for another taste of those pink, swollen lips, but he turns his head, We can't. I don't want them to see. He glances at the camera and I understand. I move close again and he rests his head against me, his lips wet against my chest. Our arms wrap themselves around our bodies and hold tight as sleep presses in.  
  
Just before unconsciousness takes hold of him, Shinji mumbles, Love you, Kaworu.  
  
I smile and rest my cheek against the top of his head, his hair a bit oily, I love you too.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
Several weeks later and Misato still asks me every morning of new information or changes. I tell her a few things, but mostly I keep it all to myself. Most of it she wouldn't be able to handle anyway. I know that just by looking at her. Her hands always gripping, her shoulders hunched, her entire body quivering in fear of bad news. There's no way I could explain to her all the horrible things. However, something has come up, and she's going to have to be told. I can't keep this from her. And I'm starting to see that maybe I shouldn't have kept anything from her all along.  
  
Still unsure as to what I will and won't say, I press the call button and wait for the elevator. As I'm waiting, Asuka approaches. I smile at her, You're getting home late, aren't you?  
  
She doesn't return the smile. Instead she just shrugs then asks, What are you doing here?  
  
I don't answer, my smile drooping into a frown as we step into the elevator along with an older woman.  
  
Katsuragi's at the door when it opens and both Asuka and I are surprised, What's wrong with you!? Asuka all but screams as she stalks passed.  
  
The violet-haired woman sighs, I've been waiting. She says, gesturing for me to come in. I remain quiet mostly, unlike myself, and I believe she's noticed. Still, she doesn't comment on it until we've all had dinner.  
  
Asuka still at the table, the dishes dirty and empty litter the table's surface, she can stand it no more, Kaji, what is it? What's happened?  
  
I sigh and take a big gulp from my beer, leaning back in my chair, They're almost finished testing here.  
  
Asuka asks, her eyes wide.  
  
I nod, They're going to move Kaworu to a compound in Germany for safe keeping as well as further research and experimentation.  
  
Katsuragi's eyes go wide, And Shinji?  
  
They're going to leave him here. Ikari thinks it was a mistake to take him in in the first place. I say quietly, watching her for a reaction.  
  
Asuka speaks up, But he'll probably end up killing himself. Her voice is slow and soft and full of sorrow.  
  
Katsuragi nods, Does Shinji know?  
  
No, neither of them do.  
  
She nods, Good, good. They'd both kill themselves this very night if they did.  
  
I'm hesitant as I go on, There... There's more. They think there's a possibility the other Angels will return. They're going to do to Kaworu what they did to Adam. The last comes out in a whisper and instantly Katsuragi's eyes go wide, her turmoil fading from her face, her expression blank as her eyes begin to water.  
  
They're insane. She whispers, Oh, Kaji, what are we going to do? We can't just let all this happen.  
  
Asuka's apparently confused, I don't get it? Let what happen?  
  
I sigh, looking to the girl with heavy eyes, This could result in Third Impact.  
  
She's quiet for a while, obviously thinking everything through in her head, Misato's right. We have to do something.  
  
I rise, What? Get ourselves killed? Even if we did that, it wouldn't accomplish anything. My voice is rigid and angry and it upsets Asuka instantly.  
  
Well, excuse me for caring! You may not realize it, but either way we're dead! The least we could do is try. And with that she's stomping off to her room, shutting herself off from the harsh reality.  
  
I sigh and sink back down in my chair, I didn't mean to upset her.  
  
Katsuragi smiles through her tears and reaches out to place a hand on my arm, Don't worry. It wasn't your fault. We're all upset.  
  
I nod, resting my hand upon hers, There's some things I haven't been telling you... About Shinji and Kaworu.  
  
I know.  
  
I'm a bit surprised but it leaves me quickly as I begin to explain everything I know. I tell her of the guards and the living conditions and the constant surveillance, the endless blood samples and constant questioning. I tell her about the time Shinji demanded better treatment and got roughed up by several guards and the time Kaworu was injured in different ways in order for them to observe his body's reaction. She's sobbing by the time I'm finished.  
  
I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you. I whisper, my own eyes watering from the pain and stress it caused to carry such awful things alone.  
  
She shakes her head, I understand. It's just... I want so much better for Shinji. I want him to be happy.  
  
I know, I know. Don't worry. I'll think of something. I say to her, moving closer and attempting to kiss her tears away. I fail miserably and end up joining her in her sorrow. We comfort one another with silence as we rack or brains with solutions to the horrid problems that lie ahead. I help her with the dishes and join her in her bed. Of course, sex is the last thing on our minds as we hold one another in the dark. Poor Shinji. Poor Kaworu. They have no clue what's going to happen. If only there were someone on the inside, a friend. If anything, someone simply to let them know of what awaits them.  


...........................  
  


To be continued...


	17. Escape

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Here we go with a LONG chapter! ^_^ Not many more to go... It'll be over soon. I have to apologize... I haven't proof read this yet and there may be more spelling and grammar errors than normal. Again, I apologize. Please try to overlook them.  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XVII: Escape  
...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Kaworu's pinky finger on his left hand is broken. There's a large gash on his back. Neither injury healed like the idiot scientists thought they would.  
  
My head aches and I have a black eye, or so Kaworu tells me. I can't even imagine what I must look like. A real mess for sure, I haven't looked in a mirror for days. I have a number of bruises, but they aren't of much concern. I've grown accustomed to the camera and Kaworu and I have made love a number of times in the past week. It seems to be the only escape. I've also adapted to the temperature. The cold doesn't bother me so much and I find myself sleeping uncovered fairly often.  
  
I stretch and yawn, sitting up and swinging around. My wrists and ankles are bound much like Kaworu's now. After I asked for a few small comforts, the guards began teasing and poking at me and for some strange reason, stress I guess, I went crazy. I kicked and clawed and screamed. Kaworu said I looked like a wild feline and I laughed. The guards roughed me up and it was decided that I too be kept in restraints. Now I have bruised, broken, scabbed flesh at my wrists and ankles, much like Kaworu.  
  
I rise to my feet once the blood has finished rushing down from my head, and I make my way to the corner and to the toilet. As I'm relieving myself, I hear stirring and soon, cold hands are kissing my skin in an intimate greeting. I smile at Kaworu as he joins me in an evening piss.  
  
You look beautiful. He says through a smile, his head tilted somewhat as if he were inspecting my looks to be sure he was correct.  
  
I blush and step back to the bed, taking a seat. I watch as he finishes up and turns to me. We're nude despite our restraints, having torn the flimsy clothing away. He comes close and traces my right eye with the softest touch, his little finger extended at an awkward angle.  
  
What exactly is a bruise? Scientifically, I mean. He says, taking a seat beside me, leaning forward and kissing my shiner.  
  
I chuckle, shaking my head. It amazes me, the things that turn Kaworu on, Well... Something to do with skin and muscle getting crushed when you get hit or something. I say, remembering back to my school days and almost missing them.  
  
But why do they turn this color? He asks, his hands still on my face.  
  
The blood comes to the surface. I whisper as he kisses my eye again. He begins to pull away and I lean forward, capturing his lips with mine. Our passion is slow and comforting. We move close and let the warmth build between our bodies.  
  
For some reason, this day we've been left alone. Left to rest and simply be together in this horrid little white room. Before we get too worked up, we hear the all too familiar sound of keys and footsteps. Seconds later the door is opening and Candice is stepping in with our dinner.  
  
She doesn't react to our nudity as she normally does, joking and teasing. In fact, she doesn't even notice. She sets out trays down on the floor and picks up the old ones. Her expression is glum and she doesn't make eye contact.  
  
I ask curiously, concerned. She is, after all, the only friend we have here.  
  
She turns and glances back at the guard behind her, Could you give me a minute? She asks.  
  
What for? He scoffs, chuckling as if her suggestion was the dumbest, most pointless thing he'd ever heard.  
  
Her expression turns fierce and I'm taken aback, Cause they're my friends! Cause this is the last time I'll see em! Can't you give me one damn minute alone with them!  
  
His eyes are wide, but he recovers quickly, No need to get hostile! You can have your damn minute. Just make it quick. And with that he slams the door shut, no doubt just on the other side.  
  
Now I'm really concerned, not only for Candice, but for us, Candice, what's happened? Kaworu asks. I glance to see worry evident on his fine features.  
  
She sighs, Gotta keep quiet. He's just outside. And the camera, no audio, but can't seem suspicious. She whispers, seemingly talking to herself.  
  
She straightens her posture with resolve and spits it out, They're gonna be taking you to Germany, Angel.  
  
My skin pales and my face slackens, I whisper, knowing nothing good can follow such news.  
  
Kaworu takes it well, And Shinji? His voice appears calm, smooth, and under control.  
  
He's staying here. They're gonna let him out of this place, make him go home. I heard Mr. Ikari say it was a bad idea to bring him here anyway. Her voice is soft, yet it cracks now and then with sorrow. Her chocolate eyes are watery and I can tell she's truly upset.  
  
I use all my strength to hold back the tears, I manage.  
  
Soon. Days. The last comes out in hardly a breath as the door opens and the guard sticks his fat head in.  
  
You done yet?! He bellows.  
  
Candice smacks him over the head with the empty trays she's holding, Just a minute. She growls in annoyance. He grumbles a few obscenities, but again shuts the door.  
  
She says hurriedly, I don't know much about Angels, but I know you're not evil like they think. And I know you don't deserve this either, Shinji. I know this is only gonna get worse for you two. I'm from America, Texas in fact. I'm married here, but I got a brother and a sister still there livin' with my momma. If you two can think of a way to get out of here, I can get you to America and you can stay with my family. Her words are so rushed it's hard to even understand. Again, the last is rushed as the guard pokes his head in again.  
  
He all but yells.  
  
She lifts her chin high, Yes, I'm done. Now get outta my way. And seconds later she's gone and the door is closed and Kaworu and I are left in stunned silence.  
  
Minutes pass before I finally turn to him,   
  
His lips twitch into a smile, Texas. It's warm there, ne?  
  
I can't help but smile as we come together, our lips meeting, If we just think of a way out of here, we can both be in Texas with tans. I all but laugh.  
  
He laughs as well, pulling me closer for more intimate contact.  
  


...........................  


  
Our joy has subsided. In the wake of good news, we made love with a different kind of passion. There was no need for escape, no need for comfort. We were simply happy, simply wanting to give and receive more of that happiness.  
  
It didn't last. Candice had said we only had days left. Mere days. She also said we had to think of a way out of here on our own. Only then would she be able to help us.  
  
I know it's late into the night even though we don't have a clock or a window. My body and mind feel tired and Kaworu is drowsy in my arms. I turn to look at him more directly and wait for him to realize it.  
  
He smiles as he finally notices, He whispers, saying my name as if it were his favorite food, savoring it, letting it happen slowly.  
  
As erotic as he can make that one word, I keep my expression serious, Kaworu, what are you capable of?  
  
His expression becomes puzzled and he tilts his head slightly.  
  
I sigh, Is there anything that you can do that can get us out of here? I ask, feeling retched in doing so.  
  
What do you want me to do? He asks after a few moments, and it takes me a moments to realize that he's serious.  
  
I'm a little stunned, B... But you told them that you didn't know what your powers were. I say, remembering back to that awful first day.  
  
I don't.  
  
Then... How can you ask what I want you to do as if you can do anything? My words are a little hectic as I'm confused and unsure of the feeling welling in my stomach.  
  
He smiles, that beautiful wide smile, Remember when they asked you what power you have over me? I nod and he continues, You said we don't control each other, that we're equal. I nod again, remembering all this, and he continues, That was a beautiful thing to say, Shinji. It proves to me that your love is as genuine as I believe it to be, but the truth is, you have quite a bit of power over me.  
  
I don't know how to take this. I'm so confused and scared, What do you mean?  
  
He places a hand to my face, I love you, Shinji. As I explained to your father, I do possess free will, but my love for you is so strong... And since I am an Angel... I am capable of whatever you wish of me. I can only think of pleasing you.  
  
I'm crying now, No. I want you to be happy too. And now I'm sobbing, hugging Kaworu with a bear grip.  
  
He chuckles, And this makes me love you only more. For the moment, however, take advantage of my feelings. He says, pulling back, his voice becoming serious, Use my love, bend my being to your will.  
  
I shake my head, my tears nearly unstoppable.  
  
He takes hold of my face and moves close, Shinji, there will be time for happiness later. We will die in a matter of days if we do not escape. I know now that what I truly want is to live. I want to be with you. I want to live a long life with you here on Earth. I want to experience it all. That will make me happy.  
  
My tears slow and I realize that he's opening up to me, showing me his desires in a new way. I swallow hard and after a moment or two, I nod, But I can't even imagine a way out of here. I whisper, moving close to my love and resting against him.  
  
He places cool hands to my back, Sleep now. It will come to you once your mind has calmed.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
I'm sitting in a little cafe just opposite the horrid, shining building where Shinji and Kaworu are being held. I'm dressed far more professional than I'm used to, but the idea is to blend in, not stand out, which I normally do in my mini-skirts and tank tops.  
  
I sit up as a woman exits the building. She looks exactly like the picture I hold in my hand. Dark skin, rich, brown hair braided down her back. I jump up and hurry to meet up with her. She's taller, but I'm thinner and more athletic. I quickly catch her, Ms. Williams, please, can I speak with you?  
  
She stops so suddenly, I nearly run into her. She makes eye contact and I'm surprised to see that there is sorrow there as well as anger, What do you want? She asks. I notice her accent.  
  
Please, can we go somewhere? I need to speak with you. I say, the urgency obvious in my voice. When she simply stares at me suspiciously, I add, It's about Shinji and Kaworu.  
  
Her eyes light up and she quickly nods. I'm a bit shocked by her sudden compliance but let it go as she motions for me to follow her.  
  
Three blocks later, I'm sitting in another cafe. This time with Ms. Williams across from me. It was yesterday that Kaji had discovered the woman's occupation. The plan was to talk her into helping us, though, we still weren't sure what she'd be able to do.  
  
Now, what is it you know about the Angel and Shinji? She asks suddenly, her voice just low enough to not attract attention.  
  
Well, I'm Shinji's guardian-  
  
Her eyes light up and she reaches out to pat my hand, Really? That's wonderful. Perhaps you can help! We only have two more days.  
  
I'm totally taken aback, Two more days?  
  
Her smile transforms into a from, You don't know? They're gonna be taking Kaworu off to Germany the day after tomorrow.  
  
I shake my head, No, I knew... It's just... So soon. I thought we had more time.  
  
For what?  
  
I sigh, My boyfriend and I have been racking our brains for a way to stop this. If Kaworu's taken to Germany, it could result in third impact.  
  
Again, her eyes go wide, and she gasps,   
  
I nod, Yeah. If only there were some way to get them out of there. I sigh again, What am I thinking, even if that's possible, there's no where we can hide them that no one would think to look.  
  
That's were you're wrong miss. I have family in the United States willing to take the boys in. All I told them was they were good kids in trouble and they needed a place to stay, maybe even live.  
  
My spirits lift, America? That's great. Surely there are places they could hide out there. Oh, Ms. Williams, this is wonderful news! Oh, but... I hope it's not too much trouble for your family.  
  
She lifts a hand and shakes her head, a smile on her face, Call me Candice. And no need to worry, my family is only eager to have a couple of boys to help with things.  
  
I nod, glad to hear this. Then I think of something, But, how do you plan on getting them out?  
  
Her gaze drops to the table top, I can't. There's no way I can without Mr. Ikari finding out. He'd have me executed for sure. I told the boys that if they can get out, I can get them to America, but I'm not even sure I can do that.  
  
Don't worry. I'll help. I can get them there, but... Have they said anything? Do they know of a way to get out? I ask, hope plain on my face.  
  
She looks up, shakes her head, and shrugs, Not too sure. I served them dinner just a moment ago. I asked them, but... I don't know. Shinji seems really down, but the Angel says just not to worry, that they'll get out. They haven't told me how yet though.  
  
I think for a moment. If Kaworu says they'll get out, they'll get out, but I can't help but wonder how. I look up at Candice, Where in America is your family located?  
  
South Texas. Out in the country on the outskirts of a small town called Goliad.  
  
I nod, Right. So, what's the closest city? I'm going to by tickets.  
  
She thinks for a moment, her eyes flicking back and forth, Um... Houston I guess. It's been so long. I'm pretty sure there's only one international airport.  
  
Good, good. Contact your family from a pay phone and let them know where to pick them up. You're going to be serving the boys tomorrow evening?  
  
She nods, and I continue, Tell them to escape during the night and meet me at the Tokyo 3 International Airport in the Shin Section, okay?  
  
I can see that she's a little rattled, trying to remember all these things she must do. I reach across the table and pat her hand in much the same way she had done mine only minutes ago, Don't worry. This is going to work.  
  
She looks up and visibly calms, a smile pulling at her lips as she nods.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
The night is long and neither of us get much sleep. Shinji is completely stressed out. He insists that he doesn't want to control me like that, use my feelings like that. It only makes my love for him stronger.  
  
I touch the bruise on his eye. It's darker, and it's beauty enchants me for reasons I can't explain.  
  
He moves away from me and I frown for a moment until I realize he has to use the toilet. I simply watch as he takes a seat. He's embarrassed and looks anywhere except at me, but he doesn't ask me to look away like he did in the beginning.  
  
He returns to the bed once he's finished and sits near me, looking down at me with interest. I think perhaps that he's admiring my looks. I smile and run a hand over his stomach.  
  
He leans closer, our noses near touching, Your eyes are red like the sun when it's being born... Or maybe when it's dying.  
  
My lips pull into a grin and I let my hand drop down to his groin. Constantly he is comparing my eyes to things. Red images that come to him when looking at me. I like the thought. Most often it's cherries. His eyes have the same effect on me, although, always it's something like water. His eyes remind me most of the deepest ocean or perhaps the purest waterfall.  
  
He looks away suddenly, taking my hand from his lap, Can you tell where our room is in this building?  
  
I sit up, High. Very high.  
  
He shakes his head, No. I mean, are any of these walls outer walls?  
  
I rise and move to the center of the room. I really don't know. I close my eyes and try to concentrate. I feel his will pushing in on my being. My expression becomes strained as I walk along the walls, feeling my way.  
  
I stop, Opening my eyes, I find it's the wall the bed is against, It's thick, but this is an outer wall. I look to Shinji to find his eyes are watered. I move to sit beside him, Have you thought of something? I ask quietly.  
  
He nods, but says nothing. I know this is hard on him, but it has to be done.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
Breakfast and lunch come and go, but I barely eat. Just like Kaworu asked, I pushed my will onto him, and he was able to do what I asked because his love for me is so strong. It's the worst feeling I've ever experienced. I can imagine comparing it to physically beating him into doing something I want. It's horrible, but it has to be done in order for us to have a future.  
  
I hold him now, hugging him close, touching him tenderly as if in apology. It hurts me so much to hurt him.  
  
Noise outside the door informs us dinner is on it's way, as well as Candice. Sure enough, the door opens and the dark woman steps inside. The guard has grown accustomed to her shutting the door behind her, and when she does so this time, he doesn't say a word.  
  
You have to get out tonight. She whispers, instantly gaining our attention, You have to meet a woman at the Tokyo 3 International Airport tonight. She'll give you tickets and in no time you'll be on your way. By the time she's finished, she's grinning.  
  
I whisper, watching as she clumsily puts our trays down.  
  
She looks to me once she's gathered the old ones, Can you do it? She's trying to hurry to avoid suspicion, her hand on the door.  
  
I quickly nod and she all but shines as she leaves, Good luck. And with that we're alone.  
  
I look to Kaworu,   
  
He smiles, Hai, I can't wait.  
  


...........................  


  
We hug and kiss and hold hands and Kaworu whispers sweet things as I cry. Hours pass and surely it's dark out.  
  
I stretch my arms forward before Kaworu and close my eyes. I can feel the emotion flowing between us. I take hold of it with my mind and pull, pull it hard. It's almost as if I can sense his psyche jumping to attention. And then I press, and I press hard, forcing my will on him, The camera, loop an image of us sleeping.  
  
His voice is calm and I know he's not smiling.  
  
Break these off. I whisper. Though my eyes are closed, I sense that he's nodded, and seconds later, I feel his hands on me, ripping my bindings away as if they're nothing.  
  
I let my arms drop to my sides as I open my eyes. He's kneeling down, tearing away the restraints at my ankles. He's about to rise, as if finished with the task, then I add, Yours too.  
  
He doesn't even look up and I'm surprised at how easy this is becoming. Once his restraints are gone as well, he rises and stands before me. I let the connection break as happiness wells in me. I jump forward and hug him properly, something I haven't been able to do in weeks.  
  
He holds me for only a moment before he begins to pull away, Shinji... Shinji, we're not through. His eyes are stern and serious and red like pain.  
  
I swallow and nod, closing my eyes again, I find the connection easily enough and enforce it with the will of my love for him, The wall. I whisper, picturing the wall with our bed against it. In my mind I see it being destroyed. I see Kaworu outstretch his arm and hold his palm out before said wall, and it's awesome... The power he has is just awesome. With a surge of his mind, a surge of will and power fueled with his love for me, the wall crumbles away. The sound of it isn't nearly what I'd thought it'd be, and I hope the guards didn't hear.  
  
My hope is pointless though. As I open my eyes to see the huge hole in the thick, massive wall, I hear the sounds of voices and keys and feet. I quickly turn to Kaworu, my eyes wide, Let's go.  
  
His eyes almost look bored, but there's no time for me to worry over it now. We've got to get out of here. I hurry to the edge and peer out. A swift wind whips passed and pulls at me, bends me out, gravity's fingers pulling at my weight. My eyes nearly pop from their sockets, it must be eight stories. Just as I feel my balance is shot, that in my haste, I'm surely going to eat it, I feel Kaworu's arms about my waist. Our bodies come together hard and we hang on tight.  
  
I gasp as we hover out and the power of Kaworu's spirit holds us in mid-air. I hear the shouts of the guards behind us, but I ignore it, I don't look back. And then we're floating downward. In just seconds our bare feet are touching down on warm pavement. I don't hesitate. I grab Kaworu's hand and run, and run hard. We're already in the Shin Section of the city, and I know exactly where the airport is. I've gone many times to see Misato off for her job. I turn a corner and Kaworu keeps up, our hands still joined, gripping hard.  
  
We've already run four blocks and I know it's at least eight more. My breath is coming hard and my chest aches. Thunder cracks over head and I stop, doubling over and puking my guts out.  
  
Kaworu rubs my back, You okay?  
  
I gasp and choke, Yeah, yeah... I cough it off and glance at my lover. He's breathing a little hard, but I can tell he has more energy in him, far more than I do.  
  
The thunder cracks again and I look up as if expecting to be able to see it rolling across the sky above. Of course, all I can see is darkness. I take a deep breath and grab Kaworu's hand again and run.   
  
Two blocks later we come out on a wide, busy street. I search for a taxi, my eyes peering out into the darkness. I spot one and leap forward, screaming. The car screeches to a halt and Kaworu and I quickly climb in.  
  
Where to? The driver asks, not even bothering to look back.  
  
The... Uh, that pancake restaurant over there on Fifth. I'm stuttering and my voice is rushed, but the driver simply grunts and switches on the meter. As the car lurches forward, rain comes down and pounds against the beat up vehicle, surrounding us with it's thrumming. It's almost soothing.  
  
In a matter of minutes we're there. I open the door and practically push Kaworu out. We start toward the restaurant and the driver sticks his head out the window, Hey, punks! Plan on paying?  
  
I don't answer, simply grabbing Kaworu's hand again and rushing around behind the restaurant. I'd been to the place a number of times, though I can't remember it's name. This is the place I'd eat breakfast with Misato before seeing her off. The airport's no more than a block away.  
  
We hide behind a dumpster until we hear the taxi peeling out and speeding off. When I'm sure it's safe, I look to Kaworu and nod. He looks so calm and cool and in control. I'm really not sure I understand it, but that's beside the point. We're almost there, and there's no stopping until we're well on our way to America.  
  
We're running again, this time along the highway. A couple of cars slow, taking in our appearance and situation, but none offer us a ride, and I'm glad for it. We don't need people looking hard and recognizing us. I'm sure we look insane as it is, two young boys running beside one of the busiest high-speed roads, in the pouring rain no less.  
  
I'm panting as we reach the front of the immense building. There are people everywhere, coming and going. I stop for a moment and catch my breath. Kaworu recovers far quicker than I do.   
  
I pull at my shirt and wring out as much water as possible, Kaworu does the same. Still, we're wet, and the white, flimsy material is basically transparent.  
  
As we enter and follow signs, many glance our way, taking in our appearance. A couple of young girls even smile and giggle as we walk passed. Finally, I spot a sign that reads: To America. I motion to Kaworu and he follows me as we jog down the corridor.  
  
We stop and read another sign. A long list of specific locations in America as well as times. They're all cities though and I recognize nothing. I look around and search with my eyes. A woman, a woman, a woman...  
  
The place is crowded and there are women everywhere. I can hardly go about asking each of them... Tears spring to my eyes as I move into a slightly secluded corner, plopping down to the floor, pulling my knees up against my chest. Kaworu watches me for a moment before coming over and sitting beside me.  
  
He reaches out and takes my hand, gaining my attention, It's not finished yet. He whispers, and I feel a surge of cold electricity. The connection still holds strong. I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes, unsure of what exactly I'm supposed to do.  
  
It comes to me though, instantly. My stomach churns with heat and an image of my father blinks in my mind. I know what I have to do now. Tears flood from my closed eyes as I grip Kaworu's hand and begin the pressing... Pressing my will in on his mind and emotions... I choke out a sob, struggling to keep my eyes held shut as I press harder. He grunts and I can feel the energy pouring from him like some kind of freezing river of jolting electricity...  
  


...........................  


  
Gendo Ikari:  
  
I rush into the building and walk briskly to the elevator, straightening my tie on the ride up. As the doors open on the laboratory, I find that everything is indeed in pandemonium, just as I was informed by the phone call I received in the middle of the night not one hour ago.  
  
Several doctors approach me, spouting information. They escaped during the night no more than three hours ago. The camera doesn't show anything. In fact, it's still showing live feed of the two sleeping in bed. However, the guards heard a loud noise from the Angel's cell and hurried in to see what had happened.  
  
And this is what they found. A young man says as he pushes the door open and allows me to enter the cell first. The damage seems impossible considering the tests we ran. I glance to my right to find an older woman questioning what appears to be a guard. I stride over, Were you here when this happened? I ask gruffly. The guard jumps to his feet and quickly answers with a jumble of yes sirs.  
  
What did you see?  
  
The man glances at the hole, We came in and the hole was like that already. The boy was leaning out, and he started to fall. The Angel grabbed him and then they were just out there in the air, not falling, just like they were standing on the air. He glances nervously at me and I nod, encouraging him to continue, They started going down and we all hurried over thinking they were going to fall or something. When we looked down though, they were just standing there, like they landed or something. Then, the boy grabbed the Angel's hand and they started running. We yelled after them, but it was too late.  
  
I didn't hear the last bit and ask him to repeat himself. He looks at me oddly, but does so anyway, fearing my wrath. Still, I can't hear him properly, and I realize that all the sounds in the room are muted, dulled.   
  
And then it hits me, a pain spears it's way deep into my side. I gasp and step forward, clutching the wall in an attempt to keep from seeking to the floor. The doctors and scientists are looking at me strangely, and somewhere in the back of my mind I'm conscious of telling them that I'm find, to stand back.  
  
I clutch my side and feel for a wound. Nothing. I pull my hand back and find it clean, no blood, no nothing. Then it's as if the spear is pushed deeper, turned somewhat. I gasp again and close my eyes. As soon as I do, images flood my mind. I see Shinji and Kaworu at the airport. I try to speak, to call out this information I know to be reality, but my voice doesn't work, nothing seems to.  
  
The image rushes forward and it's as if I can see into my son's mind. I find hate and sorrow and depression. The bulk of which is directed at me, a cause from something I've done. I feel all that hurt filling the whole of my being, and oh how it aches. My heart is pounding wildly against the walls of my chest, threatening to self-terminate. My knees wobble and I reposition my legs, struggling to make my way to a chair or something, but I can't see so well. I let go of the wall and try to make my way to the exit. I feel a coldness wash over me, two freezing hands pulsing with power, and they jerk.  
  
I hear screams and shouts and the next thing I know, I'm plummeting out the hole in the wall. On my way down, I see in my mind Shinji. He opens his eyes, eyes like my own, and simply stares at me. I watch as the pain melts at the edges, and something new and different and unknown to me, comes in, encircling it... Comforting, providing safety, acceptance... It's love. The Angel's love.  
  
And then my head smashes into the pavement and I am no more.  


  
...........................  
  


To be continued...


	18. Arrival

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Here we go... There's only one more chapter to go!!!! I hope you guys are enjoying! ^_^ Please, don't forget to review! My goal is to get 100! ^_^ Again, I have to apologize... I haven't proof read this yet and there may be more spelling and grammar errors than normal. Please try to overlook them.  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XVIII: Arrival  
...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
I flush the toilet and exit the stall. I wash my hands and wonder where on Earth they could be. I glance at my watch as I exit the public restroom. They should be here by now. In just a couple more hours it'll be morning. The more time that passes, the more risk of Gendo Ikari and his goons showing up, figuring things out.  
  
Candice and her husband moved out of Tokyo 3 on my instructions. The woman was only too grateful just to be able to help. Her memory brings a smile to my face.  
  
Hey, you okay? I glance over to find Kaji beside me, Asuka there with him along with the rest of Shinji's little friends. I force my smile further.  
  
I'm fine. Just worried, you know? I fake laugh and scan the crowd. There are so many people, and the crowd seems to be simply building as the minutes pass. Even if they are here, what are the chances I'll see them?  
  
Maybe they didn't get out? Kensuke mumbles, his hands in his pockets.  
  
Toji, Hikari, and Asuka, together in unison, berate him, Don't think so negative!  
  
And this time I laugh for real, Kaji too. The moment passes all too quickly and I sigh, Come on, let's find a place to sit down. We make our way to the isles of chairs and peer out for a group of empty ones.  
  
Hey! Over there! Kaji suddenly calls out. All our heads snap up and turn in the direction he's gesturing. There, in the corner, beneath a group of pay phones, Shinji and Kaworu are huddled. They look simply pitiful. Their clothes are wet and transparent, and they're both barefoot. I can see those horrible cuts on Shinji's body as well as a long cut across Kaworu's back. Shinji's literally sobbing, clutching the Angel as if he were the only thing in the word. His mouth is open wide and his cries are on the loud side, gaining the attention of quite a few passers. Kaworu appears calm, yet I detect a sadness in his posture.  
  
We approach slowly and carefully. Shinji's face is marred by one of the biggest, darkest black eyes I've ever seen. I crouch down near them and reach out, Shinji? It's M-  
  
The Angel interrupts me, Don't touch him! He insists, pulling Shinji out of my reach. Shinji chokes and coughs, a sputter of saliva stringing down from his lips.  
  
I here someone behind me gasp, but I'm not sure who it was, one of the teenagers probably.  
  
I look to Kaworu, What happened?  
  
His eyes are cold, He killed his father.  
  
My eyes go wide, During the escape? I feel Kaji by my side now, listening in.  
  
Kaworu shakes his head, Just now.  
  
Kaji asks. I glance over to see interest, concern, and determination written across his features.  
  
Kaworu glances down now, petting Shinji's messed hair, He used me. It's a whisper but clear as a bell.  
  
Kami, poor Shinji! I shake my head, We don't have time for this. I say, my voice stronger now.  
  
Kaworu nods and Kaji and I step back, waiting with the teenagers. We watch as Kaworu lifts Shinji's head and forces there eyes to meet. He speaks softly, but we're close enough to hear, Shinji, we have to go. It's over now. We just have to leave.  
  
Shinji's tears slow only slightly. He swallows, chokes and gags and then swallows again. At least he's stopped sobbing. Still, the tears are still free flowing. Kaworu smiles now, Hai, you're eyes are like waterfalls.  
  
And surprisingly, the Angel's comment causes Shinji to chuckle, And yours like cherries. He whispers in return.  
  
Kaji lifts the bag from his shoulders and drops it near their feet, You two need to get changed. Use the restrooms there. We'll wait here for you. Hurry.  
  
The boys nod and it seems to be an effort for them to pull themselves up to stand. Shinji nearly topples and Kaworu wraps and arm around his waist. Seconds later they're hurrying off and we're left alone to wait.  
  
I can't believe all this. Toji says, his eyes wide much like the other's, Did you see all those cuts and that shiner? No one answers his question, instead we look down or away.  
  
What did he mean when he said Shinji used him? Hikari asks, looking to me.  
  
I sigh, I'm not sure. Angels are very powerful... Shinji must have somehow used Kaworu to... To do it from here. I shrug, really not wanting to talk about all this.  
  
Why's he so upset then? I mean, Shinji's always hated his dad. Asuka says, baffled and angry.  
  
I sigh again, That's just it, he doesn't hate him.  
  
Asuka makes and aggravated sound and rolls her eyes, Then why kill him?  
  
Kaji glares at her, Keep your voice down. He scolds.  
  
She simply returns the glare and then turns back to me, still waiting for an answer.  
  
I guess because he knew that Gendo Ikari would never stop looking for them. Ever. I say after thinking for a moment. The realization obviously seeps into her, her expression going slack. Surely, she can only image the pain in killing one's own parent. After all, no matter how cruel Ikari was, Shinji always strived to please him. Hell, the boy was desperate for even a glance from his father, and tonight, he'd used his lover's hands to kill him. The poor boy.  
  
Here he comes. Toji says, nodding towards the restrooms. Sure enough, Shinji and Kaworu were changed and making their way through the crowd. The jeans we provided are loose on them, obviously barely being held up but their hips. Their T-shirts droop from their bony shoulders and I just now realize how thin they've become. I thought they'd been eating well?  
  
Kaworu hands the bag back to Kaji and I notice his little finger's been broken. Not to mention, there seems to be all kinds of damage to both their wrists. I glance down to see their ankles in much the same shape. Restraints.  
  
Then, it dawns on me. They're still barefoot, Toji, Kensuke... How about giving them your sneakers? I suggest. The boys look down at their feet and then at the battered looking feet of Shinji and Kaworu. They quickly comply and begin pulling off their socks and shoes.  
  
While they're putting said shoes on, I explain, I bought tickets to cities all over the world. Quite a few in the US. I'm going to have Toji and Kensuke go through with all of them and then come back out instead of getting on the plane. That way there are witnesses all over this place confirming that two boys got on all the planes to all these cities. Okay? It's hardly likely they'll be able to trace you down. But... Once you get to Ms. Williams' families' house, send word to this address. Don't write anything but your address, okay? I hand Shinji a slip of paper with a P.O. box address on it. He looks at it and then nods to me.  
  
That way, if Kaji or I hear anything, we can send word. I say, and he nods again.  
  
All passengers for flight 218 to Houston, Texas, boarding will begin in ten minutes. Announces a woman from the speakers above, and I quickly get all the tickets out. I sort through them and find the two I'm searching for, handing them over along with two passports.  
  
That's you, kiddos. Kaji says, grinning.  
  
W... Wait, how are we supposed to find Candice's family? Where do they live? Shinji asks, his eyes wide, his face screaming with fear and desperation.  
  
I smile, Don't worry. They're going to be there waiting for you.  
  
He sighs and I can see that he's utterly exhausted, Okay, right.  
  
Kaworu apparently sees what I see, Hey, no worries from here on out. He says, taking hold of Shinji's chin and turning his head until their eyes meet. A moment passes between them and then they both smile.  
  
Shinji nods, And then he turns to all of us, I'm going to miss you guys. He hugs Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari, bidding them each farewell, letting them know he'll never forget. He then leans in and kisses Asuka on the cheek, No hard feelings.  
  
She laughs out and wipes at a few stray tears, You better get out of here.  
  
He smiles and kisses her other cheek, promising he'll never forget her beauty and she blushes. As he steps before me, I all but crumble, reaching out and hugging him with all I've got.  
  
Misato, I've got to breathe. He coughs and I ease up.  
  
Sorry, sorry... I'm really going to miss you though. I love you, Shinji... I've always thought of you and Asuka as my kids. I say, pulling him in for another hug as my eyes water.  
  
He smiles, Yeah, I'll always see you as the one who raised me. You're like my mom, Misato.  
  
I'm outright crying now and I sneak one more hug before he moves on to Kaji, Thanks, Kaji. You were always there with good advice.  
  
Kaji smirks, reaching forward and smacking Shinji on the shoulder, See ya round, kid.  
  
Shinji turns then to Kaworu and takes his hand, as the woman over the loudspeaker announces that boarding has begun, Well, I guess we better go then.  
  
Kaworu nods and looks to us, I bid you all farewell. He bows respectfully, flashing that dazzling, wide smile before he and Shinji turn and begin walking away.  
  
Asuka and Hikari are crying now and I notice Kensuke's wiping at his eyes, glasses in hand. I turn to Kaji, he and Toji are both smiling.  
  
I'm really going to miss him, you know? Asuka manages, watching as Shinji and Kaworu hand the woman at the gate their tickets.  
  
We all are. I whisper as they disappear from view.  
  


...........................  


  
Kaworu:  
  
The flight from Tokyo 3, Japan to Houston, Texas is 10,731 km or so I hear the captain announce. Shinji and I are only too grateful. We manage to seat together. Myself by the window, Shinji beside me, an empty seat, and then the isle. What little privacy we manage we're also grateful for.  
  
Hours into hour flight, and hours to go, we sit waiting for the flight attendant to come around and take our empty trays, I miss them already. Shinji whispers. It's the first thing he's said yet and I know it's not what he's been thinking about.  
  
Don't worry. They'll be fine. I say, turning in my seat.  
  
He nods, I know... I just, I keep seeing him in my mind. His voice breaks and he gazes down at his hands.  
  
I smile, knowing that he's talking about his father. This is what's troubling him. I too saw the image in my mind. The man's broken, bleeding body sprawled out on the ground, limbs in awkward positions, his head smashed and cracked against the pavement.  
  
The stewardess approaches and is about to offer us drinks until she looks at us and realizes we're in the middle of a serious conversation. She smiles nervously, Let me just get those out of your way.   
  
Once she's gone with our trays, I lift our tables and secure them onto the seats in front of us. I then lift the arm rest from between us and lean forward, wrapping my arms around my lover, pulling him close.  
  
Only, Shinji doesn't weep, I... I don't have tears for him. He whispers, as if he heard my thought.  
  
I kiss him on the forehead, It was him or us. He was an evil man with evil intentions.  
  
He nods against me, resting his head on my chest, I'm sorry, Kaworu. I'm so, so sorry.  
  
My eyebrows draw together, but he goes on before I can ask, I'm sorry for controlling you like that. I know it was the only way, but... He trails off and I lean down to kiss him again, this time on the top of his head.  
  
There's no need for you to apologize, but if it makes you feel better... I forgive you. I whisper, kissing his oily hair again.  
  
You had such a strange look on your face... Like that day when you took Asuka's Eva, before you told me to kill you...  
  
My smile fades, I admit, it's a horrid feeling, being controlled... As well as allowing you to live, I wanted you to kill me back then in order to end the feeling I had within me... This force controlling me, pushing me to destroy the Lilim, even though I'd fallen in love with one.  
  
I take Shinji's hand in mine and intertwine our fingers, Your control only reminded me of that feeling, it wasn't nearly so horrible or painful. In fact, my love's so strong, I wanted to do all those things for you.  
  
Shinji slips his other hand under the hem of my shirt, rubbing soothingly from one hip to the other, finally resting on my stomach. He looks up at me, I'll never do it again. He whispers, leaning up and planting a chaste kiss on my lips before slouching back down against me.  
  
I smile, relaxing with him in my arms, knowing he means what he says and glad for it, I love you.  
  
He sighs, I love you too. He says sleepily. I look up to see a large man across the isle staring at us along with his large wife. Their eyes go wide and they quickly look away. My smile never fades and I turn to looking out the window. Clouds rush by at an alarming rate and I close my eyes and imagine that I'm flying like a bird with Shinji in my arms. Minutes later I'm dozing off, my lover already unconscious against me.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
The hours we spend on the plane are just wonderful. As I rest against my lover, I overhear other passengers complaining about the long flight and the uncomfortable seating. If only they knew how luxurious this is for Kaworu and I.  
  
The long rest eventually comes to an end though as the plane begins circling an airport below. Kaworu and I peer out the window at the city below, hardly impressed by the buildings and smog we've seen before, just somewhere else.  
  
Just as I feel the beginnings of air sickness, we land. The plane jumps and jerks as it touches down, and it touches me when Kaworu reaches an arm out to keep me from bopping into the seat in front of me.  
  
We squeeze passed the other passengers instead of waiting for them to gather their overhead bags and get out of the way, therefore we're some of the first people off the plane. We walk endlessly down corridors and hallways, finally coming to a long line where many others are waiting. Eventually, it's our turn and a man gesutres us to step forward.  
  
He says something, but I have no idea what. I glance around confused, never having considered that it'd be a problem that I can't speak English. The man repeats himself and I look to Kaworu, completely unsure of what we're going to do.  
  
Then, he shocks me. My Angel opens his mouth and begins speaking, in English! Just like that. I never even knew he could. Kaworu turns to me, He wants to see our passports.  
  
I say, quickly grabbing the tickets from my back pocket and flipping through the papers and envelopes to find the two passports Misato had given us. I quickly hand them over to the now annoyed-looking man. He then asks Kaworu a number of questions.  
  
Ten minutes later, the man finally satisfied, our passports are returned and we're heading down yet another corridor, What'd he say? I ask.  
  
Why we're here, if we're tourists, business or pleasure, accept any packages from strangers, and all kinds of other stuff. I had to explain that you couldn't speak English and then he asked me all the same questions again, and I had to answer for you.  
  
I laugh, I didn't even know you could speak English.  
  
He glances over, smiling, I can speak many languages.  
  
I smile in return and reatch out, taking hold of his hand. We come an opening finally, the airport spread out before us with people everywhere. It's easy to spot a young man and woman standing together. Not only because of their resemblance to one another and to Candice, but because of the sign they hold, reading: Shinji.  
  
We approach them and they smile after an awkward moment. It seems we're not exactly what they were expecting. Though Kaworu is tall, taller than myself, we're both short in comparison to them. And we're both so thin and battered. Not to mention Kaworu's pale skin and red eyes.  
  
Kowaru bows and I quickly do the same while Kaworu greets them in English. They look at us oddly at first, unsure what to make of our behavior, but once Kaworu speaks, they laugh and begin asking all sorts of questions.  
  
We all walk to the exit and Kaworu and I stop in our tracks once the air hits us. It's warm... No, it's hot. It's wonderfully hot. We smile big and our hands tighten their grip on one another in a show of happiness. We then laugh and hurry to catch up.  
  
The man get's in behind the wheel of a huge truck and the woman opens the passenger door for Kaworu and I to climb in. Once on our way, I ask Kaworu, What are their names?  
  
He speaks to them for a moment and then turns back to me, Ray and Tureka Williams, Candice's younger brother and sister. I then listen as he tells them our names, helping them pronounce them properly.  
  
Tureka leans forward, I smile and nod even though she isn't quite saying it right. She in turn, smiles big and sits back, pleased with herself.  
  
They're taking us to a town called Goliad. Kaworu explains to me, acting as a translater during the whole trip, We're going to be staying with their mother in her house. They live on either side in their own houses and families. They support their mother, but she still keeps cows and chickens. They say they're happy to have us just for help with the animals and keeping their mother company.  
  
Three hours of driving and we finally arrive in the little town. The buildings on the square are old and rather beautiful, surrounding a lovely courthouse. We drive through a lovely section of big wood houses and fancy fences, and just a block down we're driving by poor shacks and littered yards. The William's place is on the outskirts of the town. Two new, humble brick houses serve as the homes for Ray and Tureka. And in the middle, a large, beautiful one story, stone house rests, surrounded by massive oaks and lush grass.  
  
As we hop out of the truck, a short, old woman comes out. Her face is wrinkled with the lines of her life and her eyes are the lightest brown I've ever seen. By them alone I can see that this is a kind woman. Her hair is a dark, even gray, pulled back tight in a bun on her head.  
  
She comes right up to us and hugs us both, speaking all the time. Kaworu's smiling and I can just imagine all the kindness she's offering. Though she can't understand me, I thank her from the bottom of my heart. She reaches forward and pats my cheek before turning and heading back towards the house.  
  
I look to Kaworu, confused. He smiles, She wants us to follow her inside. She says we need to eat.  
  
I laugh and we all go inside. A modest little table sits in the center of the kitchen. Two extra chairs that don't match have been added and I smile. We all take our seats and I stare at all the strange food, and then the silverware. I'm really not that hungry, but the woman fills my plate full and I comply and eat.  
  
Kaworu turns to me when he's finished eating, She says we need to eat more. He laughs and so do I, She is intent on putting some meat on our bones.'  
  
I too am finished and ask, What do we call her?  
  
Kaworu asks and then turns to me again, She says her names is Clara, but for us to call her Momma.  
  
I smile to Momma and nod, feeling a pull on my heart. I miss Misato. I take a deep breath and reach out to take Kaworu's hand under the table. He squeezes my hand and continues his conversation with the others. He doesn't show discomfort, but I know it's hard for him to answer so many questions in the wake of so much. I squeeze his hand in return.  
  
Little more than an hour later, Ray and Tureka bid us good night and retire to their own homes. Kaworu and I help Momma clean up and put away the dishes. She thanks us and then shows us to our room. We follow her down a crowded little hallway past the bathroom. At the end of the hall she opens a battered door and gestures us in. The room is small yet spotless. I can tell it's old and has yet to be redone like most of the rest of the house. The floor is smooth yet battered wood planks. There's a large window against one wall along with a twin size bed. Against another wall is a large waist high dresser taking up the whole length of the wall. Attached to it is a huge mirror with a carved wood frame. There's a little table with a lamp, totally three lamps in the room. Other than that the room is basically empty.  
  
As she's speaking, Kaworu suddenly turns to me, She says this is the only spare room she has, that one of us will have to sleep on the couch in the living room.  
  
My eyes go wide and I turn to the woman, No, we can share! We're together! I say quickly, blushing instantly after, realizing she doesn't understand a word.  
  
She too is surprised and turns to Kaworu for an explanation, which he politely gives. Momma turns to me and smiles, reaching forward and patting my cheek again. Then she's turning and leaving, shutting the door behind her.  
  
Once alone, I slap my hands over my face,   
  
Kaworu takes hold of my wrists and lowers my hands, Don't worry. She understands. She said, It's beautiful to see young people in love.'  
  
I look up and smile at my lover, You're going to have to teach me English.  
  
Kaworu chuckles as he begins pulling at my shirt, If you like.  
  
I nod as he pulls my shirt up over my head, Of course. I can't live here and not understand a word anyone says to me. Unless, you like being a translator.  
  
He places his hands against my bare chest and leans close, I'll be your teacher then.  
  
I shiver and find myself pulling at his shirt, She'll hear us. I whisper.  
  
He smiles and kisses my lips chastely before replying, Her bedroom is on the other end of the house, and she has a hearing problem.  
  
I chuckle and Kaworu helps me to removes his shirt, his fingers going to my jeans closure once it's discarded on the floor. Seconds later we're both naked and laughing as we climb into bed, playfully pushing and shoving.  
  
And then Kaworu's lips are on mine again, his tongue teasing mine. His hands linger on my waist as he gently pushes me down while he leans over me, taking his time and really looking me over. He pinches my hair and pulls it down, tugging it down before my eyes, You're hair's getting long.  
  
I laugh and pull at his hair, much longer than mine, You're one to talk.  
  
He goes serious then, leaning down so that his chest rests against mine, both his hands in my hair, I like it like this. He whispers, pressing his lips to mine again, biting at my lower lip.  
  
Our love making is playful and fun and we do it more than once, being careful since we still don't have any lubrication. I'm getting pretty good at sex without it, though I'd love some right now. The air is thick and hot and our bodies sweaty as we move against one another, whispering sweet things with hushed voices.  
  
As we lie beside one another, breathing deeply, my body snugly against his, I whisper, I want to live like this forever.  
  
He smiles, Hai, this life is good.  


  
...........................  
  


To be continued...  
  
Please review! My goal is 100 reviews, and I'm nearly there! ^_^


	19. Glorious Heat

...........................  
Cherry Waterfall  
...........................  
  
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic  
  
By: Hatti Lee*  
Also known as:  
Saiyajin Peach  
Saiyajin Peach 18  
Amalthea*  
Beloved Animosity  
  
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net  
  
Started: 10.2.3  
Finished: 2.9.4  


  
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu  
  
Author's Notes: Well... Here's the FINAL chapter! Enjoy!! ^_^  
  
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!  
  


...........................  
Chapter XIX: Glorious Heat  
...........................  


  
Kaji:  
  
I slide the key into place and turn, hoping. The little metal door swings open and my eyes go wide. I quickly pull the postcard out and turn it over and over in my hands, grinning.  
  


...........................  


  
Katsuragi comes to the door still wearing the clothes I last saw her in, Kaji, you just left... What are you do- She stops mid-sentence as I lift the postcard, all smiles.  
  
She grins and grabs it out of my hands, turning and hurrying inside calling Asuka. The three of us stand in the kitchen looking down at the glossy picture of a large, white, gothic-style building. Beneath it reads: Goliad Courthouse, Texas.  
  
Katsuragi turns it over and reads out the address scrawled in what's obviously Shinji's handwriting. Little hearts and happy faces are drawn all over it, and at the bottom something is written in English, clear and blocky.  
  
What's that say? Asuka asks, pointing to the sentence apparently written by Kaworu.  
  
I smile, It says, Love, like heat and life, is good.' Both Katsuragi and Asuka look up at me.  
  
I didn't know you could read English. My violet-haired beauty says.  
  
I wink at her, There are a lot of things you don't know about me. I say, leaning in for a kiss.  
  
Yuck! You guys are grossing me out. Asuka complains, turning and heading for her room, mumbling something about old people.  
  
I pull back and release Katsuragi from my arms, It's good to finally get word. I say.  
  
She nods and goes around the table to the kitchen, grabbing some matches from a drawer, I know. I'm glad they're doing well. Maybe one day we can write to them without worry.  
  
Maybe. Just give it time. I say, watching as she burns the postcard over the sink. The government searched fiercely for the boys during the first two weeks, but now things have cooled slightly. Information is being covered and swept away, but the danger isn't over. Others, like myself, are out there, listening and watching for anything to come up. Good thing there aren't many as good as myself. I smirk at the thought. I'm guessing all will be given up in eight months or so.  
  
Katsuragi curses and drops the paper into the sink, washing the ashes down the drain while blowing at her singed fingers, Love, like heat and life, is good. She says after turning off the water, whispering the words to herself. She looks up at me, Kaworu would say something like that.  
  
I smile and nod, letting a few peaceful, quiet moments settle comfortably between us, I guess I should go.  
  
She smiles, a lovely stress-free smile, something she's been missing for weeks, Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.  
  
I nod again and turn to go, I call as I leave the apartment, a lightness in my step. I'm still smiling as I enter the elevator. This happiness is just what Shinji and Kaworu deserve. I truly wish them the best.  
  


...........................  


  
Shinji:  
  
I switch the vacuum off and look around at my handy work as Momma steps into the room, Good job, Shinji. I say your officially finished. I don't think this house has ever been so clean.  
  
I smile and begin winding up the cord, Have you seen Kaworu? I ask, my English still strongly accented even after a year of speaking it.  
  
I see love in your eyes, honey. She says stepping further into the room, inspecting it's cleanliness as she always does.  
  
I simply blush, busying myself with putting the vacuum away. Finished, I turn to find that Momma's sitting on the couch, patting the seat next her, Come sit here with me.  
  
I nod and do as she asks.  
  
You sure this is the life you boys want? Living with an old lady, cleaning house, and looking after a bunch of animals? You could finish your schoolin' and get a real smart job like Ray and Tureka. She says all this slowly and seriously, her hands holding mine while she looks me dead in the eyes. I'm still getting used to Americans' frankness.  
  
I swallow and nod, blushing, You don't know what kind of life we had before. This is heaven.  
  
She tilts her head and leans a bit closer, Tell me, child, why did you and Karu have to run away?  
  
My mouth twitches at the way she pronounces my lover's name. It's the way most of the people here say it, he doesn't mind. I've been avoiding these questions for months now, but as I glance down at my hands held firmly in Momma's, I find that she has me now. I swallow again, I do owe her an explanation.  
  
You know about the Angels? About the Evangelions? I ask, looking up.  
  
Her eyes narrow in thought and she nods, keeping silent so that I may continue.  
  
I used to be an Eva pilot, and Kaworu is an Angel. He came back to... To be with me, and when the government found out, we were taken prisoner. We were going to be killed or forever separated, but some friends helped us get out. I explain, trying to leave out as much as possible.  
  
Her eyes narrow again, but this time she speaks, He came back? I don't understand this... Where did he go?  
  
I nod and look down, away, anywhere but her eyes, I... Uh... A long time ago, I... I killed him, even though I loved him. It's really complicated. We couldn't coexist then, but now we can- The last is rushed and I stop when I feel her weathered hand on my chin, lifting my gaze to hers. I'm surprised to see her eyes are soft and understanding.  
  
Poor child. Poor Shinji. I know things were bad, but they're good now, and if you want more, it's okay. You can get an education, be whatever you want. There something you always wanted? She asks, becoming excited as if trying to get me excited.  
  
I smile, I've always wanted a quiet, peaceful, boring life. I want that with Kaworu.  
  
She laughs out and leans back, a wide smile on her lips, her cheeks full with her happiness, Well, child, you have that now, and if that's all you want, I'm glad to let you have it.  
  
We sit quiet for a few moments, the mood light, the air warm. She leans forward then, tapping at my legs, Don't know why I can't fatten you boys up though. Thin like sticks, string beans.  
  
I laugh and rise from the couch, turning before leaving the room, my expression going serious, Momma, you won't tell anyone what I told you, will you?  
  
She laughs and rises, walking passed me and into the kitchen, Don't worry, Shinji, a woman knows how to keep a secret.  
  
I stand and watch for a moment as she begins gathering pots and pans and utensils to begin cooking dinner. Lately, she's been teaching me some things, and I surprised her by showing her a few things. Though, I don't think her or her family much likes my dishes. I smile at the memory of them struggling with chopsticks as I make my way to the door.  
  
As I'm heading out to search for Kaworu, Momma calls after me, and I turn, a questioning look on my face, Your boy's out back, already finished feeding.  
  
I smile, On the shed?  
  
She answers through laughter.  
  
I linger not a moment longer, shutting the door and hurrying around back rather than going back through the house to the back door. Momma and her family own some thirty acres of land, all of which is fenced and filled with cows. I leap over the chickens still pecking at their dinner and hurry towards the barn. Sometimes Kaworu and I sit up in the hay and talk for hours, but that's not where he is now. I veer off the trail and head towards the tractor shed.  
  
There's a short, wooden ladder leaning against it, and I climb up standing on the highest step. I reach up and grab the roof firmly, pulling myself up. I swing a leg over and roll onto the roof, finding myself on my back beside Kaworu, whose lying on his stomach. He's propped up on his elbows, looking down at at a sheaf of papers secured in a small binder.  
  
The tin is hot and instantly begins warming my skin through my clothes, I say through a smile, speaking Japanese, What are you doing?  
  
Reading the last letter. He answers without looking up.  
  
I lay back and admire him. He's shirtless and barefoot, and his jeans are loose. His shoulder blades are jutting due to his position and I lean forward to place a chaste kiss there.  
  
He turns and looks at me then, and I laugh. His expression is one I recognize. It's as if he's asking me, You want to make love here? Now?  
  
I just like the way this looks. I say, my smile fading as I reach forward and trace his shoulder blade with my index finger. The sun's setting, but it's still shining bright, and his white skin appears to glow.  
  
He simply looks at me for a moment before returning his gaze to the letter, I'm glad they're all doing so well.  
  
I sidle closer, looking down at the letter, I still can't believe Misato and Kaji are married. Asuka must be going nuts.  
  
Kaworu smiles and flips the binder shut, scooting it out of the way as he turns to lie on his side, facing me, Your hair's really getting long. He says, running his fingers through my locks which now hang passed my ears.  
  
I copy his movements, letting his thick, uneven, silky hair caress my fingers. His hair brushes his shoulders now, and Momma is constantly threatening to cut it in his sleep.  
  
Kaworu's hands move to my shirt, his fingers working swiftly to unbutton it. The thin material falls open and he smooths his hands over my chest, And your skin is golden tan now.  
  
I laugh, Not all my skin.  
  
He moves close, Mmm... But I love your tan lines.  
  
My eyes slip closed, and my smile smooths as deft fingers unbutton and unzip my pants, Momma's cooking. Tureka and her family are coming over for dinner. We... We can't do this now. The last comes out in a breathy moan as his hands begin working me into arousal. It doesn't take much, the mere sight of him quickens my heart.  
  
Minutes later, I'm struggling not to moan as our lips meet again and again, our tongues dancing. And then I'm coming, and he's whispering into my ear, Do you feel the heat up here? The sun and the tin against my skin... It's not nearly as glorious as the heat of your come. His words are breathy, his tongue gracing the shell of my ear.  
  
I throw my arms around him and surprise him as I pull him full into my arms, I love you, my Angel.  
  


...........................  


  
Momma:  
  
My lovely dark chocolate daughter steps into the kitchen and breathes deep, Mmm, it sure smells good in here.  
  
Course it does, Momma's cookin'. I say through a grin, leaning over and pinching my grandchildren's cheeks. They laugh and smile and parrot my words.  
  
I rise and look to my daughter, You doin' those kids good. Their spirits are bright.  
  
She blushes and smiles as she heads into the living room with the children. I can hear her opening the trunk of toys and instructing her babes to behave and keep quiet. Then she's stepping back into the kitchen, It looks real nice in there.  
  
I turn from the pot of beans before me and smile, Shinji cleaned all day.  
  
She nods, taking a seat at the table behind me, Where is he? And Karu?  
  
I turn back and smile to myself this time, Out back.  
  
Tureka laughs, a healthy laugh, In the hay or on the shed?  
  
I laugh as well, Does it matter?  
  
She moves to stand beside me, pretending to take interest in my beans. I let it slide, waiting for her to build up her courage, Momma, you think it's right those boys being together the way they are?  
  
I look at her sharply, And what way is that?  
  
She sighs, leaning against the counter, Lots of people in town been talking. Not many people round here accept that kinda thing. You don't think it's wrong?  
  
My poor girl. At least she's being honest. I look her in the eyes as I answer, Honey, love's _never_ wrong.  
  
She sighs again and nods, I know, I know. Then she smiles, I don't want to know what they do out there in the hay and up on that shed. I'm still getting used to seein' them holding hands and kissing.  
  
I laugh, Me too, me too.  
  
During our laughter, the boys come in. Shinji's face is flushed and Karu's smiling like the devil. My mouth twitches at that thought. An Angel smiling like the devil.  
  


...........................  


  
Misato:  
  
It's been eighteen months since they scraped Gendo Ikari's remains from the pavement. Eighteen months since I saw Shinji and Kaworu huddled together in the busy airport, their minds and souls battered, torn, and weary. Eighteen months since I bid them farewell and sent them on their way.  
  
I sent the first letter about six months ago, informing the boys that most things concerning them have been forgotten and dropped, telling them that if they'd like to write, it's safe to do so now. Since then, many letters have come and each time I'm delighted. This time is the same.  
  
What do you have? Another one? Kaji asks, stepping into the kitchen in his robe, his hair still messed from sleep.  
  
I nod, smiling as I tear the envelope open. Asuka enters in her uniform, ready for school. I pull the contents out and photos spill forth. Both Kaji and Asuka come close as I begin flipping through them, the first photos they've sent...  
  
Shinji, smiling and shirtless, his skin tan, his hair well passed his ears, cows in the background.  
  
Asuka grabs it from my hands, Kami, he looks like a hillbilly.  
  
I laugh and we look to the next one...  
  
Kaworu, barefoot and shirtless, his hair brushing his shoulders. He's leaning against a beautiful stone house, his hip jutting out like a woman.  
  
Kaji chuckles, Well, Kaworu's still white.  
  
Asuka grabs it, Look at the way he's standing. He could be a model.  
  
We all laugh and then look to the next one...  
  
Shinji and Kaworu standing on either side of a dark-skinned elderly woman, there arms thrown around her. All three of them are laughing.  
  
This must be the woman they're living with. They call her Momma. I say, pointing at the woman's cheerful face.  
  
There's a picture of their room...  
  
Another of Kaworu sleeping in hay...  
  
Another of the boy's heads peering down from the roof of some sort of shed, laughing and smiling...  
  
Another of them with a family, Shinji balancing a toddler on his hip...  
  
And lastly, one of the boys sitting amidst at least fifteen chickens. They're sitting close, they're legs crossed, one of Shinji's draped over Kaworu's. It's obvious they were surprised, and Shinji's blushing like mad. No doubt, they were caught in an intimate moment. I notice there's an arrow drawn on the corner of this one in black ink. I turn the picture over to see English letters in Kaworu's handwriting. I hand it to Kaji.  
  
He smiles, I want to live like this forever.' This is what Shinji said to me our first night here. Thank you, all of you, for making this possible. -the Angel.  
  
Why did he sign it like that? Asuka asks, pulling the picture from Kaji's hands.  
  
Hey, don't be so grabby! My husband scolds.  
  
I guess because he knows that's the way we think of him. I say in answer to her question  
  
Look at that face! They were so making out. Asuka says through a giggle, a hand going to her mouth.  
  
I then lift the letter, Do you want me to read outloud? I ask, glancing from Kaji to Asuka.  
  
Asuka answers, rolling her eyes.  
  
Kaji laughs, nodding for me to go on.  
  
I smile, Dear Misato,  
  
We were really happy when your letter came. Kaworu's already read it at least a dozen times.  
  
How are you? Is your job still boring? How's Kaji? Still enjoying married life? Tell Asuka hi, and tell her to say hi to Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke for me. I miss all of you.   
  
I loved the photos you sent! Especially the ones of the wedding. Please ask Asuka if she'd mind sending some of her and the others at school.  
  
I'm sending some photos too, finally. It took forever to get them developed. I hope you enjoy them. Oh, Kaworu wants me to make sure you know that the one is from him.  
  
Some big news! Ray's wife, Denice, is pregnant! They have three children already, so this will be their fourth. Everyone's excited.  
  
Momma's doing much better. The doctor said she just over-worked herself in the heat. He called it heat exhaustion. He said for her to just keep cool during the hot part of the day and drink plenty of water. She's such a tough woman. It can be one hundred degrees and she's outside weeding the garden. Don't worry though, Kaworu and I are keeping an eye on her.  
  
As for myself... I'm doing much better. I haven't had a nightmare in months, and I don't even know how long it's been since I've cried in sorrow.  
  
As you can see, Kaworu and I are growing our hair out. He's already wearing it in a ponytail sometimes. Things between us are better than ever. I love him so much, Misato... I don't even know how to explain it. It's just good, really good.  
  
So, all in all, things are good, but again, I still miss you guys. Write back soon.  
  
Love always,  
  
ShinjiWow. He sounds really good. Kaji says, leaning close to glance over the letter. His watch beeps, and Asuka nearly jumps out of her skin.  
  
I'm going to be late! Hikari's going to kill me. She grabs up all the pictures, I'm going to show all these to the guys. And with that she's grabbing her stuff, pulling on her shoes, and hurrying out the door,   
  
I fold the letter up and set down atop the torn envelope, He does sound really good. Way better than before. I say, replying to Kaji's earlier statement.  
  
He comes close and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, This is the happiness they've deserved from the beginning.  
  
I nod, placing my hands on his, leaning against his strong chest,   
  


...........................  
  
End.  
  
...........................  


  
Yea! I finally finished! I'm so proud for finishing and getting it all up. I hope all of you've enjoyed it! ^_^ Please, review and let me know.  
  
About reviews... I just want to say thank you SO MUCH for all your words and for helping me reach my goal of 100 reviews. Whether a kind remark, a suggestion, or a flat out flame... Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't be more grateful.  
  
And for all of you who are wondering... No, there will not be a sequel. LoL I could barely finish this one! Besides, I think all that could be told was told in this fic. Perhaps in the future I'll do an extreme alternate universe fic with Shinji and Kaworu. Watch for it.  
  
For now, however, I plan to begin work on a Dragon Ball Z fic, which I'm guessing will take three to four months. Maybe less. *Shrugs.*  
  
Well... Again, I hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to review! Thanks. ^_^


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